A man sets out to ply his trade
He's anxious: Will he make the grade
He knows there is a lot to learn
Yet money also must be earned
His life's adventure, to be played
Into the marketplace he wades
He thrusts his blade into the fray
A butcher, he, with strength to burn
To ply his trade
He slices true, his knife upraised
Each cut of meat with care is weighed
His customers do soon discern
This butcher is a man who's yearned
For livelihood that's honest-made
To ply his trade
(Iambic Tetrameter)
Went to St Richards early today
Had an appointment so that was okay
The problem is this; I went in with a hernia
But when I came out... I had hyperthermia
Whilst no radiator did radiate heat
And I was laid out like a chilled cut of meat
The staff got abuse from a quite irate geyser
‘I'm going to Iceland to sit in the freezer’
They prodded and scanned me right down to my toes
And broke off the icicle hung from my nose
They asked if I'd registered my next of kin
I said, ‘That's her there with the goosebumpy skin’
When they lifted my gown and asked me to cough
They snapped what they thought was an icicle off
The chill numbed the pain as they whipped off my wheener
So I went in as Terry and came out as Tina
Pork's an interesting cut of meat
Which gentiles find tasty to eat--
It's a no-no for Jews
And for Muslims too--
It's the meat where these religions can meet
I ate the shank of the turnips what a wonderful food
Dipped the cornbread into the pot liquor
Then shawshanked out of the room..
My mother-in-law said her father called her older sister, Shank
And he called her Shawshank
Just out of curiosity I looked them up..Surprise, surprise!!
Shank means the top of a vegetable like the turnip tops, beets or parsnips or carrot, etc..It also is a cut of meat the shank park of a ham..
However, I did not find a meaning on shawshank until I looked in the Urban Dictionary and it means passing gas in small amount moving around a room or building to keep anyone from knowing who passed the gas..LOL..I guess my mother-in-law must have been a gassy baby..LOL
The full Moon beckoned me from my slumber
To come out into the night to play
A stroll in the dark asunder
A voyeur under the Moonlight ray
Dressed in black I embarked on my walk
Not anticipating anything new
When flames through the bushes I spied
A strange smell much like beef stew
I crept low and quiet through the hedge
To ascertain what my neighbors were up to
And to my wandering eyes did appear
Ten people in warrior paint each armed with a spear
In the middle of which a woman of very large breast
Was tied upon a long stick putting gravity to a test
Slowly she was turned as if a roasted swine
To the pleasure of the cannibals savoring their wine
Grab a breast, a thigh, a bottom any bite of pleasure
Cannibal delight under the Moon oh what a treasure
They savored every ounce of her in sacrificial delight
No forks or plates needed just a butchers' knife
Thin or thick is your desire depending on your cut of meat
Cannibals delight my neighbors secret the best you will ever eat.
The Unseen Portugal
There are many poor people in Portugal, thousands
of people need on food banks to survive.
Some schools keep open even when closed only so
children can get a warm meal a day.
There is great austerity in Portugal hidden away in
corners the tourist industry never reaches.
The poor live on rice- if they can afford gas to cook it-
but mostly they eat canned food and corn flakes.
Many Portuguese live in houses without sanitation, in
narrow streets many visitors will call picturesque.
Yet on TV cookery programs are running wild, where
chefs show viewers how to cook the best cut of meat.
They tell you about the rich healthy food and where
to buy those appetizing dishes and great wines.
These programs are a display of opulence, a travesty
of reality when there is so much hunger in the land of
historic cities, sunny summers and sandy beaches.
I will no longer be trying to cook a hearty Chuck roast
For it usually ends up dry,and about as dry as burnt toast
I tried so many ways to cook this hunk of meat
Though in the end the results,are definitely no treat
That cut of meat to me doesn't seem to be the best
For it never turns out,quite as good as the rest
I know how to cook them,steady,slow,and low
And to use a slowcooker is the best way to go
If your going to make a roast,use a rump,a round,or a sirloin tip
Stay away from those Chuck roasts,and it will surely be a hit
I guess their is no one to blame for these mishaps you see
For I was the only one cooking them,Chef Danny,that's me
Dannyboy:9-7-12
:oP