The Magic Bed

when another (anointed as lady lucky) resident renter bequeathed her bed prior to that good samaritan deed thyself and spouse slept on the floor like dogs dead tired from another day acclimatizing ourselves, especially when tummies got well fed and grudging adjustment per lying supine upon the carpet did upon arising found aches and pains from head to toes, yet financial shortcomings disallowed this Jed eye wannabe to defer attending domestic chores, cuz ma whole body felt like a Led Zeppelin, and matter of fact oft times, thy body electric, though lacked no evidence of disease NED for short, I near felt a need to relearn basic motor skills, gingerly, and eagerly reached for performance enhancing drug i.e. PED which coded identification exemplified the a rich color of red this (and other) prescription medication (about a half dozen total found me to sleep akin to a Ted dee bear, many instances of snoring thine wife claimed emanated – probably no more than when we wed if memory serves me correctly twenty plus years a husband aye attest and find peace of body, mind and spirit most exuberant and best cherished, when hen pecking wife (yup, this husband got pecking, pock, puck size marks to vouchsafe his sworn statement) some visible on my slightly flabby and hairless chest and if traced with a ball point pen, the shape loosely resembles mount Everest with evidence of what appears to be erosion, but actually evidence of wifely cannibalism – viz zit on par as with an unwanted guest which at first found this pop (sic) hull averse to share the same firm mattress lest she arise like a flesh eating zombie during the wee hours of the morning and taking nest ling to another level, whereby teeth and scratch marks sure testament asper a pest stiff ferrous mate, this husband would sooner bid adieu, letting fate guide terrestrial quest that might incorporate undergoing the electric kool aid acid test perhaps buffeting this corporeal essence north west or maybe the unforeseen sojourn would spirit thyself to a distant alien nation one where each day of soundness of mental, physical and spiritual growth will be reason enough to celebrate with élan and zest.