July 25th, 1996 Tied the Gordian Knot

July 25th, 1996 tied the Gordian knot,... (I spent noose cents) begot deux daughters, the major events both since flew cuckoo's nest, the eldest angry at papa for offense sieve behavior fatherly bond forever sundered permanent rents unforgiving progeny vents bile, explosive vitriol whence... Aye yen for bachelorhood every now and again doth mildly abate after saying "I do...," when axed by justice of peace nearly two dozen years wedded bull hissing, rest assured I will abbreviate encapsulate, fulminate, narrate... and forthrightly admit, yours truly oft times yearned to abdicate spousal unbridled warfare and injustice reason enough to abnegate null and void husbandry role ex post facto finding thyself questioning pledging troth even Frosty the snowman would abominate to say "screw this - marriage nut for me" bolt in a huff boot (dang) ne'er did absquatulate altercations that adhere to rule of physics and tended to accelerate as muzzled, neigh saying saddled former groom did lament and accentuate his physical needs, she did not accommodate, cuz this solitary soul (with good n plenti horse sense), never did fully acculturate with female species, one whose blunt cold front seemed to accumulate growing gripe list bestowed courtesy this mate tit for tat wrathful pitiless, (not so cherry) feedback unmatched within annotated coupled courtship of fools, this scrivener with steely iron maiden breastplate, nonetheless did rack up and accumulate battle scars hitting bullseye, since donned with corrective vision spectacles hen pecking, needling termagant untameable shrew did acerate (worse fate than death - validated by grim reaper) avowed covenant thru torturous years exponentially punishing innocent soul (slightly biased) did acervate popping one after another over the counter acetylsalicylate, no ampule adequate to relieve permanent suffering, thus lifetime electric shock treatment, nsync quaffing prescription kool aid battery acidulate ineffective to activate palliative, and restore liberty (yeah) sense and sensibility subsequently providing freedom against further wifely scourges whereby Doctor Phil Ander refused to adjudicate, perhaps understandable why I advocate selfless mercy killing (euthanasia) for this urbane country bumpkin.