Best Wifely Poems


Premium Member The Seeker

Act 2, Scene 4.
The Salisbury plain. Within a henge, a watchfire burns. The Seer approaches The Seeker.

Take heed, my friend, our part in cosmic cheat
Plays on; below the stage the truth lies quite.
Hold off the blazing sun's firstfound deceit,
Trust only in the filtered lunar light.

Maids long for wifely pleasure while wives cry
For their lost maidenhood, each of a date
They'd cast away; while Fate presides on high,
With ever laughing countenance it waits.

Mere mortal men lie dreaming all bewitched;
They ken not of the ruse nor hollow fake
Which gods employ on them, their eyes bestitched,
Awash in hope shown false if they would wake.

Unknowing we are born, Illusion's tide
A ceaseless pull, until the great divide.

Premium Member Sampler On the Parlor Wall

Picture on the Parlor Wall 9-27-24
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sampler on the Parlor Wall

Shadows born from dawdling light
Stretch across a firelit room set with porcelain cups,
From tea parties long ago and faraway,
With an invitation to sample sweets and savories
Like the sampler on the parlor wall.

Beneath neat rows of alphabets stories gather,
Verses stitched with silk and dreams
And numbers that taught a woman’s craft –
A child’s wishes fly with birds and lady bugs –
Wishes to convince a suitor at the door of her wifely worth
In tidy stitches foreshadowing an orderly life.

A young lady-girl in pantaloons and blue sashes
Weaves circles of symphonic dots in French wheels
While lazy daisy chains meander on her linen fields -
Magic flares in her zigzag lines, her wishes on wooly stars.

No signature remains from her little hand -
Her hearth, her home, her heart –
Only a legacy of butterflies and roses sampled on a parlor wall
And a tiny scarlet dot of imperfection like a signature remains
Embroidered into a sampler embracing each dawn and dusk.

Premium Member This Genie's No Jeannie

A curvy mermaid once spotted me
Fast asleep 'neath the shade of a tree --
   She cried, I grant you a wish
   I'm a genie, not a fish --
Said I, Wow, genie, please marry me...

You should be careful what you wish for
My 'genie' was a fish to her core --
   Always stayed in the ocean
   Knew not wifely devotion --
Go make love to a fish from the shore


                
                 July 26, 2019
 Two Sea-Themed Limericks Poetry Contest
            Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
             Contest Result: N/A


Twin Stars of Big Dipper

Be like arundathi-vashista;
          Single soul adhering two bodies;
  An ideal couple, epitome of the marriage life;
   Travel together in the troubles and strifes;
     says a priest after a marriage ceremony

                  Mizar and Alcor,
               always seen together
   are twin stars of the big dipper constellation,
 Unique twin stars which revolve around each other,
        rotate in synchrony in the sky forever


Note:
In Indian during the marriage ceremonies of the hindus, the priests used to show the twin stars after the marriage and educate the newly married couples about this immortal ideal couple. Now it has just become the ritual without knowing the reasons.
Vashista the vedic sage one of the sapta rishi(Seven Great rishis)married arundathi, an epitome of  wifely devotion, who never wanted to seperate from her husband and stays with him in saptarishi mandala 

Wikipedia:
SaptaRishis, are the seven great sages in Indian Mythology. They have attained a semi-immortal status.Arundhati is the wife of the sage Vashistha, one of the seven sages (Saptarshi) who is identified with the star Alcor which forms a double star with Mizar (identified as Vashista) in Ursa Major

In the most twin stars system, one star is stationary and other rotates around it, while Arundhati and Vashishtha both rotate synchronously.

The Big Dipper or the Plough is an asterism consisting of seven bright stars of the constellation Ursa Major; Mizar is perhaps the Big Dipper’s most famous star, glorified in the annals of astronomy many times over. Apart from Alcor, Mizar in itself became known a double star in 1650. In fact, it was the first double star to be seen through a telescope.Mizar and its fainter companion star Alcor are one of the most famous double stars in the sky

I Am Not My Mother

The most important walk 
Is less then a block
And it
Means forever

A promise made with a long stride 
That I'll always be by your side,
Doing wifely things 
Every day and night

Cause I walked…
Well what if I ran instead
Could I still be held accountable for your happiness
Or what if I skipped 

Even fell or flipped
Would the vow still make sense
It doesn’t matter I guess

I am not my mother
And divorce is just another lover
Found at the wedding dinner or the laundry mat 

In fact
Lets get divorced first and see how that fares 
Maybe will stay together in the end

The Magic Bed

when another (anointed as lady lucky) 
 resident renter bequeathed her bed  
prior to that good samaritan deed thyself and spouse 
   slept on the floor like dogs dead
tired from another day acclimatizing ourselves, 
   especially when tummies got well fed
and grudging adjustment per lying supine upon the carpet 
   did upon arising found aches and pains from head
to toes, yet financial shortcomings disallowed this Jed 
eye wannabe to defer attending domestic chores, 
   cuz ma whole body felt like a Led
Zeppelin, and matter of fact oft times, 
   thy body electric,     
   though lacked no evidence of disease NED
for short, I near felt a need to relearn basic motor skills, 
   gingerly, and eagerly reached for 
   performance enhancing drug i.e. PED
which coded identification 
   exemplified the a rich color of red
this (and other) prescription medication 
   (about a half dozen total found me to sleep akin to a Ted
dee bear, many instances of snoring 
   thine wife claimed emanated – 
   probably no more than when we wed

if memory serves me correctly 
   twenty plus years a husband aye attest
and find peace of body, mind and spirit 
   most exuberant and best
cherished, when hen pecking wife (yup, this husband 
   got pecking, pock, puck size marks 
   to vouchsafe his sworn statement) 
   some visible on my slightly flabby and hairless chest
and if traced with a ball point pen, 
   the shape loosely resembles mount Everest
with evidence of what appears to be erosion, 
   but actually evidence of wifely cannibalism – 
   viz zit on par as with an unwanted guest
which at first found this pop (sic) hull 
   averse to share the same firm mattress lest
she arise like a flesh eating zombie 
   during the wee hours of the morning and taking nest
ling to another level, whereby teeth 
   and scratch marks sure testament asper a pest 
stiff ferrous mate, this husband would sooner bid adieu, 
   letting fate guide  terrestrial quest
that might incorporate undergoing 
   the electric kool aid acid test
perhaps buffeting this corporeal essence north west
or maybe the unforeseen sojourn 
   would spirit thyself to a distant alien nation
one where each day of soundness of mental, physical 
   and spiritual growth will be reason enough 
   to celebrate with élan and zest.


Married To the Tin Man

Rust ate away the Tin Man's heart,
but I never stopped loving.
After abandoning me, who wouldn't
need a wizard's magic to restore
some semblance of feeling?
Loving me was like loving a tin can:
I always had something to offer.
Loving him was no more than loving tin foil:
he crumpled from every wifely demand.

After passion had worn out his iron cock,
he marched into the woods -- as he fled,
my desperate words flung from a resolute mouth
bounced harmlessly off an impenetrable backside.
I cried, threw things, carried on for days,
but nothing flipped the switch in his mind.
[The robot was intent on leaving me.]

So alone as I was, I did not regret my actions:
I sold that bastard's heart to a junkyard. 


This poem appears online at Words are a Need. 
http://wordsareaneed.blogspot.com/2014/07/married-to-tin-man.html
© Kelsey May  Create an image from this poem.

Seductress Queen Viv

If only you knew
about the things I do.
The secret life I live.
By day I'm your wife,
honest and true,
by night I'm 'Seductress Queen Viv '

It's seven a.m.
I make your breakfast again,
just before you go off to work,
I wave you off as you go
and before you know,
my wifely duties I shirk.

I get online and strip in time
for the men who want to pay.
They're all really nice,
pay the price 
and say they want to meet me one day.

So, on go the stockings and
lipstick .... shocking red,
then I do a lap dance 
whilst balancing on my bed.

Some of the men I talk to,
if they want to pay,
I speak in a husky voice
and say what they want me to say.

Uh oh, I hear your car coming up the drive,
off with the stockings 
and as quick as a flash
into  my jeans I dive.

I run to the kitchen 
just as you get out of your car,
as you open the door,
I say with a smile,
'hi hunny,there you are.'

Spouse Took Hiatus Washing Clothes and Dishes

(alternately titled: tongue in cheek humor
cuz the following hyperbole
from this pencil necked baby boomer
without intent to badmouth,
nor start unfounded rumor,
who chalks, i.e. attributes gobbledygook
to funny bone tumor).

Impossible mission maneuvering around
soiled clothes pile
floor to ceiling humongous mound
terse reply hopefully adequately sound
to convincingly doth explain
absent poet buried alive underground,

perhaps never heard and/or found
till 1-800 GOT JUNK uncovered
emaciated (lovely bones)
formerly Matthew Scott Harris
his remnants discovered
visa vis mastercard bloodhound.

No need to fret
(while guitar gently weeps),
just talk to who barkeeps
works long late hours, he oversleeps
thus best track him down,
without uttering peeps
please find out if he knows
anybody reliably housekeeps

maybe lady luck will
thru think magical realism
deliver sophisticated robot
harkening within outer limits
from twilight zone
hookin get the job done
in one fell swoop sweeps.

Meanwhile yours truly
tries to remain upbeat
despite being royally tricked
upon pledging his troth
haint cool wedded bliss
heavily perspiring courtesy ultraheat

smellbound by malodorous laundry
necessitating heavy amount
of clorox to pretreat
which I rather drink,
(and thank president Trump)
for sakes Pete!

Though the misses upholds
voluntarily cooking as wifely role indeed
worth commendable attention, 
I do concede
and doth adequately buzzfeed

her hubby lest he
wither away to lovely bones
(well past due date
late to avoid
above mentioned outcome,

his (mine) corporeal
being well nigh freed,
thus complaint regarding
spindleshanks solved no knead
to strain skinny ankle muscles

and maintain self promise
holy matrimony, cuz
aye know weed
never remain married forever
as initially agreed.

Fickle finger of fate
hath spoken thru smelly
potential Superfund site
perhaps... not amazing how heaping pile
of unwashed laundry can create
ecological hazard, that warrants B44
one bedroom apartment condemned

management understandably irate
to withhold security deposit
nearly four years at Highland Manor
now ready for model
domestic counterpart to debate
with her better angels where to relocate.

Premium Member A Holiday Tale

A commoner King usurps the crown
   Marries a blueblood of royal renown
Drunk as can be, in an imperial mood
   Orders the Queen to appear stark nude
Before his commoner friends, no less
   She refuses, of course, precipitating a mess

The King has the Queen killed
   Then sobers up and isn't too thrilled
At the loss of great beauty
   For just doing his duty
To ensure that every man is king of his castle
   Not subject to wifely disobedience or hassle

So, he holds a beauty contest, and the girl who won
   Won't tell her real name, who she is, where she's from
'Til the day she tells the King that his right-hand man
   Is plotting to kill her, her family and all Jews in all lands

Wicked Haman is hanged, and the Jews skirt disaster
   The Holiday of Purim's today ~ May we never outlast her   



       According to Jewish tradition, the Coming of the 
    Messiah will cancel all Jewish festivals---except Purim.

Premium Member Before They Came

Before They Came

Sitting here with my daughter between my knees, I braid her hair; One by one I place the lucky cowrie shells in her hair. I hear the call and response in my village. The roll was being called. This gathering was different, “the drums tell us we must gather to meet”, as we will have guest to greet.
" Habari-Ghani” -'' What's the news'' The news is, strangers are here, to look for wives, they want to take us away./

The news is, our ways are not their ways, Father says we girls must go away to have a better life. /
                                                                                                                      
 “Your husband died and no one in this village will marry you”: 
My father said;You have also have a daughter, you must think about. 
Father spoke again: I have many other daughters, and I cannot take care of you for life.!/

As I arrived in this new land, My Husband, was not really my husband:
He treated me as a maid with wifely duties. I took care of my daughter
Until she was age fourteen – Then he sent her away.
I cried myself to sleep at nights and dreamed of Africa my home and how things were before  
“THEY CAME”./

Things were fine, right before they came; We had our own way of solving problems.
Sometimes, I would get lost in thoughts that felt so real. It seemed as
I could smell the wood burning on the open fire, I longed to dance in moonlight with my sisters,
I wanted to eat again from coconut Shells; I wanted things to be the same as the were;/
                           Before they came.!
I could smell simmering pots of love cooking. 
The pungent scent of burning wood and coconut shells....
I remember bathing in rivers./
The Joy of weaving our love in baskets.
It has been Five-hundred years, and I am still here in this new land, holding onto memories of sun filled oceans./
Trying hard to hold onto the times of happiness...Before they came. These things are deeply embedded “Mamas Laughter”,” grandmother’s wisdom” by blood, these things came with me on this journey./
For dear life I am holding on to our ways, unashamed, I long for my African life, my culture, and my happiness....” Before they came”!

Dysfunctional Dish-Functional

when I was married some years ago,
my wife then thought, for some reason
that she was the boss
and I was there for wifely pleas'in
she sleep late everyday, was truely much too lazy
she'd order me to do so many things,
I swear I'd be sure to proove
this lady was d_mn crazy...
I was not allowed any money
certainly not for cigarettes or beer
this seemed to me a little funny
it seemed a little *****

one day she ordered me to do the dishes
after I been ordered to cook the meal,
it seemed to me she was goin' too far'
it seemed just so unreal...
so while she laid in bed munching chips
she was sure I'd do the dishes
she was sure I'd obey her wishes
if I ever wanted to "kipse her luby rips"

well, I may not be so bright,
I may not be so brave,
but, put my hands in dishwater?
I'd rather dig myself a grave...

I told her to buzz off...
and do them all herself!
I mean, I had just done the cooking...
what'd she think?  I was the cobbler's elf?

well, we one day parted ways,
and some wonder if these I might miss,
I said- "you mean those miserable old days?
I'd rather bathe in piss!!"
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Absence of Time

Cathartic tea, steaming under our noses,
away from the suffering of grown-children woes,
and wifely duties. Just hanging together - best friends.

rooibos - red bush tea
releases the tongue’s anguish
~ red lips turn upwards

Hearts bond over chicken salad, stuffed with
whirligigs of grapes and nuts, and giggles.

tea-fingers, wholesome
bite of little sandwiches
~ the crust left behind

settled in for hours of conversation - just how
this happens, only God knows. He made us
girls this way. Men just eat and stare, but
our lady chat never never ends. The clock taps
fingernail seconds, but we totally ignore, for
the precious absence of time, where we sip
on endless tea and release all the sadness,
embrace the joy, of seasonal bliss, steeped
in immaculate flavor, that life gives girlfriends.

glossy fingernails
pointing, tapping, red-happy
~ teas good to last sip

10/24/2017

Schwenksville Pennsylvania

Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
Earthdate/starttime: 11/04/19 01:10:26 AM
Earthdate/endtime: 11/04/19 02:55:46 AM

Poetic snapshot regarding immediate
actual, physical, spatial... environment
pertinent, relevant, salient... yours truly
commenced within fleeting electronic

date/time stamp indicated above bereft
attempts to describe character sketch,
whereat I sit within Apartment B44:
taking immediate lock, stock & barrel

ordinary repeated situation witnessing
garden variety *****sapien imbibing
familiar scenario, while spouse sleeps
near proximity, CPAP machine regulates

continuous positive airway pressure
offsetting sleep apnea breathe more so
she can breathe free and clear preventing
airway from collapsing when she inhales.

Nothing particularly spectacular wee hour
this ordinary moment beckoned, challenged
decided... attempt to focus (laser like) sense
and sensibility without pride, nor prejudice
essentially simply worded still life repeated
predictably, & regularity glossed over other
instances finding impetus preying upon pro-

fun ditties, and expansive vocabulary unsure
communicated printed idea understandable
aware some readers disinclined wading thru
thicket (quagmire) of verbiage, hence eureka
experience to corral immediate circumstance
(think Will Rogers' 140th birthday his home
spun extemporaneous anecdotal nuggets.)

Many occasions embarking upon complexity
aspire to elaborate intricate worded webbed
(wide aye bother) complex edifice ambitious
invariably confounding unsuspecting readers
suddenly sinking within quicksand helpless

against salvation, hence painstaking effort
to asseverate downplaying sesquipedalian
rather toning down syllabification sharing
trumpeting, undulating humdrum existence
verily reporting sleeping on floor - courtesy
restless leg syndrome, which affects the mrs.

Marriage basically no match heavenly made,
nonetheless dynamic linkedin travails values
wifely attentiveness to prepare unrecognized
frying object (best described as pop slop), +

she tends other domestic chore, viz washing
soiled clothes nsync of kitchen, whiling away
(think dervish) stoking chaos within invisible
re: nearly infinitesimal speck within Milkyway.

July 25th, 1996 Tied the Gordian Knot

July 25th, 1996 tied the Gordian knot,...
(I spent noose cents)
begot deux daughters, the major events
both since flew cuckoo's nest,
the eldest angry at papa for offense

sieve behavior fatherly bond
forever sundered permanent rents
unforgiving progeny vents
bile, explosive vitriol whence...

Aye yen for bachelorhood every
now and again doth mildly abate
after saying "I do...,"
when axed by justice of peace

nearly two dozen years wedded
bull hissing, rest assured
I will abbreviate
encapsulate, fulminate, narrate...

and forthrightly admit,
yours truly oft times
yearned to abdicate
spousal unbridled warfare and injustice

reason enough to abnegate
null and void husbandry role
ex post facto finding thyself
questioning pledging troth even

Frosty the snowman would abominate
to say "screw this -
marriage nut for me"
bolt in a huff boot (dang)

ne'er did absquatulate
altercations that adhere
to rule of physics
and tended to accelerate

as muzzled, neigh saying saddled
former groom did
lament and accentuate
his physical needs,

she did not accommodate,
cuz this solitary soul
(with good n plenti horse sense),
never did fully acculturate

with female species,
one whose blunt cold front
seemed to accumulate growing
gripe list bestowed courtesy this mate

tit for tat wrathful pitiless,
(not so cherry) feedback unmatched
within annotated coupled courtship of fools,
this scrivener with steely

iron maiden breastplate,
nonetheless did rack up and accumulate
battle scars hitting bullseye,
since donned with

corrective vision spectacles
hen pecking, needling termagant
untameable shrew did acerate
(worse fate than death -

validated by grim reaper)
avowed covenant thru torturous years
exponentially punishing innocent soul
(slightly biased) did acervate

popping one after
another over the counter acetylsalicylate,
no ampule adequate
to relieve permanent suffering,
thus lifetime electric shock treatment,

nsync quaffing prescription
kool aid battery acidulate
ineffective to activate
palliative, and restore

liberty (yeah) sense and sensibility
subsequently providing freedom
against further wifely scourges
whereby Doctor Phil Ander

refused to adjudicate,
perhaps understandable why I advocate
selfless mercy killing (euthanasia)
for this urbane country bumpkin.

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