Rudolph's Stuck In Traffic

I'm Rudolph stuck in traffic, and on this of all the nights, and up to now my nose has matched each set of traffic lights, the fat guy in the back keeps bridling at our progress slow, why I get saddled with him each year, I harnessly don't know. When other Reindeer used to help, back then boy, we could fly but they've been made redundant since their running costs were high. Dasher's now a quarterback for Minnesota Vikings, and Dancer's in a chorus line, it's much more to her liking. Prancer's found a new life with the Spanish riding school and Vixen works the shopping Malls, which I think is pretty cool. Cupid isn't stupid he went for early retirement and Comet just lives off the land, Lichen his sole requirement. Donner runs a kebab shop, he's doing pretty well and Blitzen helped but left because he couldn't stand the smell. So here I am, life can be cruel, it never reins it pours, stuck in a line of SUVs instead of home indoors, and Santa's whining at the fact I cannot be cold started, and that is why I warmed him up, I clenched my cheeks and farted. (All spelling intentional) For contest 'Christmas Rhymes', sponsor Kim Rodrigues November 27th 2017