Best Stuck Poems
I'm Rudolph stuck in traffic, and on this of all the nights,
and up to now my nose has matched each set of traffic lights,
the fat guy in the back keeps bridling at our progress slow,
why I get saddled with him each year, I harnessly don't know.
When other Reindeer used to help, back then boy, we could fly
but they've been made redundant since their running costs were high.
Dasher's now a quarterback for Minnesota Vikings,
and Dancer's in a chorus line, it's much more to her liking.
Prancer's found a new life with the Spanish riding school
and Vixen works the shopping Malls, which I think is pretty cool.
Cupid isn't stupid he went for early retirement
and Comet just lives off the land, Lichen his sole requirement.
Donner runs a kebab shop, he's doing pretty well
and Blitzen helped but left because he couldn't stand the smell.
So here I am, life can be cruel, it never reins it pours,
stuck in a line of SUVs instead of home indoors,
and Santa's whining at the fact I cannot be cold started,
and that is why I warmed him up, I clenched my cheeks and farted.
(All spelling intentional)
For contest 'Christmas Rhymes', sponsor Kim Rodrigues
November 27th 2017
I’m a beautiful angel like you’ll see on a tree
My snow globe plays a carol it is so Christmasy
I’m trapped in this snow globe, I want to get out
I bang on the casing and I scream and I shout
Bobby picks the globe and he shakes it so hard
so the snow swirls inside like it does in the yard
He then casts me aside leaving me on the table
and the kitten stares at me, she is called Mable
Mable bats me around and I crash to the floor
she’s found a new toy, and bats me with her paw
My snow globe home slides across the front room
Then the father treads on it and seals my doom
The snow globe is smashed, water leaks everywhere
And all the snow’s disappeared, oh it just isn’t fair
Bobby’s mother says she’s got a clever idea
I’ll take pride of place on her cake every year
Written for contest .... then I discovered Bobby wanted Free verse!
11/22/19
Being stuck is how I learned I am a cartoonist,
A poet, a writer, a painter.
Being stuck is what makes me
Seek something new that will interest me.
I know when my brain needs something new.
Her dendrites are crying for another language,
vocabulary words, new methods of painting.
I know I must feed her, so she can be the most
creative happy fun-loving dancing self she can be.
This is when I begin learning something new.
I do not care what it is - racquetball, paintball, Harry Potter,
something I did not know about yesterday. To loosen her and
allow her to be the best she can be. I either pick up a book
about something I have never learned or I pick up a hobby. If I have a broken ankle, I click on the History Channel to feed my dendrite highway and retain enthusiasm.
In a moment of silence
The winter's crystals are filled
in a snowglobe with you
A window without curtains
Like two sparrows in the country of love
We escape from problems in line
and money that burns
To get away from Christmas and stress
This is one of the most magical places on earth
So close, cheek to cheek
We sit on this branch and shine
in our common air and landscape
Christmas is time for peace,
love and reflection
Take care of those around you
Christmas is a period of the year
it's hardest to be lonely
04.12.2018
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
I used to be free
Acrobatics in the air
I would soar with flair
From here to way over there
Fly away
Into my dreams
Free as the air that brushes by me
Anywhere I could be
Whatever tickles my fancy
I could be the fly on the wall
Or the annoying one
Tickling life and all of you
Laughing as I fly so free
Oh how I could dance in the skies
Landing on buffets to delight my eyes
Feasting on gourmet of french cuisine
Life so joyous from high in the skies
So one day my life came crashing down
You imprisoned me to the flyers pound
I could not escape you have me well bound
Now I struggle my life is on ground
No more flying, no more freedom
I am now all tied up and
Stuck on you
To my death I will hate this fate
Regretting the day you and I made that date
Landing on you was death in black
You are the one to steal my last breath
You are……..
Flypaper
I, the Fly
It was some curse,
Locked in a tower all time,
Did I steal a purse?
Or did an unforgettable crime?
I paint the house like Van Gogh,
As I feel I'm going to shout,
I bake cookies and make bows,
But why can't I just go out?
I go to my room to dust,
As I use my broom to clean,
It's finally night where I see lanterns,
But why is it the day I turn eighteen?
I am just crying inside,
But now I'm reading medieval
Mother doesn't let me go outside,
But.....
Does that mean she's evil?
There once was a fellow named Stan
Who got his butt stuck in the can
He screamed and he hollered
No one would be bothered
Til saved by his twin sister Jan
04/26/2015
Holly boughs draping from mantel bring cheer;
Christmas lights twinkling on tree.
carolers singing their hymns loud and clear
setting the Yule spirit free.
Fire softly burning as shadows display
dancing like elves on the wall;
cinnamon cider scent slowly makes way
as signs of the season enthrall.
Snow globe on table depicts winter scene,
Christmas of so long ago.
Sleigh ride through forest so still and serene;
lovers hold tight in the snow.
Sitting on sofa with sweetheart so near,
gazing into her green eyes;
toasting the season with cider and cheer,
hoping for ardent surprise.
Season’s gay setting a vision sublime,
like snow globe’s cold wintery view;
wishing this moment was frozen in time
stuck in a snow globe with you.
December 7, 2018
STUCK!!!!!!!
Aagh, I’m trapped in the toilet
Look - the lock it is broke,
Help me, what do I do?
I’ve pushed it and pulled it
And yet still it won’t budge,
I’ve not more ideas, have you?
I can’t reach the light
And the time’s ticking on,
The temperature’s started to drop,
It’s cold and I’m hungry
So now, what to do?
I can hear someone
Quite close, just outside,
What are you doing -
Ooops the door slides!
Now feeling silly,
So totally blond
What a crock!
Now free
I thank -
YOU!!!!
Form:
'Twas the night before Christmas, when...
Oh no, said Rudolph! Stuck again!
The sky is dense and techno-waved,
our path seems wild and misbehaved!
Poor Rudolph stopped in sky midair
and yelled to Santa, we can't fly!
Earth satellites have made a snare
of wireless currents in the sky.
You see, today's advanced machines
are human gadgets called 'smart' phones;
they shop the Web from tiny screens;
airwaves mess up our flying zones.
Of course, they seek last-minute deals
on Christmas Eve, worse time of all,
when we are here 'head over heels'
to bring kids' presents, big and small.
Then Santa answered, use plan 'B'
come down one level in the sky.
Take care and watch! Don't hit a tree
or steeple top as we zoom by!
So Rudolph did as Santa said,
though still, they'd be a little late;
made headway now with deer and sled
where techno-waves had low flow rate.
Sandra M. Haight
~4th Place~
Contest: The Night Before
Sponsor: Joseph May
Judged: 12/08/2018
~1st Place~
Contest: Christmas Rhymes
Sponsor: Kim Rodrigues
Judged: 12/18/2017
Snowflakes are falling, it's late on Christmas Eve
Poor Rudolph’s sleigh is stuck fast in the snow
It’s gridlock on the roads and Rudolph can’t leave
The traffic lights are green, but no vehicles can go
Tears run down his nose and it glows bright red
His sleigh has gifts, which Santa needs to give out
to good children who are asleep in their bed -
Rudolph must not be late, or Santa will shout!
An old man winds down the window of his truck
Then he whispers to Rudolph to quickly dry his tears
He produces a snow shovel; Rudolph is in luck
Santa has promised him one for the sleigh for years!
They worked quickly and soon the sleigh is free
Rudolph took off high into the evening sky
He heads for the North Pole and crosses the sea
Under cover of darkness, no one can see him fly
Santa is delighted when the sleigh comes to land
Soon the other reindeer are hitched to the sleigh
Rudolph tells Santa a stranger gave him a hand
And how he helped to clear all the snow away
Mrs Claus chooses a gift to repay his kindness
And Santa delivers it to the old man’s front door
There’s no note on the gift but the man can guess
As the sleigh’s runner marks were not there before!
N/A in original Christmas Rhymes Contest
Sponsored by Kim Rodrigues
submitted into a stunner 2017 by Line Gauthier
11-27-17
Once knew this dude named Bartholomew
Who tried mending everything with superglue
Now this is quite yucca
Got some in his cuppa
He was stuck for words in an interview
© Jack Ellison 2015
Rudolf is stuck in traffic
This is simply tragic
What will he do with the toys
Eagerly awaited by girls and boys
It's that flock of geese causing the commotion
Flying in the v formation
Blocking the skies so no one can pass
Tried pushing his way through.. but alas
They pecked at him was not nice
Their beaks were as cold as ice
He sent a message to Santa Claus
Sam sparrow woke him up from his snores
Relayed that Rudolph was stuck
That the children will be out of luck
Santa then with a flash .... thought
Of asking the starlings for the help he sought
Off they went to go find the poor Reindeer
Whose red nose was looking much paler
Each took some presents off they flew
Delivering to all of the children something new
Christmas morning smiling faces all aglow
Will never know that Rudolph didn't show
That Santa said thank you starlings I am sure
Children will leave you nuts galore
For helping Santa this night
Poor old Rudolph did look a sight
Face was red with cold not just his nose
Santa sent him to bed with socks on his toes
Penned December 1st 2017
Contest:. Christmas Rhymes by Kim Rodrigues
.
precious power you possess
wind me up, make me spin
Christmas carols fill the air
at your side, I skate with joy
on a glass rink in a child’s toy
captured in this fantasy dome
idyllic village surrounds us
two hearts twirling endlessly
red skates shiny and new
effortlessly, I glide toward you
happiness gleams from a child’s eyes
she rocks our world
bestows sparkling snow
flakes adorn our holiday scene
we pirouette, forever sweet sixteen
*December 8, 2018
For the “Christmas Cheer” contest sponsored by Kim Rodriguez
My boyfriend was agitated
Because I was constipated
We'd be late for the game
Of course I was to blame
My butt hole's not dialated
On and on he whined and waited
Use of laxatives, debated
In my gut it was stuck
I could smell it... oh yuck
Boyfriend getting more frustrated
I could hear the game on the phone
I said, "Go. Just leave me alone!"
But he didn't hear me
His team was up by three
Stomach hurt, I let out a moan
Half hour later, he was snoring
I guess the game must be boring
I still sat on the can
Cursing my boyfriend, Dan
Who was no longer adoring.
After being lubricated
I sighed at being elated
Although my butt was sore
I had to poop no more
My bowels had been vacated
I found Dan's note and shook my head
"I had to poop, so went home instead
of waiting for you, Sue.
After this, we are through!"
That's exactly what his note said.
I felt relief, more ways than one
Happy that Dan and I were done
Now I can be alone
When sitting on my throne
No one shouting, "Hurry up, Hun!!"