Chamber Pot Poems | Examples


Premium Member BLASPHEMY

WTFWT
A CLATTER, A BANG
A SLAP-A-CLANGER
A BAM OR SLAM
A FIREWORK BANGER
A ZOOM, A BOOM
A CLAP OF THUNDER
A DROPPED CHAMBER POT
A GAZUNDER
A SCREECH OF FRIGHT
A SOUND OF CRYING
A LIGHTNING STRIKE
A MOAN OF DYING
A RUMBLING OF SOMEONE'S TUMMY.
A BABIES YELL
WHEN IT CAN'T FIND IT'S DUMMY
A SCRAPING NOISE
A GRATING SOUND
A SHOUT OF JOY
A TREASURE FOUND
A TRILL OF A BIRD
A FALLING TREE


I GIVE UP,
IT'S PROVING TOO MUCH FOR ME
I WILL STOP AND HAVE SOME TEA
WTFWT CAME FROM MY MOUTH TOO EASILY
I AM NOT THE GIRL I USED TO BE!
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Herbal Essence

chamber pot plesure
A little dab'l do ya
lightening wax and wane
Form: Haiku


Premium Member Those Giggling Christmas Elves

The elves are fighting over the Christmas bell again.
It is fragile and ringing, underneath my fat chin.
I will wish you a merry Christmas, my darling friend.
Before I clobber those elves. Will that damned ringing end?
Oh, man, they are poltergeists, and they have run into a wall.
I am frantic now, for they are less than four inches tall.
They can do a lot of damaging in there, without a chamber pot.
Have a terrific New Year’s, also. You are the only friend I’ve got.
Those giggling devils have turned out the light. This clearly ain’t right!
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Personal Pukey Politics

Personal Pukey Politics
By Franklin Price
11/10/2018

Personal pukey politics
Which I have seen today
Is detrimental to the ones
Who don't care what they say

Risking years of friendship
To defend the party line
Makes me sick to think of it
Whether the party's yours or mine

The dirty nasty comments
From both sides of the aisle
When transferred to the populous
Corrupt the rank and file

No contact is required
To play these  silly stupid  games
Over idiotic politics
We call each other nasty names

Mass media makes it possible
To stir the chamber pot
And spread the stink to everyone
Whether we are friends or not

Rise above this spreading stink
Climb the hill to reach fresh air
Stop this stupid bickering
Value friendship if you care
Form: Rhyme

Put a U In Topia

Put a U in topia
Every house renter is to own, 
forget the rich, cos they will moan,
about this change of pitch,
self serving super twits,

Dollar greed is never fair,
 for when you're dead it isn't there,
you selfish son of a vich,
time to tear yer heir,
a dreadful thought the switch,

equal for all is on the peoples wall,
those born to wealth will *****,
Bastardry, has cut off balls
not small, says the bugle snitch,
Duty here, is to the all, 
get used to it a bit, 
people power, the taste of gall,
the chamber pot is pist.

Equal wage for every sage,
or dumb as ducks Tom Tit,
Whiite light doth bring a newbie age,
you can depend on it.
Don Johnson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVLA3j71LoU&feature=em-upload_owner
Form: Ballad


Balzac

Balzac writing 
the night away
and taking a long piss
into the 19th century
chamber pot
Form: Tanka

Premium Member Upset Husband

Daily bedroom cleaning
His chamber pot is quite full 
WHERE’S!!!!! MY CHAMBER POT !

By eve roper 10/23/2014

Premium Member Antique Store

I took my periodic stroll through the local antique store today.
I stumbled over things and stepped 'round clutter to make my way.
I looked for clocks, found none, but saw many things I could do without,
And those are the things that I propose to tell you all about.

There was an old buggy wheel - I could see no use for that.
I saw horse collars, washboards and someone's stuffed Angora cat.
On the wall was a photo of a Victorian guy glaring back at me.
Also displayed was a chamber pot and a scraggly Christmas tree!

What use have I for a manure fork or hubcaps for a '47 Dodge,
Or a shaggy buffalo robe or shriveled scalps from an Indian lodge?
Displayed were coffee grinders and old Prince Albert tobacco cans,
A portrait of Napoleon and a hood ornament for a '37 Mercedes Benz!

Hanging on a clothes rack was an old soldier's moth-eaten uniform.
I have no need  for a hornet's nest that once held and angry swarm.
Though I found many things I could do without, not so my spouse!
She bought a cart full of gimcracks and trumpery to clutter up the house!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

First Place in Black Eyed Susan's "Antique" Contest - May 2014
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Limerick: Once a Prince From the Kingdom Toikey

Limerick:  Once a Prince from the Kingdom Toikey

Once a Prince from the Kingdom Toikey
Insisted on being wed by his turnkey
But his you may know not
Got stuck in a chamber pot
That’s how the Queen got wed by her lackey.

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Form: Limerick

Why Why Why

WHY DID I COMMIT SUCH A STUPID CRIME,
AS ALL IT GOT ME WAS A BIT OF TIME,
TO WAKE UP IN THIS LITTLE DIRTY CELL,
TO THE NOISE OF A SCREW WITH HIS BELL,

SLOP OUT ,TWO TRIPS ONLY,
MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD AND REALLY REALLY MOANIE,
I GO AND EMPTY MY CHAMBER POT,
AND HE TELLS ME THATS YOUR LOT,
I TRY TO SPEAK BUT HE STOPS ME DEAD,
I WISH I COULD TELL HIM WHATS IN MY HEAD,
I GO IN MY CELL AND HE SLAMS THE DOOR,
AND I HEAR HIM SAY IF YOU DONT LIKE IT DONT COME BACK NO-MORE
Form: Rhyme

The Dunny Out the Back.

When I was a lad, we had a dunny out the back,
just a hundred feet away from the house,
down a little narrow track.
I never paid a call, as often as I should,
because upon  opening the door,
the smell, boy, was it good.
Once inside, it was cold, dark, and clammy,
sitting there with my parts all bared,
sent shivers up my tummy.
At night, with the blankets over my head,
I would give thanks, 
for the chamber pot, stowed under my bed.
Once, while in the toilet, in the rain,
a large spider, bit me on the leg,
jeepers, what a pain.
I was up, and out of there, as fast as I could run,
screaming, dad, dad, dad,
a bloody great spider, just bit me on the bum.
"Quiet, quiet, son" he said,
"you are making enough noise to wake the dead."
Now, when I am in the toilet, with its air conditioned heat,
sitting ensconced upon my china throne,
my mind drifts back to that old bush dunny, 
with its solid wooden seat.

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