I came to you already drowning.
You reeked of endings.
I dove in head-first.
Perfect.
I told myself that you were off limits
I promised that I would not fall
But I lost that battle early on
With each joke and laugh we share, the less I want to hang on.
The edge is drawing near.
I don't want to fall, but I'm not ready to jump
My lifeline is growing shorter,
Each laugh is like a gravitational pull
I can't hold on much longer
The reason why I won't jump is replaced with an encouraging one.
The water is shallow and I know that
A leap of faith is all it takes
I keep drawing back, letting fear take over
I can't be scared forever can I?
To keep fighting makes me weak, but you give me the strength
One day I will let go, but how do I know that you'll be there to catch me if I fall?
Little do I know, I fell a long time ago.
At the deep end of the pool
he prefers this exercise -
on bench he removes his foot
and unties his shoe
Granny has found a new trend
With unseen waves to contend
Ironing board skurfing
And living room surfing
Granny's gone off the deep end!
7-15-2022
Limerick Contes
Sponsor: Lisa YY
how still is our silence, hermit
if we yet calibrate merit
searching, discerning and seeking
inadvertent acts, soul stifling
far cry yet, tranquil calm perfect
12-July-2021
Feel the divine nectar drip
As it embarks upon its trip
From the Bindu-Sahasrara
Via Ajna to the Anahata
Fire in Manipura must wait
As in the heart bliss elates
Expansion therein exponential
Amidst silent thunder magical
Feel numerous lifetrons awaken
From their slumber gently shaken
Rising in joy to the dance divine
In synchronous harmony all align
Each gyration of the Ohm pulse new
Renewing itself in beauteous hues
Dive in oh hermit! Dive in deep
Feel the nectar into each pore seep
Feel without imagining or anticipating
Pulse of divine magnetism scintillating
The rise, the peak, the plateau, the fall
Across all coordinates feel love call
Shifting tides being of no consequence
To formless presence jiving in innocence
Moment to moment to moment we flow
In resistanceless stillness gentle & slow
31-July-2020
When I am pulled underneath
When shadows call forth
Where do I go?
I can’t catch my breath
As I feel the current
slip me further to the end.
Like the descending flicker of a candle wick
Darkness sinks in
Branding my soul
as blackness burns beneath.
while sleeping
i hear the pitter
but not the patter
that will come later
(how many thought
"latter"? "ladder"? or
"lather"? it doesn't
matter, dreams are
that way, happily
ever after...) but in
nonsuch lets say:
the feet steps of
a little creature
running top my
roof (really just
a squirrel, but lets
say we decided
to use "lather" in
stead):
the sound of drops
perhaps raindrops
since it would
be insane to say
there's a faucet
above my house
but since it's lather
let me finish washing
and massaging my Muse
then get a rubber
should get a rubber
washer first to stop
the dripping drops
that patter and keep
me from getting
a good night's
sleep
Staring at the blank walls
You think of the what ifs
The what it could be,
The why it happened
You’re stuck
Stuck in a battle of the past
Begging for peace
Begging for a way out
Staring into the distance
You make yourself distant
Having feelings of failure
Feelings of guilt
Bringing thoughts to give up
Hoping you can just give in
Feeling you’ll never win
Not knowing where you fit
Wanting to jump off the deep end
Unable to control the anger within
When you’ve fallen
When control feels lost
Searching for hope
Lost in a painful memory
Hoping for a way to let someone in
Wanting the pain to subside again
Aching for a second chance
Staring at the blank walls
A hard battle that won’t be effortless
Remembering there will always be a reason to fight
A chance to conquer
Past the demons plaguing within.
He stepped into the deep end
Lost control of his own free will
Lost the ability to see, feel and smell the sweet roses
That lay on the ground by the house that is now falling apart
Where there used to be children, happiness, courage
Where there used to be LIFE
But now there is nothing,
Nothing but the sweet roses that lay on the ground
The waters cold and unforgiving here
I breathe nothing but a deluge of fear
'Tis a shame to blame
The end of my rising fame
On tracked veins drowning my career
February 24, 2016
Every stroke takes you farther away,
panic sets in,
your body, starts to tremble,
with fear,
every stroke takes you farther away,
to the deep end, away from safety,
the shallow end kind of safety,
the feet on ground,
kind of safety,
the, my family is all here,
kind of safety,
the I won't drown here,
kind of safety.
But, you know how to swim, right?
It's just that it's been a long time, right?
Since you dove in, feet first, then head first.
Why not try heart first, since,
it's not the brain that needs washing,
it's the heart, first. That's where love grows.
The waters of truth are cold, true,
but, they wake you up, they refresh,
the mind, body, and spirit.
They set you free from fear and panic.
So, don't hesitate, jump in, the waters fine,
stroke away with me in the deep end.
You'll be ok, really, I promise.
John Derek Hamilton November 4,2015
Silent are the lambs while screaming are the lions
Howling are the wolves while hiding are the rabbits
Soul static...is pumping through your pounding pulse
Broke down and broke out like lunatics on the loose
Your breathing it stops now slowly you choke
Hope's now hanging from a hangmans rope
As those sad clowns of chaos confuse and confound you
Take a deep breath...don't let the deep end drown you
Tightrope trippin above a sea full of sharks
Bad beasts waiting...with the bite and the bark
Dripping into darkness your bleeding heart is bled dry
You wished upon a shooting star now you're wishing just to die
As one thousand jagged jaws now they slowly all surround you
Take a deep breath...don't let the deep end drown you
From the sting of bullets to streams of blood
You get heated in the hatred as you're looking for the love
Relentlessly searching for the rhyme and the reason
Now you're running from your fears
Far beyond the reigns of reality and reason
You made a deal with the devil
Tore the ticket they call treason
As fallen angels come to take you back where they found you
Take a deep breath...don't let the deep end drown you
Black pearls grow in the
Shallow pools of wisdom that
Sharks can not fathom
Counted to ten
Then dove in again..
Oops!
My ocean of love,
Bone dry!
Sorrow,
Thigh high!
Cynthia
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