Best Thrower Poems
FRED
Fred the farmer he bought a new tractor
The milk maid he wanted to attract her
He said you wanna ride
So she jumped in beside
Said tis slow can't it go any faster .
SAUL
In ancient times the killer Saul Porters
Was better known as the 'beast who slaughters'
Folks heard a victim shout
Saul was seized and knocked out
They hung him and cut him into quarters.
JOHNNY
An old gunmaker called Johnny Aled
Was testing one of his guns in his shed
The firing pin jamned
He said I'll be dammed
Shook the barell and it blew off his head.
CHARLES
A two timer by the name of Charles Fring
Was with a hooker in bed doing their thing
Thought he'd switched off his phone
Then heard screams and a moan
Twas still on and his wife heard everything.
MING SO
A hammer thrower from China, Ming So
At the games it was her turn to throw
She swung it around
Her feet left the ground
With excitement she'd forgot to let go.
RANDY MONK
There was a randy old monk from Biscay
With others wives liked to romp in the hay
With a smile and a grin
Said free loves not a sin
His Abbot didn't quite see it that way.
WOODCUTTER
There was a woodcutter from Tralee
Showed no mercy when hacking a tree
But the tree fought back
And in the attack
Broke his jaw, lower back and left knee.
TRAPPER
Into the woods he went hunting for bear
By sheer bad luck disturbed a grizzlys lair
Ran down the hill in fear
Smell of bear was quite near
Caught his foot in another trappers snare.
Written 25th August 2019.
7/20/19
"I'll be your Joker"
Still a registered voter
Signed up to be an organ donor
And finally became a car owner
I rarely use a controller
When it's time, I'll man up and buy a stroller
As well as panels that are solar
Near and far from areas that are polar
Doesn't matter if I ever get a Range Rover
Or Roadster
I'm barely ever sober
Always been a loner
And stoner
3 months away from another October
If you want to be my Harley Quinn, I'll be your "Joker"
Not no poser
Where are you Scully? This is agent Mulder
Anytime you want, I'll be your shoulder
To lean on
From here to way beyond
For eons
Where's my Marge? I am Homer
I'll be your rock over and over
Since I've gotten nobler
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I've seen it so much, I could compile a folder
Life's one giant rollercoaster
It's really revving my motor
All these women giving me a b***r
And then the cold shoulder
As if I am an ogre
I remain a soldier
Drinking high end coffee, no more Folgers
Getting wiser and older
Becoming bolder
As the world gets colder
I'm not feeling dolor
Just multi tasking, while a fire continues to smoulder
Maintaining my composure
Finding closure
Getting closer
To greatness instead of being mediocre
I enjoyed the work I did with several growers
As well as trapping some gophers
Occasionally I'll partake in poker
Even though I'm not the best hoaxer
Once or twice I used a fire stoker
When it came to Mary Jane, I was a doter
A fan of it's fragrance, it's not what I'd call an odor
I consume some products made by Clover
And am usually in places considered remoter
It's time I get a toaster and holster
I don't really need a Flame Thrower
Or to get my face on a most wanted poster
Suit yourself if you want to wear a boater
Or choker
Houses in continual foreclosure
Not always wise to go for the price that is lower
Someday my mind and body will be slower
And one day it'll all be over
10-4 over and out
And now you know, what i'm really about
Not just by word of mouth
As they say don't look a gift horse in the mouth
Regardless of if you had your doubts
By: Dalton Ogletree
A funny thing happened under the big top
Heard a great ruckus and decided to stop
Stuck in my head and a commotion rages
I saw animals free and people in cages
The hippos were on the flying trapeze
And the mini circus had lost all of its fleas
The monkeys are playing the part of the clowns
Throwing pies and chasing the children around
The gorilla is the hairy lady and the strong man
He is also the knife thrower and the juggler just because he can
Over there I hear the goats who are bleating
For they are swallowing swords and fire eating
You may think this is a joke
I see the giraffe way up on the tightrope
Another thing that is out of the norm
Is the zebra up on the high diving platform
The bears are on horses doing the trick riding
I see lions with bullwhips and the ringmaster is hiding
And just when I think I have seen it all
The elephant is now the human cannonball
You may think this leaves us sad
Or perhaps it makes people mad
It's the end of the circus you may fear
But for me I cant wait for the show next year
It seems like you're losing your touch
Others might even see it,
and wouldn't think much
But I know better,
better than most
I saw your hand trembling
holding the knife,
when you were spreading jam on your toast
That's bad, real bad for you
And it sure ain't good for me
I'm the target when the curtain rises,
it's me who risks getting a fatal injury
You're a knife thrower,
you've been the best for a long time
You've been a top carnival attraction
Everywhere we go,
you bring out the long lines
But I caught you slipping,
a slight hesitation yesterday
When you got my life in your hands,
that's not something where I can
just look the other way
If something is wrong with your nerves,
it's gonna make me start losing my nerve
It's me out there staring death in the eye,
why don't you put yourself in my shoes, go give it a try
Let me be the one letting those knives fly,
yeah, how does it feel seeing death whizzing by
I don't think today is a good day for me to die
You're a knife thrower,
you've been the best for a very long time
But seeing that small tremor
has really been laying heavy on my mind
I caught you slipping,
now I'm afraid to perform for the next show
Don't want it to be the last time I close my eyes
when you let the next knife go
I once tried to burn Day Light
But found she was not flammable
So I decided to try Twi Light
Not a chance...Twi just laughed at me
and Day smirked, snickered and pointed
Which REALLY burned me up...
'Try burning Night Time,’ Twi suggested
(No way! Burn me once? Flame on you
Burn me twice? Flame on-on...ME I think)
‘There’s no need to be aflamed my man’
(Aw shucks...Thanks! Any chance y’all are sisters?)
‘Aw shucks...You’re welcome! Yep, Sisters of the Sun'
‘The Moon is a cousin but we don‘t stay in touch‘
(If it‘s not too personal, might I ask why?)
‘No heat! Also, He‘s been manipulating the tides
Sister Sun even threatened to burn His Dark Side'
(Did he relent and resume his proper orbit?)
‘HELL no! Now She’s confused and feeling the heat
As a result, we’re getting REALLY weird sunsets’
(Really? Well I’ll be a sun of a sunset!)
'SO, You wanna burn Night Time or what?’
(Yeah, but I’d prefer burning Day Light
There’s this contest on Poetry Soup
and the theme is Burning Daylight)
‘Nope, Night Time or go down in flames’
(Well, how shall I Set the Night on Fire?)
‘You’re plagiarizing...The Doors did that’
(Not familiar with that I’m afraid)
'Geez! Come On Baby Light My Fire??
Try to set the night on FIRE!! Got it?
(Ah...So I’ll be needing a Baby then
and how can a Baby light a fire anyway?)
'(Sigh) So here’s what you’re gonna need...
A flame thrower and some gasoline’
(Got it! I’m sure burned up about this!)
'Pssst...Sis, I’m certain he meant FIRED up’
*The consequences were devastating
I set a pine tree on fire in my yard
which of course, spread to the nearby forest
and then, to my utter shock and horror
the entire neighborhood was consumed!
Thankfully, everyone got out alive...
**Jail-time and numerous lawsuits followed
SOMEHOW, I managed to burn all my bridges
but didn’t quite make it off the last bridge
which really burned my ass...
Submitted for the contest 'Burning Daylight' sponsored by John Lawless
NO MORE LOVE POEM
“”..... Ander her picture when she cut her wrists and so the kid saw the picture and his prick went Whoop Whoop Whoop,,,”
- Trantino. The Great Blafigria Is.
“ … For I dream I know not how¡
And my soul is sorely shaken
Lest an evil step be taken,-
Lest the dead who is forsaken
May not be happy now.”
-The Bridal Ballad. Edgar Allan Poe
Please Stop.
I don’t want falling in Love
& being pretty smart
O mamma mia.
When the Train is Gone
I thrower in motion:
I don’t hit the nail on the head¡
I’m going wild against the Wall
Slap-up meal.
My brain’s been ****ed
When yr love is come
Toot toot
Damn ***** ate my dog.
Then haemin’s yr Ass:
Love is a silly thing
Fancying that
All over the place
And to die
Of a broken Heart, ja, ja ja.
Hey captain¡ Hey captain¡
My arm chaplain is incapable.
Hey Captain¡ Hey Captain¡
I think we’re gonna cum
In the twinkling of an eye:
The end of the love
Lies inside you¡
Do you know Do you see:
All lovers are Rapier pigs
bastard Gentlemen of rape
Looking out at all rissoles
In the churches’ streets
& saying:
” let me darkle
Or let me daze”.
With Langston Huges’ motto
As we live and learn:
“Dig and be dug
In return”
No more Love Poem
Darkly Vampire.
Carry me to Yr Black Ritual
Of bloody Love
Leaning lip-poised.
We tremble to receive
The darkly ****ing Eucharistic
To touch Perceive
Touch Explore
And yet with utmost Sinful care
Slide Melt
Devour.
The *****Cock
And Chicken
In the head of lustful night
Carry me.
Fall, she dresses down, while
winter prepares for its rest.
Summer wears her greenest gown,
but never, ever wears a frown.
Winter can get grumpy;
if awakened, he’ll spit ice;
for he is a tantrum thrower,
of quite the ugliest kind.
Fall, she is an artist;
her palette’s full of reds, browns
and golden pigments;
her work’s outdone only
by springs color wheel, so fast.
Fall is rarely grumpy
and spring so rarely frumpy.
Winter plays unfairly;
imprisons spring within its alley.
When spring escapes,
she celebrates,
with colors mighty bold;
her time is up when summer,
comes in from the biting cold.
The seasons live such finite lives;
they take their piece of life’s sweet pie.
When they’re done with all their fun,
they make way, for the next one.
sun rises
hot flashes all night
my flame thrower
"Aaagh", a yelp for help pierces the air.
I rush in my underwear to stop and stare.
For there in the empty bath, he sits and laughs, ha ha ha.
Here the battle must commence.
It's scary hairy legs vs hairy scary legs
The victor free to roam the home
The loser sit alone and moan
"Stand clear my dear for I am here"
"This mighty beast shall be slain to never again cause you pain"
Me vs the spider, the fear rising inside us
Then subsiding as it turns to heightened focus.
Me vs you, 8 legs vs 2
Both of us clueless as to who will make a move.
Without much of a plan, I scan the bathroom shelves.
For a weapon to arm or defend myself.
"Understand this Mr Arachnid, your fate is imminent"
But the implement of torture is something I am short of.
Perhaps I'll go with water
The surest form of death I suggest,
Is one by shower head and yet
He sits precariously close to the hose as he knows this.
As soon as I choose to remove the head,
From its little metal bed
A flash of black has climbed the rail,
Causing me to jump and wail.
Sweat pouring from my glands
My nemesis has the upper hands
He's covered all the bases
My plan to eliminate his status, wasted.
With wounded pride and morale never lower.
There is only one choice
"Dear, fetch me the flame thrower"
La fille dans mes rêves
(french title)
For why do I exist?
If love only exists in my dream
And for why do I breathe?
If you exist not at all
Shattered Ghost, hiding in the black of night
Blinded by love, frightened to a cold death
Blood flows into the seine
The knife thrower flirts with her heart
Like flames dancing on cathedral steeples
The pain falls from the clouds, they call it black rain
Demons and gargoyles staring into the night
Lovers walking by, unaware of the fright
Love will soon become the knife
Death will become the red rose upon the breast
Unforgettable
In an unmarked grave
Mon Paris
A Collaboration between Arthur Vaso and Wardha Malik
Wham bam
thank you ma’am.
This is a slam
and slam I am.
First and formost
I DON’T like your name.
I live in Pee Dee.
How can I slam someone
who has the name of my home.
Nope, I’ll just have to call you
Dis-strower, because you’re
no destroyer, just a dis thrower.
Actually I think you are a wuss
who just pretends
to go off the deepest of the deep ends,
so deep I get the bends
just from reading your fuss.
If you want to strow some of that stuff
my way I’m here any day.
I’ve got you covered.
Just roll those snake eyes
and I’ll throw them back at you,
Full of hypnosis and lobototosis.
Girlfriend, you’ll think you’re brain dead.
That hurtful dirt you normally spread
will clump up right behind your eyes.
You wont be able to see
any of those trashy words.
You’ll think you have verbal lock jaw.
You’ll be outgunned in the raw,
in a snowstorm of inuendo,
pseudo cyber ju jit su,
combined with verbal ka-ra-tayyyyy.
Come on girl, Charles is here todayyyyy
ready to dance on your playyyy.
savvayyy???
© Jul 16 2010 Charles Henderson for PD’s “slam” contest
I’m thinking - inking words across the page - age, and rage in season, shouldn’t reason
against the curiosity of hope – “ope thy heart to know What rainbows teach and sunsets
show? ”- owe Emerson a debt, for inspiration (though a bit cliché) – Hey, sometimes truth
is better stoned – owned or not – ought to bring release to the thrower – owe her no more
than time and place – Just stand - and face the chatter from her heart – Art.
dermatologist
flame thrower on steroids....
pain
Speechless
Unstable
so now I'm off popping more antidepressants
after jonesing for the truth
so glad someone
anyone could offer me reality
that I'm truly
seriously
deluded and misunderstood
and now i know there is nothing i can say
Oh sinead
what does the con man sing to the bones of metaphors in the soup fiasco
about belligerence and brutality and psychological abuse
is it me
is it me can anyone here this plea
The pearls Jam the gates
oh my king throwing flames from his mouth
what can i say what can i say to Jeremy when he speaks in class?
i have no comment just the delusion
i am unstable
but intoxication of another
love note from you and broken homes is all i really need to spoil my therapy
Fred is Limp
The bizkit has me in a Full nelson
and if you listen closely to the words of wisdom to the new aged nuns of wood
stock 98
you will see the revolution spinning full blast
but the hippies are Jonesing flamethrower
the wars of winters are cold and frozen
take this Will I Am
and realize the place inside the fire
is something
something for you
for my rights in my living room
and the king i am
of plajerised words and themes
I am no saint so whats my name
and isn't it sad to know life is more than who we are and know
oh flame thrower
i don't know what to say
but hush your temper tantrum and pay attention for this Will I Am
finds That Mr Jones
has inspired me to say
steal the rythym while you can
and i know the pieces fit
so enjoy the schism
and flame thrower
everyone knows i am the liar
ask Mrs O'connor
ask Mr Durst
ask wuts under rug swept and rediscover
the place within the fire
the mighty bees came out of the walls with weird attitude
they entered the infant which ended up well-baked.
all the bubblegum streets suddenly turned ice-cold
but meanwhile everyone sleeps and blood’s being sucked.
it’s been proven that the father is younger than the son
and that he threw him out of home before he was born.
the magnitude of the giant mantis invasion was outstanding
the torches, the flags and pink gas masks were no joke.
a never ending nightmare runs through the kitchen
through every chimney and sandbox in the neighbourhood.
the water clock on the east wall kept spinning around
we extinguished it with our sad moaning flame thrower.
every kind of vice needs a different kind of spice
as we heard it from a one-armed man with seven heads.
showing some manners in front of the oncoming train
there’s no mercy nor dignity in drooling western faces.
the future year has already ended before it could start
and there’s absolutely everything we could do about it.
there were families and clans that were safely averted
by sisters killing the mothers that killed their daughters.
and we’re still standing in every bathroom in every house
on top of each mountain and at the border of every world.
it seems like it goes on and on and on and on and on
and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
ad non nad on no dan do ann na nod da onn .....