Funny Christmas Poems

the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search 
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night

the common oak 
a wise...

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The night before Christmas my 6-year-old grandson was elated, 
for he knew Santa would bring him bagful of gorgeous gifts  
and he would come...

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Santa sang as he approached the streets.
Couldn't wait to give out some treats.
From the window, he looked East.
He saw there was a feast.
Rode back and...

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Frosty

there once was a snowman named frosty
whose figure was round and quite glossy
he danced through the town
till the sun came around
and left poor old frosty...

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Cranberry garlands the Christmas tree
Piña empanadas and gifts of filigree 
Children’s faces aglow
Kissing ‘neath the mistletoe 
Midnight mass tradition with family

    ...

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Christmas geese run loose on corporate lawns
So why should I stand in line at the markets
When dinner is free ranging on asphalt in visitors parking

With...

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Please rate 1-10
(1 Santa would be proud or
  10 A coal in your stocking!)

A white Christmas in Chicagee don't make no sense
Bout time we...

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Two days before Christmas
Finally, it is near
I’m so sick of the chatter and all the cheer
Smiling faces, warm hearts, and hugs
I can only think of...

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Deck the Halls
Whacked the guy that stole my money
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
"Jail's the place for you now, sonny,"
Fa, la, la,...

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Some people say I’m a dreamer…an idealist…a Pollyanna
some people, I imagine, just like you.
They say I have unrealistic hopes and dreams and wishes…
that my wishes...

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              The Red Velvet Christmas Robe
 
Oh, that special Christmas, unlike the...

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CHRISTMAS DISCIPLINE

Just a maybe, 
pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too 
pa rum pum pum pum
Do not think me insolent 
pa rum...

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There is a moment every single year
Such a joyful one without a tear
The tree is up, the food purchased
Delivered present, friends embraced
With time taken out...

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Dasher and Dancer yelled midair
and said to Santa, “We can't fly!
Earth satellites have made a snare
of wireless currents in the sky!”

Then Santa answered, “Use plan...

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Twas the night before Christmas, all snug in my bed,  
With visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.  
But little did I know,...

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