Bug spray
When you had enough
Raid tough
Say goodbye to bugs
Away with pest thugs
Bugs will no longer try
Bye Bye
Show them find some other place to invade
Your house is not their shade
Raid strong
The bugs will no longer belong
Raid spray and be done
Bugs will no longer be among
In most of the movies back in the day.,.
women of the sixties wore glasses, so they could be smart
Women without glasses were thought to have empty non-thinking heads
In the sixties TV shows, all librarians wore glasses
Even the ones who did not need them
sexy women put their hair in ponytails and wore glasses
So men would be afraid of their smart brains.
When the women wanted to wow the men
They would take their hair down and
take off their glasses
The men's eyes would bug out.
They could not believe how attractive the women had become.
They barely recognized them and fell in love instantly.
As soon as the smart glasses came off.
we watched this on TV all the time when I was young
The sun is shining brightly
On high and in my heart
Can't think of any good reason
Why my happy is off the chart
Could it just be a fluctuation
In my everyday ebb and flow
Or am I about to inherit a fortune
Perhaps fifty million or so
That'd get my heart a-pumping
Have to go lie down I fear
Gotta survive to really enjoy my luck
At least for a few more years
Maybe a trip to some exotic place
Where the girlies dress in grass skirts
Swing and sway oh what a scene
This stress I must try to avert
Always been a real big sucker
For members of the opposite sex
They drive me wild, my eyes bug out
I stutter and stammer, by heck
How bout that, my fine feathered friends
Survived another bout of girly-itis
One day it's sure gonna get me good
When it renders me totally speechless
The sun is shining brightly
On high and in my heart
Do you know why I'm so pooping happy
Coz of the joy you do impart<>
Women must have a special gene
Not like us jocks they wear tight jeans
My eyeballs bug out
At times twist and shout
Might even call it a scream extreme
My bug out bag would include my grandchildren.
It would have to be large, because I have ten.
My cat and dog would go in and my wild raccoons.
They count on me for their food right?
My husband could stay home.
I have had him so long we are redundant.
We can watch eight hours of TV
And laugh at only the same things
And say the same words
For the entire time, and only these words.
I would take a jug of red grapefruit juice,
and a five tires and a large bundle of rope.
Matches for a bon fire.
Wait! I am taking the cat out.
She is ordering the children about again.
Making one cry.
The dog gets to go; she is laid back.
Is that a rat? Who brought that?
Okay. If it has a name,
How can I say no to a pet?
It is the ides of March
My throat feels parch
It’s like we were stabbed in the back
On the level of the Brutus attack
They say there is a bug out there
Stalking the air
Taking down life’s nice modern day special things
That keeps peace for leaders that include royal Kings
As we say good bye to social interaction
Allowing isolated bitterness to an acceptable attraction
I give my gratitude for that glass of water
From the returning reporter
In the field
Asking the question, “what is the deal”?
There are many ways to look at this mess
Claiming being a member of the press
Listen and think before one write
Since paranoia can breed an uncomfortable plight
Communication is important right now
Maturity is a key in knowing how
With my voice now clear
Trying not to offend a Mexican beer
Carrying on with the show
That is about distributing information on what we think we know
Nona is love with a spoon in her hand,
To stir the pot or smack your hand.
She's free with her hugs, her stories, her food,
But if your bad she comes unglued.
She hustles and bustles all over the place.
She fusses and worries and gets in your face.
If she can't solve your problems with food and a hug,
She'll call in a priest and get down on the rug,
To pray for your soul and your problems she'll share.
With the priest and The Lord she'll lay her heart bare.
If you don't have a boyfriend then she's sealed your fate.
She'll call up her nephew and get you a date.
Never tell her you're hungry 'less you want to be fed.
She'll feed you till your eyes bug out of your head;
And when she feeds you you'd best clean your plate.
If you don't eat it all then her food you must hate.
Then her feelings are hurt and you feel like a cad,
So eat till you're sick so she don't feel bad.
She's the queen of the guilt trips and the queen of hearts,
But she does give new meaning to the phrase,"Ow! that smarts."
Her eyes still twinkle though she's withered and old,
But when God made her, He broke the mold.
Want to talk?
Silence.
Want to play a game?
Head shake.
Want to put a puzzle together?
Silence.
What can I do to help?
Head shake.
Has someone hurt your feelings?
Silence.
Can you tell me how you are feeling?
Head shake.
You are great at not talking.
I see a glimpse of a glimmer of a smile.
Breakthrough.
Thirty minutes after playing
With legos and animals this five-year-old laughs loudly
I had said, “You are the boss.
I am your minion.”
His joyous laughter was unexpected, and loud,
And it seemed to go on forever.
My bestie the nurse asks me later who was laughing so hard in my office.
I tell her and her eyes bug out.
You are kidding! She says.
I smile.
Have you ever dated an electric eel?
You'll never forget the way it feels,
If you roll with an eel in the sack,
Brace yourself for that electric crack,
A hug will make your eyes bug out,
A kiss will make you twitch and shout,
Visions of eel love will burn in your head,
Check your pulse for you might be dead,
A date with an electric eel can be so exciting,
Like dancing with a bolt of lightning,
Sadly our love would never last,
But I have to say it was quite a blast.
Motto Matters Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Natasha Scragg
09/10/21
No Faze
20/08/2018
This is not a passing faze,
Your in my heart,
Your here to stay.
Captured and in raptures,
My swollen heart always stirs.
When your sweet smile comes to mind,
All else becomes a blur.
The sunshine your face exudes,
Make your eyes sparkle like jewels.
That cheeky grin thats mesmerising,
When time arrives for fantasising.
Sweet soft face so tantalising,
I’m in adoration and idolising.
Your perfect chest,
Inside and out.
I must be blessed,
I have no doubt.
You dress to kill, and dance to thrill.
My eyes bug out, our drinks I spill.
Your confidence is sassy,
Each move you make is sexy.
Your the girl of my dreams,
My everything it seems.
I’ll love you in every way
Until my dying day.
I’ve one thing left to say,
I’m never going away.
Sixteen, thirty-six, sixty-six, eighty-one
Age has no bearing, gawking's a sport for everyone
When a filly walks by
We bug out our eyes
We have trouble breathing, we come undone
Two doomsday preppers
heard it was the end,
so got out their bug out bags,
guns and ammo,
and their journey began…
While hiking through
the thick Georgia woods,
they mentioned to each other,
to shoot anything that moved…
It was a couple of hours later,
and hearing some gun shots
and feeling dread,
accidentally walked on the set
of the Walking Dead!
They've named a new dish of pasta and noodles
After my wannabe chef, makes dough by the oodles
They call it “la scotta”
To try it ya oughtta
Puts hair on your chest and makes you bug out your pupils!!!
© Jack Ellison 2015
I am going to write a funny poem
How is tomorrow?
Does it look like today?
Then I don't want it
Okay not?
Then yeah I want it
Just to make sure you wrap it up okay?
I want it as a present
Sure hope you come
Did I just say that?
Sure hope you not come haha
What do I want to say?
I don't know what I want to say
Just know I want to say it
"Say what?"
Ahhh
Bug me, will ya?
I need to get the bug out of me
Shhhh burning
It will combust
Did you get the kink out yet?
No? Not yet?
Do you know what you are doing?
Lol
Running machine
Who is running?
Surely not moi
What are you talking about?
Did you say you'll succeed?
Wish you luck
'Cause you are going to need a lot of luck
What are the chances?
One in a million?
Around there
No one wins yet
Lol
Who talks about bs?
I do
I will talk about bs
until you are blue in the face
'Cause I know bs when I see one
Take one to know one lol
You can say that haha
Ahhh
What do I do with you?
Can't get away
Can't f away
Can't do away
What? What can I do with you?
I give up
You can coo if you want too
But it's not going to work on me
Cookadoodle doo
Willie Willa
When does the sun rise?
What Stout Is About
Me, Finn and McGee
We went to the pub the see
This new fancy Stout
They've been talkin' about
I ordered, and we were served three
Now when I looked down
Me mouth made a frown
For a fly was afloat in me beer
So I tossed the drink out
And I gave out a shout
I'll be wanting a fresh one right here
Finn then looked in
And a fly seemed to swim
In his glass filled with stout so brown
So he pulled the bug out
Then tossed it about
And drank the stout all the way down
Now Wee Luck McGee
looked down just to see
That a fly was floating about
So he grabbed both his wings
And while shaking the thing
Said "Bastard, you best, spit it out"
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