Best Dentist Poems
The fear
In here ..
The chair
"Don't care "..
Sore gum
Lip numb..
" MUST DRILL
THEN FILL " ..
" Less speed
I'll bleed " ..
Preserve
Your nerve ..
"I've bled"
Jaw dead ..
" RINSE PLEASE"
Weak knees ..
The bill
Plus pill ..
Can't eat
No teeth ..
Unchewed
Soft food ..
Can't talk
Slow walk
Perchance
Soiled pants ?..
Mistake
Toothache !!.....
footle-note ..
The author would like to confirm that no deaths occured , during the creation of this piece. All
suffering was kept to a minimum,as the surgery was sound-proofed .Pain and suffering ,
caused to waiting patients , was due to being forced to read 3yr old mags. Seemingly the
news was less dire back then.All enamel&blood stained swabs were dumped in the
appropriate utensils,as per Geneva Convention(section ix, site xxxiv).The cleansing of soiled
underwear took place ,under supervision, with enviroment friendly detrgents & all offending
materials disposed of , in accordance with the KyotoAgreement(section mlx11).
Must dash !! , as I have to visit that other sadist, the vet ,with our cat.He is due for the snips!
( the cat , not the vet ).. Here Tom..Pshhhwshhh ..
Jill The Dentist
There was once a dentist named Jill
Who thought she was good with a drill
And found doing a filling
Really quite thrilling;
If only her patients stayed still.
06/04/17
jargon
of the mouth
i know it well
the dentist he can spell
in C A P S
9/4/2019
Mr crocodile once had a toothache
Oh ! because he had eaten lots of chocolates and cakes
He was in distress
He wanted a dentist Express
At last a dentist was found his skin was White and face was round
So, Dr. William, he was called
Who was tall and almost bald
Mr crocodile cried my molar has an ache
Does my tooth need to break
Soon dentist took a look and shouted loudly what a pity
You have a cavity
You have been eating sweets in fact
Now your teeth need to be extracted
Just open your mouth large wide
And close your eyes tight
Would you look up at tube light
Aaaaah !that alright
Doctor extracted teeth and Bent low
Mr crocodile shouted oh nooo!
Now crocodile would not eat sweets longer
Can you guess why ??
Because his teeth were not at all stronger.
I went to the dentist today,
And the fee that I had to pay,
For one little tooth,
Was highly uncouth.
It's highway robbery, I say!
7/18/13
dentist office
the hygienist removes
my Bluetooth
"DENTIST"
I called to make an appointment,
it was for a deep cleaning.
"Friday at 8AM please," I said.
"Alright, Friday at 8 it is."
Friday came and soon I found
myself in the chair of doom.
"Alright Eddie, ready for your cleaning?"
I put my earphones in and laid myself back.
the cleaning was a success.
"All done, luckily you caught this gum
disease in time. now we can keep
watch every three months
instead of six. you'll have your teeth
until you are old and gray."
the dentist smiled and walked me to
the exit.
it was in that moment, I realized
I paid $500 to prolong the proper
timing of my teeth falling out.
I guess I can't complain too much,
I got a free toothbrush.
By: Chicano Eddie
8-10-2016
Face fractured with fear
As the Taxi drew near
The building was in the next street
" I'll drop you off here"
Said Steve full of cheer
(Annoyingly rather upbeat.)
As you pushed on the door
It's sticky hinge hissed
And you drew in your breath
At the scent of 'dentist'
"Youre a little late" the lady said
Do you live somewhere rural ?
You swigged on your hip flask
Looked her right in the eye, saying
"Just get me an epidural."
"Now now Mrs Phillips
You'll be just fine "
Said the lady so white and starched
And into the chamber of old magazines,
You were unceremoniously marched.
With Your heart like a piston
And blood pressure soaring
(Even " Horse and Hound" seemed
Tired and boring )
Lulled by a clock counting out every second,
Till you started with fright
As a dental nurse beckoned ...
"Please don't worry, don't be so tense "
Said Helga ( on work experience )
And then with sinister gravity
Said "We'll take care of that cavity "
"Hello" boomed a voice from the back of the room,
I'm here to do your extraction. I've done them before so no need to shake,
Look at me if you need a distraction "
"This won't take a second, it's all pretty simple
Just a couple of jabs and we're there "
So first with your right fist and then with your left,
He was out cold, on the floor, by your chair.
You ripped off your bib, took a swig of the pink
And suddenly feeling much better,
You lunged for the door and ran down the stairs
As fast as a sprightly red setter.
You ran to a sweet shop and asked for some toffee
"Give me the chewiest stuff that you've got"
"Sure said the assistant , this one's from Yorkshire
And here, you can have the lot "
You took of the wrappers and stuffed it all in
Then chewed like a donkey on acid
And in a few seconds, the tooth that was hurting
Left a hole as big as Lake Placid.
So what is the moral
I hear you all ask
Of this tale both of triumph and sorrow ?
Well forget your insurance, leave your cheque book at home,
Just unwrap and chew on a toffo
A dentist bored with life in Minnesota,
decided to go hunting over in Africa.
Taking a trip far out of his way,
his destination would be the nation of Zimbabwe.
He had a desire to try and shoot some game;
using his rifle with a deadly aim.
This was another person without any shame.
For what he went and did, he had some nerve.
The dentist killed a lion on a game reserve.
This was a senseless killing without distinction.
The cat species is very close to extinction.
The government of Zimbabwe wants the hunter back
to stand trial for his unprovoked attack.
Since this hunting is illegal today,
The African nation wants the dentist to pay.
From a news story found on AOL.com
the dentist
discussing my treatment - -
his bottom plate moves
Dracula had the most terrible toothache,
so he booked to see his dentist Mr Payne.
An evening appointment was requested;
as Dracula only rose after the sun had set
When Dracula walked through the door
a blast of garlic breath hit him in the face;
Dracula bit his lip as he had a huge fit
Mr Payne had forgotten his patient’s allergy!
The dentist put on his surgical mask,
whilst he removed Dracula’s rotten fangs;
Sadly for Dracula, he can no longer bite necks,
now he’s being treated for severe anaemia!
V form
Sponsored by Broken Wings
Word chosen – Vampire
09-24-17
Nervous in the chair
Working on the problem teeth
Look at all the pebbles
Dentist
While polishing some canine teeth
and cleaning out some gums.
the werewolf bit down viciously
on the dentist’s thumbs.
Although he bit him brutally,
nothing will transpire.
The patient was a werewolf,
but the dentist’s a vampire!
I think I'll be a dentist
This year for Halloween
And scare the trick-or-treaters
Into keeping their teeth clean!
Bonus activity: Explain to children that they should brush their teeth twice a day,
once in the morning and once before bed to guard against cavities. Brushing at
night is particulary important, as you're asleep 8-10 hours, giving bacteria lots of
time to destroy your teeth.
When Dentist Calls
Clear white tiny whirring brook spirals porcelain down
Monitored through forest of sharp hard objects
In a glare of concentrated artificial brightness
Stark forms, silver entities, probe my thoughts
Through my tooth roots to get to the truth
There are still more things to come
Dentist and assistant fill my mouth with wisdom and cotton
Where my Marlon Brando Godfather impression takes place
Along with x-rays of a few bad teeth acting up or acting out a scene
My mouth becomes that void, that black hole
With which a need to fill it
With everything in the cosmos, becomes apparent
Apparatuses, appendages, products from unknown Asian markets
Go in and disappear
Dentist looks satisfied with his new creation
The interrogation begins
I blink my approval as the needles go in.
My tongue is the first to stray into slurs as doctor quips,
“And gargle please and spit!” “That’s it!” “Open big!” “Tell me everything!”
I remembered a story as a boy
As my mouth and face melt away
And the whirring spirals porcelain down to dentists call