My heart is like apple crumble:
Fragile, warm even when I fumble.
Tight about the past—
transparent glass panes,
stained and cracked
by crooked, wicked lies.
Sacred are these settled energies.
They muddle about,
never lifting their feet.
I mean higher than the next—
higher than anything else.
Tether thyself to greatness.
Witness its greatness,
or keep thinking
in the same tones you speak in.
There is no treatment—
only the fight
against debilitating sickness.
You hold it together
with shoestring,
scotch tape,
and wink-less nights
working alongside the sabbath,
long past first light.
Long double-shift shiftiness
into the only off day.
No longer tis old boulder—
a new obstacle
has been waiting for me.
I urgently need
the percentile damage increase.
If my awakened visions
lie in legitimacy,
or if they’re just
daydreams re-sold—
Sandman’s regift,
passed down,
along beside me,
and made well past due.
What use is standing upon
business if it’s business
encroaching on you?
It’s not impossible—
but the benefit
must be mine
before I just give it to you.
You always said you knew me so well;
better than I knew myself.
You'd tell me all about me:
what I wanted, how I felt.
I'd do just what you told me.
You'd say I sinned, so I confessed.
Because of course it's true—
it came from you,
and you always know best.
You always said you were protecting me,
sheltering me,
keeping me safe.
And I needed to be safe
it's true,
but that's not what you'd do.
I needed to be safe—
still do—
but I wasn't safe with you.
I was a child.
I didn't need to be strong,
I needed to be safe.
But that's not how the cookie crumbles,
not how you played the game.
Lord knows that I'm trying,
everyone's selling and I'm still buying,
it's like my feet won't lift to prevent my stumbles,
every move forward my stature crumbles,
lean not on my own understanding,
do this and life won't be so demanding,
*For I am all too human, the trouble is with me,
subtract that factor will give the solution to be,
a Word is written to answer my question,
a Word to begin a birth and end in a resurrection,
surrender to Him to never stumble,
a joyous life which can never crumble.
*Romans 7:14
Bittersweet, or just a hard pill to swallow?
I’ve done this to myself, haven’t I?
Watching it crumble around me,
Piece by piece,
Like everything I once held so tight,
Now slipping through my fingers,
Flames to ashes,
Ashes to dust.
I know what I’ve done.
I know it all too well.
Yet, I feel nothing.
Not even the searing burns on my skin,
From the fires I set,
The wreckage I called my life.
All the dreams turned to smoke,
The hopes, now embers.
I watch them scatter,
Lost to the wind.
And still, I don’t flinch.
I don’t cry.
I don’t feel.
Should I rebuild?
Stack brick upon broken brick,
Layer the mortar thick with regret?
Or do I revel in the scars I bear,
A reminder that I once was capable
Of burning it all to the ground?
Would healing make me whole,
Or leave me hollow?
And still, I stand in the ruins,
Wondering,
If silence after destruction
Is worse than the fall.
When it rains, it pours,
but you cannot see
the tears that race down my face,
mixing with the showers
that force my clothes
to stick to my skin, my flesh -
wounds you cannot see.
You stand and stare,
yet my world has crumbled
into pieces I cannot gather.
You have sucked the energy
from my body, my soul, my mind.
Yet, you stand there,
while it pours,
and you cannot see
a single drop.
I prefer the myths to the dry histories, where truths come and then crumble away,
For history is written with a quill of feathers, but the myth, eternal, beats with wings of iron.
Mythology dresses lies in dazzling robes that over time are clothed in truth,
And it gives birth to a wisdom that time can shape as the river shapes the stone.
Intelligence, deaf and blind, listens only to defy or to nod in assent,
Thus the message, like a drifting ship, is lost on misunderstood seas.
Instead of welcoming the word as a guest to the tables of meditation, it would tear down the messenger,
And we, mortals learned, have lost the art of sitting with the message, of cherishing the story.
The fault, it is said, lies in the arms of that education which molds us into valiant soldiers of certainty,
Not into wise seekers of questions, of meanings hidden in the folds of the everlasting myth.
Our world stubbornly struggles to tear the thick paper of deep understandings,
Poisoning us with dogmas, forgetting in the procession of days that all which was once a lie may bloom as the apple of new knowledge.
Like cookies by legend Amos
This day's for presidents famous
The resident scoop
On such a small group
Makes us like an ignoramus
The world will crumble
she will lay lifeless with the rubble
of the emotional damage
caused by the animal who wanted to end his troubles
there she stood in the heat
weak in the knees
by the sight of her father
his life running out like a timer
to later say her final farewell
at the hospital sobbing her eyes out like hell
she said her final goodbye
in the end, he died, and so did a part of her as well
she melt with the rubble
she felt her world crumble
May the *House of Cards* fall
Crumble, try to catch the ball but fumble
May it trip down the stairs, a clumsy stumble
Tumble down old ways, only goodness & love stay
Good riddance corruption & lies, now the people rise
Exit this Land of Illusion, a Broken System
Not really broken, but built that way
All by design, they committed a crime
Lies and deceit filled our pretty streets
'We The People' stand tall, won't let you take it all
We'll have our say, more us than them
The day will come, they'll be made to pay
Be locked away for a million days
'We The People' won't have it any other way.
As I write down my thoughts
On paper, of where I want to be
A year from now or
Will I get married, be a movie star
My thoughts changes quickly
And I crumble up my paper and
Try to start over
I’ll pull out another piece
Of paper, looking at it while
Trying to clear the cobb-webs
From my head
Which seems to distract me
Over and over again
My thoughts seems to
Come together, taking me
Into another dimension
I had to sift through the rumble
To un-crumble my thoughts
JANUARY 9, 2021
May the house of cards fall
Crumble
Try to catch the ball but fumble
May it trip down the stairs in a clumsy stumble
Tumble down old ways, only goodness & love stay
Good riddance corruption & lies - time for the people to rise
Exit this Land of Illusion, this Broken System
That wasn’t really broken but just built that way
Lies and deceit filled our pretty streets
But we the people stand together, & we’ll have our say
For there are many more of us than them
And the day will come where they will pay
I'm hungry with a grumble
I know because I stumble
So I need a bite to eat
That is sugary and sweet
How about apple crumble
Track: Lil Wayne - Lollipop
Let the hell break loose and let the wicked be released
Let there be no ray of hope in the sky
Let the heavens crumble and thy Poseidon give a cry of war from his abode,
Yet my will stands strong as it was as I am the Zeus and my stubborness is my thunderbolt
I will restore heaven, hell and earth and behold the ruler I have become,
I am my brightest hope in my darkest times
Feelings crumble
inside me when we said good-bye
The worse was when, you love, of my humble
life, looked at me then sighed
against my arms you lay as if in dreams asleep
No longer to play and laugh at my side, I weep
Your memory I always keep
You're with me still, walking close for when I stumble
6-10-19
"Crumbling" Rhyme Contest
Sponsor: Dear Heart
4th place
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