Best Underwear Poems

I am a super hero
In my batman underwear
No villain would ever cross me
They simply wouldn't dare

I used to be a Superman
But they somehow got a hole
It had to be some kryptonite
Just saying, so you'll know

I was even the Lone Ranger
Back when I was three
But mom...

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I shuddered at a voice so pure  
it moved my eyes to tears,
the music grew to fill my chest,
and satiate my ears

and then I shook, a man possessed,
cavortin' 'cross the floor,
collapsing in a sweaty heap,
for I could bear no more!

Like an ol' time tent...

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Soft, pink satin,
Baby blue with lace.
Underwear, underwear every place.

Hot red silk
Plain white cotton
Underwear here even I had forgotten.

Black and slinky,
Is that a thong?
Underwear like that almost seems wrong.

Blue with Purple polka dots
Roses scattered over lime.
Underwear like that could never,  ever be mine!...

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I
change my name 
like 
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose

I 
change my clothes 
like 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

I 
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or 
ketchup on my attire

I 
got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
and 
that's an effing lot
because i got my...

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There was a cold man from Connecticut
whose hygiene showed he didn't know etiquette 
if he'd left me alone
he'd still have his own bone
That cold hearted blighter from Connecticut....

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If you sit tight, and promise not to spite
I will tell you a story, when I was not in my glory
grade one, a new chapter
who knew my teacher would be a captor?
that’s right! I said it!
a washroom run, she did not permit
there I stood
as still...

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Well here's another story
That I'd really like to share
It's about the first invention
Of a thing called underwear

Invented by one of my kinfolks
A man that the bible calls Adam
It caught on pretty quickly too
Cause pert near everybody had'em

I'll bet you didn't know it 
But Adam was...

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a parody on song "Winter Wonderland"- inspired by my winter alone in an 
unheated house.

"Come away, I am threadbare
Snow is falling....
Where there' be hair..

A cold-as_sed dam_  night
It's really a fright
Walkin' in my winter underwear..

Butt-cheeks gleaming
Through the holes, near the seaming
A nasty cold a_s,
My skin...

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National Underwear Day

So it's National underwear day
I haven't got that much to say
Except pull up your pants
I can tell at a glance
Your national pride on display

I see that you’re playing along
I see that you wore a red thong
I see and I cringe
Come completely unhinged
I see...

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Mom: 
"Make sure that you're wearing clean underwear
in case you get into an accident one day".
Me:
"..but Mom, if I were in an accident
I'd probably soil myself anyway."...

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"Mum have I got any clean boxer shorts? 
My son shouted from on the stairs,
He was standing so I couldn't see him,
I didn't know his backside was bare.
I got up to go and get some,
From the clean washing pile,
He yelled "Mum I'm naked!
I just gave...

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I shuddered at a voice so pure  
it moved my eyes to tears,
the music grew to fill my chest,
and satiate my ears

and then I shook, a man possessed,
cavortin' 'cross the floor,
collapsing in a sweaty heap,
for I could bear no more!

Like an ol' time tent...

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They cry for your vote,
So go in your underwear, 
forty percent won't....

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Underwear so varied
Unpublished, well, not now
Unconcealed, all can view
Uncovered, unashamed
Unblushing for the world
Unfurled, unblocked designs
Unchaste attitude girls  

And boys/men

Online syllable counter
1Underwear so varied 6
2Unpublished, well, not now 6
3Unconcealed, all can view 6
4Uncovered, unashamed 6
5Unblushing for the world 6
6Unfurled, unblocked designs 6
7Unchaste attitude girls 6



Contest:...

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Wrote one a while ago about the changing times
This one's about changing underwear preventing crime
You can tell when strangers
Are aware of the dangers
Wearing gas masks to avoid human race decline!...

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