Best Tax Free Poems
Five Tomatoes Away
Five tomatoes away
from devastation.
The bullies bully me.
They give big breaks to
corporations-While taking
unfair shares from citizens
and cutting down on
pensions and "Social Security".
I have no security!
The Arabs store on
the corner is
selling wine, beer and
cigarettes.
Sending their tax free
money home to
fight against our boys.
His taxes are
deferred, and when
time comes to pay
The business is now
switched into his cousin’s name.
One tomato is two dollars...
so I am five tomatoes away,
and I haven't had a salad today. I
am being raped, while they
are getting breaks.
I get reprimanded
severely, they are always
Shaking my tree.
I said "I have no money"
I am not living here tax free.
The levy goes
into effect on the
thirtieth day, so
I budget sparingly,
and have had no
salad today;
I am five tomatoes
away, from homelessness
and devastation;
I wish I had a break like the big
corporations
One day before
I leave this planet I hope to
find dignity.
And eat a Salad everyday
and live life healthily
never again
having to worry
about being
Five Tomatoes away.
Getting old around
here is horrible;
My senior years
unpleasant....
I paid my dues to the
I.R.S., now they
want another present.
I hope to survive
another day, while
they tax my pension;
And so, I pray....
let me eat
another salad, in spite
of being ....
Five Tomatoes Away!
So yes, I've had no tomatoes,
I've had no tomatoes today.!
Only two things are certain in life,
death and taxes
You can cheat one,
but you can't cheat the other
Ooh, what would a person give to live
They would give everything ... and more,
if it was possible
I bet some wish
that the Grim reaper was the tax man
Then they could seek shelter from death
with a graduated tax-rate insurance plan
Strike a bargain for longevity,
then pass through the inheritance tax loopholes
Grease the Reaper's palms a little bit,
it would put a lot of cold water on those hot coals
When death is biting you in the butt,
guess what ...
you're gonna pay the tax man
his fair cut
So pony up
There's only two things
you need worry 'bout friend-o:
Death and taxes
Those two things are certain, for sure
The only two questions are:
which one gets paid first,
and where are you gonna go?
Will it be a tax-free trip to heaven on resurrection day,
or the tax trapdoor down to hell below
And that door
is sealed tight with no hedge fund window
A dry peninsula without internal flowing waters
anointed with the ointment of incredible prosperity
massaged by the fat hands of uncommon wealth
and covered by tight-fitting over-alls,
made out of an expanding economic might.
One of its regions has been so globally popularized,
ousted the bench-marks of global prides time and time again
from its fleet of speeders dedicated to its agents of the law
to the breath-taking amusement park which is second to none.
Is it the driver-less and longest fully automated metro network?
Or the raised shoulders of the princess tower and the marina?
These are the starting point of a majestic economic run.
Does excellently well in showcasing its power and might,
commanding the hearts of men to its irresistible attraction.
The Burj Khalifa and manmade Islands;
J W Marriott Marquis and the world’s most inclined building,
are among others to cherish and to admire.
On the way coming among many others
are the masdar city and prestigious museums
with a tax free income, a cheap and accessible fuel
it’s not surprising internationals and expatriates
outnumber the actual citizens eleven to one.
Wealth from underground is its glory,
bordering the large waters is its fortune,
the display of its ability is its honour,
diversifying the sources of its coins is its wisdom.
Opening up to the world to lessen a conservative view
is its ultimate gain.
Longevity dreamers don’t wanna
deal with me
I’m short straw bad for good health
Liquidators that are paid handsomely
to handle the hazard,
don’t quite make it home safely
after coming in direct contact with me
Material perks comes with a radioactive
buyers remorse poisoning penalty
Emergency workers sub-contracted to die,
get an all-expenses-paid funeral tax-free
Courtesy of government policy
Four lethal isotopes, I possess
Brief exposure can be genetic deadly,
even if you’re wearing a protective, cobalt-lined suit
Come any DNA closer to me,
and your uranium saturated body will receive
a guaranteed morgue visit, very shortly
Got four jellyfish gaseous tentacles
that’s gon beta burn sting
Two thyroid growth-stunting twins:
caesium-134 and 137
will double date you
with a mutating embrace extra finger eleven
Along with strontium-90
and iodine-131
These four cancer flirts are sure to give body hurt:
acute radiation ... grab the suicide gun
Extending invitations for a half-life
Party over
before the sunset get golden twilight
Radionuclides will get daydreamers sober,
as the mortality music stops at midnight
When I get under the skin,
epidermiological odds are,
your whole life is gonna get cut short
So don’t hold your breath,
half of nothing is all you got left
Peace
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.”
~ Attributed to Francis of Assisi
How many years
Of Sunday sermons taught me
How easily
I can get away with it all
How terribly unfortunate
Some Jew took the hit
How comfortable
My soul and how
Small
O God
Why not indulge me
Can’t I be so bloated
I’ll support the dropping of bombs
On third-world rejects
So I can afford to drive a vehicle
Big enough I can drag into it my
Weighty carcass
Can’t I be so busy so drunk so drugged
I’ll never have to know
About anything regrettable
Can’t I amass a fortune
Skim off a soup of hedge funds
Leave a world of debt
What money’s left in foreign accounts
Tax free
But hey there’s still sales tax
Isn’t there
Racial superiority
Can’t I speak in ebonics to prove
Ebony rules
Can’t I don white sheets to prove
White’s better
Can’t I evade the border patrol to prove
Medical help’s free
Who’ll they follow back
To Tijuana
To remorse
To the cross
To alt.sex.bondage
Not me
How many years
Of indifference taught me
The usefulness of
Looking aside
Giving up
Coolness
No worries
Peace
~Thanks Always Returns
Ask not what your country can do for you,
don’t question whether your nation will bleed
red, white and blue true
Tax bleed thru and thru for you
Ask instead what good sacrifice will you offer to do
Will you take a kitchen knife
and split your chubby checkbook in two?
Do you see stars as you bleed,
do the ruddy stripes
make you wanna faint from the sight?
A deep tax cut is always good
for economic recovery cash flow
The richer be your investment capital,
the more dividend treasures
come raining thru your bank teller window
The poorer be your homestead financial,
the money drought
will withering cut your cash crop growth
Another deep tax cut
will surely good knife me
into permanent I.V. poverty
What’s good for the goose
running the government,
is taking a grave gander out of me
What can I do in service for my country?
Labor for more slave pay that ain’t tax-free
Well I live in magnificent splendour
I am honoured wherever I go
I sit in my ivory tower
And pass judgement on all those below
I criticise government actions
Though nobody elected me
I always want more and I cadge from the poor
My organisations tax-free
I criticised all bankers bonus
Shout for more equal shares of the pot
In reality we are far richer
And what’s more were keeping the lot
I preach that we are all equal
And demand laws that heed what I say
But I’m just a snob for your barred from top job
If you’re female or worse still your gay
Who am I? Have I got you guessing?
Well believe me I have no remorse
For the habit I have of cross-dressing
I am an Archbishop of course!!!!!!!!!!
Say bye-bye to these:
"Hold, please." (Hold what?)
Typewriter Repairman Ads
"Dial this number..." (What's 'dial?')
Down-time... Offline
Compliments (Complaint Departments have swallowed them up).
"Mail me your resume."
Shame, and its cousin, Guilt
Pay Phones and Phone Booths (Sorry, Superman)
Cash (esp. pennies)
"How do you do?" (How do I what?!)
"Chick," "Piece," "Stacked," "Hot Number"
The Debt Ceiling
Brown Suits
Brown Fedoras
White Bread
White Big-City Mayors (in the USA)
Math Facts
Grammar & Grammar Schools
Heroes
Good Samaritans
Public Drinking Fountains (except for dogs and cats)
All but Mega-Gigantic Hospitals
Modesty
Cash Bail
Drug Busts
'Land Lines'
Gasoline-fueled automobiles
Private Health Insurance
Private Doctors
Free Museums
Disturbing the Peace
Roth IRA's (at least, Roth IRA's whose distributions are tax-free)
Peacetime Economies
Gun Laws (The Wild West roars back)
Non-Mixed Use Zoning Laws
Fair Elections (Did we ever really have them?)
Ideals, Idealists, Idealism
The 'Renaissance Man'
Daily Newspapers, Print AND Digital
The 'Weather Channel'
META
Music Majors, Art Majors, Anthropology & Sociology Majors
Cooperation
Cashiers
Receptionists
Cleaning Services
'Straight People'
Teachers
'The Four Freedoms'
Courts (You'll get a ticket and either pay or go to jail...)
Courtroom Lawyers
'Law and Order' Politicians
Non-TV Ministers
Dentures
Non-union University Personnel
Non-gated upper middle class and upper class housing
Neighborhood Watch Groups
Public Schools
Childhood
Non-government Day Care
Nursery School and Kindergarten
Free Public Libraries (You'll pay for those Drag Shows, lol!)
Free-TV
Non-Tip Services
'The Great American Novel'
The Home of the Brave -- Oops! (I mean, of the 'Guardians!')
'Lesbos' and 'Homos' (Can you believe we used those terms?!)
Marital Sex (What for?)
Foreplay (Now it's just "Fore! Here I cum!")
~ Roger Dodger, Over & Out!
My job moved west,
and they didn't take me
They took my sister and my nephew
Said they had certain skills very few do,
and even fewer do well
One pitches big developer dreams,
one catches lonely hearts at casino hotels
Company said they no longer needed me,
got phased out by automation
But a robot doesn't have to feed a wife and baby
Got more bad news ...
My wife moved south,
and she didn't take me
She took the baby,
and the Corinthian leather couch
Said she wished she never married me,
and cleaned our joint bank account out
I didn't argue with her,
I didn't put up much of a fight
Maybe there might be a little good news
in all of this
Things just might be starting to swing right
After my brief smile, I got some more really bad news ...
The bio daddy took his baby from my wife,
and moved east
He didn't even try to take squat from me
Now she's down south crying tears,
and he's east downing lager beers
The baby is probably with her alcoholic grandmother,
thinking about it just makes me shudder
Dysfunctional families
tend never to stay together,
nor can they ever be truly
one big happy
But one thought is golden ---
Staying put might earn me
a trip to the poor house
tax free
Immigration history
Reveals a USA flaw:
Trump's grandfather and mother
Were 1-step ahead of the law.
Lacking moral character
They plundered all they could
Baby Donny quickly learned
Bilking government is good
Trump's Administration team
Found back-stabbing child's play
"The Richest Man in Babylon"
Reported a better way
Trump's tax-free cash is soaring
For his real estate is prime
It makes Trump happy knowing
Its all on the voter's dime!
Restore our good juice bar
That is not so far,
Tax free
Our yellow taxi
And only for me,
Be careful with
Green sponsor Fantomas:
Mass!
Miss you!
Beast...
And insist -
We can play and must
Fast
Be in the cinema
And pass
All their casting
And everlasting
Action and reaction
For all important -
It is my portrait -
And real things...
And news,
Views,
New companies -
Muse!
Love me!
Be patient and want
To be even the James Bond,
Drive Honda -
Back to Hollywood
Where our friends stay in the wood
And drink very fresh...
Food,
Eat,
Meet,
Papers, sandwiches,
Many languages,
Don't hesitate -
It is not mistake!
To be an artist of the new wave!
And start to dance in the new rain,
Because it is the main
Sense:
To sing and dance
In the high
Beautiful mountains
And smile,
Again try
Our slalom,
Sky
And sunny life!
After winning the lottery is like a
Baby being born
Chiming in a tangible joy
Destined for a righteous path
Embracing a cherished memory
Funds a return that is beyond measure
Gain a priceless reciprocation
Heightens a lifetime investment
Insures a locked treasure for your
Joint accounts that rest in the
Keepsakes of your hearts
Lies an allotted caliber
Magnified since their launch of
Non-negotiable rights
Offering a higher interest rate
Payable tax-free
Quitclaim deeds to further your interest
Rate of return is amplified
Solidifies the futures
Timeless legacy
Ultimate goals attained
Ventures are insurmountable
Worldwide accolades retained
Xeroxed companions of lottery and life
Yields a well-deserved fulfillment
Zest and zeal be their constant twin
Date: 06/04/2019
Teeth stained, odour untamed
Ruth is her name
She smiles everyday
My friend Ruth
She likes city views
Just like me and you
Night-time falls
Unphased by the cold
My friend Ruth explores
Pipes, bridges
Benches, boxes
She calls this place home
Crime free and tax free
My friend Ruth is happy
Why wouldn't she be?
Any Christian recipient would consider great,
the image of Jesus on a china plate.
A porcelain cross would also be grand;
beautiful enough to hold in the hand.
A gift of a bible for you or me;
purchased at a book store, it is sales tax free.
A gift of Our Savior in any physical way,
would be enlightening to all on any day.
However, Jesus should not stay in a box all the time.
Dwelling in our hearts and minds is most sublime
THE AMERICAN DREAM?!! OPEN YOUR EYES YOUR NOT ASLEEP. These politicians up on their soap boxes preaching "THE AMERICAN DREAM" ITS A SCEEM. Its time we wake up the AMERICAN DREAM is more like a FOREIGN NIGHTMARE! take a sec and look around people walk around with a blank stare cause they don't care they've given up hope more than half resort to dope just to cope. The illegals and the cartels are the ones that do well cause our government has pretty much told us to go to hell.OH WELL the government has another agenda to sell its the illegals that gets the grants and the tax free loans while we THE AMERICANS get the bone.when we get fed up and go off the grid to be left alone we get tagged as a terrorist or radical there fanatical im taking my words tactical.They want to track and profile us with the NSA reverse it and see what it would say it would read our politicians are the worlds largest mob and all they worry about is who they can rob and how long they can hold on to their job, all the corruption has been brought to the point of an eruption but then its swept under the rug but theirs one message left stay!! TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ITS TAXES YOU MUST PAY so we can afford the illegals to stay and citizenship's we can give away. WE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE GET HELP NO F...N WAY!!!!!!!! your truly JON A