A Bit of Mid Week Humour

FRED Fred the farmer he bought a new tractor The milk maid he wanted to attract her He said you wanna ride So she jumped in beside Said tis slow can't it go any faster . SAUL In ancient times the killer Saul Porters Was better known as the 'beast who slaughters' Folks heard a victim shout Saul was seized and knocked out They hung him and cut him into quarters. JOHNNY An old gunmaker called Johnny Aled Was testing one of his guns in his shed The firing pin jamned He said I'll be dammed Shook the barell and it blew off his head. CHARLES A two timer by the name of Charles Fring Was with a hooker in bed doing their thing Thought he'd switched off his phone Then heard screams and a moan Twas still on and his wife heard everything. MING SO A hammer thrower from China, Ming So At the games it was her turn to throw She swung it around Her feet left the ground With excitement she'd forgot to let go. RANDY MONK There was a randy old monk from Biscay With others wives liked to romp in the hay With a smile and a grin Said free loves not a sin His Abbot didn't quite see it that way. WOODCUTTER There was a woodcutter from Tralee Showed no mercy when hacking a tree But the tree fought back And in the attack Broke his jaw, lower back and left knee. TRAPPER Into the woods he went hunting for bear By sheer bad luck disturbed a grizzlys lair Ran down the hill in fear Smell of bear was quite near Caught his foot in another trappers snare. Written 25th August 2019.