Best Screwed Poems
( Retrieved from an advertisement
"Cleaners for Christmas" )
Cleaner can not perform inside cleaning - due security reasons
07/11/2019
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
17 syllables
1) Any form – I am usually not fond of prose
2) 10 line minimum, 50 Line Max
3) No Names
4) No poems from any of my previous contests
5) Poems uploaded to PS on 10.07.15 or earlier
6) Avoid Homophone errors *
7) Avoid Cliches *
8) Correct spelling *
1)Yeah, I know that's how it goes
2)The guy don't like no proses
3)and 9 lines, he tells me ain't enough
4)He says don't write my name, but he knows it all the same
5)and my past poems I guess were kinda rough
6)Now I'm a bit confused, homophones I can't abuse !
7)This poem must be written last week ?
8)A cliche comes to mind, and I can spell it out in sign
9)But if I do I think he's gonna freak
Thanks Rob for the inspiration---you know I'm just kidding, LOL
Sex is physical
But love is non existent
So let's make believe
Screwed IX Contest
Sponsor: Rob Carmack
I walk beneath you, anticipated hands held tight,
I wanna be with you, quench my thirst tonight.
In the sunshine I seek comfort from your rays,
Shining without an end, as your tenderness I crave.
Through out humanity there is but one desire,
To bring you my matches and you ignite our fire.
I walk above you, awaiting your sensations,
I long to love you, with our God given creations.
Only one thing matters in the history of us,
It's believing in gratitude, communication and trust.
Before the book was written, and sea's ran dry,
Is how long our magic has faithfully survived.
I walk toward you, eyes sealed in a kiss,
I'll never bore you, I promise you this.
Like light is to dark and moon is to shine,
Our fireworks sparkle, for you are mine for all time.
All the ways of our days are sacred and pure,
About this love we live, I've never been so sure.
I walk in front of you, to follow wherever you may lead,
I'm so in love with you, together we are complete.
Hallowed and consecrated, heavenly dedication,
These idea's I've meditated needing no explanation.
How is it that we both need each other to breathe?
For whenever we're together I never wanna leave.
I walk with you, hand in hand by the docks,
I talk with you, expressions of love we can not stop.
Date Written: November 27, 2015
Wreckage-Screwed X Contest
Believing in you caused wreckage in me
You thought taking your own life would fix you
Now alone, stuck in hell on bended knee
Cleaning up your awful mess, residue
Didn't you see your beautiful value?
Complicated loss, confusion, grief, fire
What was your reasoning, depth or desire?
Self-destructive and annihilation
Wounded, suffering, physical satire
Articulation, manipulation
~November 18, 2015~
Sponsor: Rob Carmack
***Ten lines, ten syllables each line
and rhyme scheme: a. b. a. b. b. c. c. d. c. d.***
Mr.Mish got screwed on the fish
He cried over his main dish
The dish was so screwy
Emitted a mewee
Jumped out of plate with a swish
Horn Screwed Up Haiku
So when you screwed up;
Cannot think of what to do;
Blame it on system.
This is what I am starting to believe.
That is what Trump, Bernie and
European Common Market (ECM)
are doing.
Jim Horn
PS. Category is farewell to ECM.
And I thought ECM was supposed
to be Electronic Counter Measures.
Forsaken, mistaken. That is the way I am.
That's how it happened. I was left behind.
My brain flaking. Unaware of my mind.
I'm forever saddened. Bruising, I'm losing.
My soul as quick as could be. Advocation of truth, I try to send.
A left hand fashion statement. Realism that's soothing.
There is a case, there upon my face. Of depression and hate.
It's a question of mind. A part of fashion.
The essence of my trace. A sensual form of passion.
I'm running out of time. I see the rising moon, at "my noon."
And I shun the sun. I am a blend of love and hate.
Curse me and die!!! The end is coming so terribly soon.
I may as well continue. The screwing of my fate.
The moment I first saw her
I knew my life had changed
The feel seems like forever
For this wild heart untamed
I can’t get her off my mind
Not even in my sleep
I am restless all the time
And gets harder to breathe
Every time I wake up
To an early daybreak
I wished she is beside me
In my bed by the lake
But fate has more surprises
That left me harshly screwed
That lady have disguises
And once a brutal dude
Fool me Once Contest
Sponsor: Brenda Chiri
5/6/2015
The court Judge is at my house
I cannot tell anyone, not even my spouse
He's come to inspect my claim
And I've only myself to blame
It never occurred to me when I sued
When I was in the foulest mood
I saw the damage in my new property on the wall
To my lawyer, I made a long call
I would easily win this case
And I realized my mistake when the Judge and I came face to face
In my home
The judge wanted to see what I was making a big fuss about
Me and my big mouth!
I had the ruined wall rebuilt
Should I wither or should I wilt?
Without a receipt I'm screwed
Now I'm in a real bad mood!
Copyright@BrigittePace2019
Why do I...We have such trouble speaking the words I...we need most to say
but when I...we try I...we just utter illiterate jibberish
I...We only speak irrelivent verses and continue to ignore the probloms
with words like "you really wanna have this fight?" and "Not tonight"
So all goes unresolved
Its not a mystery ,but its unsolved
We always fight and noone wins
Our relationship is a sick,beautiful, masochistic sin
Were in it for the longhaul
even when we wanna choke eachother out
Cause we both know in an hour will be having hot S*X
were disfuntional and I think we might like it
We started this fire and let love ignite it
We cant deny it were screwed up
but were stuck on stupid for eachother
So we continue with our insane ,love hate lets fight then screw relationship
Were codependent and pathedic
Were phycotic and horny
and no one can warn me...us
cause were to sick and full of lust
to listen
were young and stupid
im young hes stupid
Screwed
into screwy.
Are you asking.....
Who?
Screwed
into screwy
Is it asking.....
You?
Are you
screwed
into screwy....
or is.......
screwy....
screwing you?
It is so much easier
to screw
something up
than it is to unscrew it
Either way
your screwed.....
I was born to be the dark horse...the underdog.
But, I'm nowhere near endearing enough for people to root for me.
Some look at me pitifully like I'm a blind puppy, others see me as a disease, and still others try to trip me to see my face covered in mud.
Judas and I share the same blood, and the same unfortunate taste in friends, those with a messiah complex.
The kind that abuse loyalty as an asset, an entitlement, a death sentence.
Inside my chest, at the heart of it all, is a screwed up little house and in that house my heart hangs like an old chandelier swaying and tinkling in the anemic light of old dusty curtains.
My love is a pair of tennis shoes thrown over a power line, their shadows forms a heart on the dirty asphalt, in front of the house with all of the ghosts,
with the dead yard and the corpses of ill-fated kick balls and soccer balls impaled on over grown rose bushes.
My body is that tired house.
Sagging windows, crooked doors, the beams shudder like the people that cross the street to avoid me.
All the crucifixes hang sideways above the doorways, nails piercing the drywall like a tetanus filled stigmata.
Locked in, I watch from behind a filthy window, I'm nothing but a shadow, a wraith, no evil, just waiting.
I'm a story to make children behave at the grocery store.
I'm the face of decay, forgotten and wishing for a second change, bold enough to hope for a FAIR chance,
misunderstood because I wear my ghosts like wallpaper.
It's tempting to hide them, but the walls will still moan with their weight.
History can be buried, but never erased,
It can be changed by the winners, but the truth lives on the tongues of sinners.
When we fear them, we pretend not to hear them.
Many seek peace at the expense of truth and history.
We are the victims of fairytales.
The witches cottage
The queen with the poison apple
The hunstman with his axe..whose heart is in the box?
The all live within my walls, even darkness needs a home.
Because light needs are worthy adversary.
For good to exist, it must stand on adversities vanquished shoulders.
There is no dawn without first a howling moon.
I am the moon.
I am a screwed up little house.
A princess who prances about in the nude
Should realize that cameras she cannot elude.
So naturally, photos, exposed but not lewd,
Made headlines and numerous times have been viewed.
The prince and the princess have rightfully sued.
The cameras did not have a right to intrude;
For even the royals, as they rendezvoused,
Deserved to have privacy and solitude.
At least we know Kate won’t be known as a prude,
Which the pictures give people the right to conclude.
Yet in her private moments, when all is reviewed,
I’m sure that cavorting the princess has rued.
We blame paparazzi, so clever and shrewd,
But their actions quite simply can’t be misconstrued;
For they merely provide what we hope they’ve pursued –
A celebrity glimpse that can be ballyhooed!