If I'd read Poor Richard's Almanac,
I never wouldn't have gone off track -
never would have been apprenticed
to be a gift horse dentist.
I went in for a simple fix,
or so the dentist swore~
next thing I knew, I had hardware
no store would sell at the Home Depot store.
Dentist drilled like he was mining gold,
he screwed like he was building shelves,
and when he said, “You’re doing great,”
I thought, Speak for yourselves.
Now I’ve got titanium treasures
rooted deep inside my gums~
I beep at airport scanners
and frighten toddlers with my hums.
But hey, these teeth don’t wobble,
they don’t complain or pout~
and if one ever loosens,
I’ll just unscrew the thing right out.
So here’s to dental implants~
the upgrade no one seeks.
I went in missing molars…
came out part-robot in two cheeks.
seriously, anybody
strangers on the street
i'm opening the car window
and smiling at other drivers,
teeth and everything,
through the busy and bustling town centre
i am making the most of my connectivity
and improving the public realm.
the 1870s were years of disillusion.
but this is confidence.
the teeth are a summation of all that i
have achieved, no teeth epitomises
more splendidly the qualities the world admires;
i say goodbye to my charisma vacuum,
and laugh at a joke that doesn't exist.
233.
My Idol Dentist
Many times in my life
My teeth have been a strife
It brought me too much pain
That made me quite insane
From childhood to my teen
My teeth so bad have been
‘Coz everytime it aches
Trouble to me it makes
I want to pull it out
I want to make a shout
Root canal and fillings
Cleanings and extractings
All those I've undergone
Until mostly are gone
False teeth when I was teen
True now only thirteen
New denture just last year
Extracts without a tear
Yes, extractions – painless
I also had paid less
To this dentist in town
Who comforts like a clown
Doctor Baticados
Amazing serving boss…
You're my idol dentist
The best among the rest!
-11/29/2013
(Dumarao)
*grinding/molars just extracted painlessly
My friend watched a game last night
-- a real ‘nail-biter’
Poor fellow, carpenter that he is
Cool donkey earned fame as a fine dentist.
For toothache his dinner glum tiger missed.
His wide open mouth of dread,
the donkey looked at, and said,
“your canines need extraction, I insist.”
Came Tiger with sore, rotten teeth
To Doc Donkey to get some relief
“Smells like you've had treats,
Just what did you eat?”
Numbed Tiger said, “Ath, juth a pieth”
dentist has a plethora of sedation devices and techniques
Or so she thinks, not realizing I am a dental PTSD survivor.
I am in a twilight state, until I hear and smell the DD – dreaded drill.
I refuse to go lightly, because I have been hurt by many dentists.
This dentist spends two or three days in my cake cave.
I begin choking, spitting and gagging the second I hear him say,
“I am putting this bone from a cadaver into your mouth.”
A dead person’s bone? What? I am trying to wake up but can’t.
Then he adds this gem “Probably the bone from a pig.”
Also not a great choice of words.
I'm frozen here
And shall remain
While anaesthetic
Eases pain
My lips are fat
My tongue just lies
No words untrue
While spittle flies
A mouth aghast
While tools engage
And rubber fingers
Squeak outrage
Construction
Of the oral kind
So mastication
Is refined
The question of the day ought to be
When will all politicians agree
They say to find the truth
Is much like pulling a tooth
So we should ask a dentist and see
.
babble
garble
Stop
don't
Swallow
Dentist appointments cause me to linger,
Someplace betwixt dread and the blackness,
Fright’s version of despair,
Wistful and aching with silent prayers,
Silent, silence, soundless – still,
All the reasons, the responses, the requisites,
For those hours, endless times
Spent, losing my mind,
With mouth opened to oblige
Fingers pressed against my gums,
Forcing the enemy’s needles,
Taste of lidocaine, breathing in and out,
Through expanded nostrils,
Urgent moments, flooded with apprehension,
Distracted by the metal instruments,
Dreadful apparatuses,
Some intended to scrap at my enamel,
Pick at my fangs,
Some meant to dislodge roots,
Extract a tooth, - a part of me,
A portion of my flesh, my body,
Buried deep in my gums,
Where silent forces sing of dark horrors,
Will this dentist ever finish?
It seems like I’ve been in this chair for hours,
Looking at my watch….
Can it have only been five minutes!?!
I woke up today from a long ugly nap that was real
was in a horrible dentist chair, same old ridiculous feel….
whacko of a dentist had taken extra-long potty break
irritating me for I had one sister of a tooth ache
sent for his assistant who was supposed to come in
refused after she saw all the spittle slipping down my chin
floss and gums took hands and jumped out of my notorious mouth
watch out! The persistent blower said; they are heading south!
that horrible spoon thing he pushes into my gums gave a shout.
the dentist is coming! Act normal, return to the mouth!
everything on floor scurried around like a weird ugly mouse.
jumping so high back into my mouth, bringing fuzz, dust and louse.
my ugly mouth was propped open so wide I could not say one word.
I only knew that this whole dentist visit had been so absurd.
one thing I learned during my irritatingly long nap today
when the dentist steps out, my traitorous mouth wants to play
In the dentist's chair, where fears reside,
Dr. Amir Akel, compassion as his guide.
With empathy vast, a soothing hand,
Pain's specter expelled, a gentle touch.
Effortlessly he worked, a master's hand,
Extracting roots that plagued the land.
No reminder remained of the tooth's distress,
His skill, a balm, pain's gentle egress.
In the clinic's hum, a healing spell,
Dr. Amir Akel, where worries quell.
A dental maestro, with precision keen,
He made the procedure seem serene.
Roots surrendered beneath his chair,
A dance of grace, in the dental lair.
Today's hero, a dentist so kind,
Dr. Amir Akel, relief designed.
Gremlins are in my tooth today
Chipping it out causing decay.
The ache is getting much more worse
My bottom tooth hurts where they lurk.
Can hear those critters laugh and play
Jaw and neck aches more everyday.
Strong painkillers don't help ease it away
The gremlins deeper digging is well under way.
They channel a tunnel toward the root
These tiny things are merciless brutes.
The gremlin grim fairy waits nearby
I'm on the verge of wanting to cry.
The gremlins spread their infectious rot
Taking over with their uninvited squat.
A visit to the dentist is my only hope
If it goes on much longer I shan't cope.
Sitting back in his chair he shines a light
They screamed I swear, it serves them right.
Antibiotics is the first course of action
And told I won't need a tooth extraction.
I am relieved and happy, maybe a little smug
I can beat these gremlins teeth robbing bugs.
Drilling and a filling was done a week later
I'm grateful and thankful to my tooth saving saviour.
20.10.23
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