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Dickens' Other Christmas Story

Jingle bells
and reindeer smells -- 
note to Mrs. Clause: 

before Eve-trip, to reduce
scent and slip, no beer
and sardines for Rudolph!

That damn Guiding Red-nose
needs to find other fuel for
his radiant beam-glows! (takes a lot
to piss-off Santa)
 
It was a foul dilemma: 

Every time Dancer, Donner and Blitzen 
rose, Santa was forced to awkwardly stretch and
pinch each tortured, dutiful nose; poor deer, eyes 
stinging and runny (not the least bit funny) 
(Rudolph laughing like a ridiculous fool) (Santa 
thinking, next year, to take his place, perhaps a 
levitating green-schnoz mule)

fumes causing the team to terribly
blink -- every inch higher, a half inch 
lower the sled would breathlessly sink -- 

Note to Mrs. Clause: especially disallow, 
one last huge, gulp for the long cold road -- that
parting toast proved particularly disastrous to Santa's 
precious gift load, 
                  when the old saint paused to 
light his pipe: Rudolf let loose with
one extraordinarily ripe -- when the match was
struck, ignited the night, flaming presents needing
no additional lift to literally take brilliant flight -- 

A Christmas to remember
when Rudolf went on a Sardine, Beer
Bender. 




Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 12/8/2024 10:04:00 AM
Dear joe, this is such a fun read, and i cant help but think now, some of the times maybe those that are dressed as santa would go through similar discomfort. Hah! Very creative how youv written this and the opening especially made me sing jingle bells! Very well delivered. I wish you and your family a peaceful holiday, and happiness and joy! Sending you light always
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/9/2024 9:35:00 AM
Silly, I know...just a change of pace. Thank you, IE. Blessings.
Date: 12/7/2024 6:01:00 AM
LOL! All’s not perfect on Christmas Eve! I hope they did not leave “stinkers” under the children’s trees.
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/9/2024 9:36:00 AM
May be...Rudolph was the imp that night. Thank you Kim. Happy you got a chuckle out of this one.
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/7/2024 1:22:00 PM
I'll ask Santa when he cools down. He is still fit to be tied with Rudolph.
Date: 12/7/2024 3:20:00 AM
Oh boy I can only imagine the fumes and the hole in Santa's pants, lol, who needs beans when you got sardines, lol, thank you for the belly laugh Joe
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/7/2024 1:24:00 PM
Anchovies my favorite -- on pizza of course.
Date: 12/6/2024 11:03:00 PM
Haha. Sardines thrown in. Oh my! Well done, Joe
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/7/2024 1:29:00 PM
Santa plotting revenge for next Christmas -- Elves working on a special cork. With enough motivation that could be even more disastrous. Santa better rethink his scheme.
Date: 12/4/2024 12:29:00 PM
Sardines and beer eh?... Now thats a combo begging for a gassy disaster. Thanks for the chuckles. Big Smiles ~ Anne :-D
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/7/2024 1:29:00 PM
We've all been there. What the heck:)
Date: 12/4/2024 11:50:00 AM
I enjoyed reading your creative/fun write. Way TOOOOOO Funny..... Thanks for the laugh. Is the new diet for Jan 2025, Sardine & beer in the Bender??? Hahaha!!! Have fun day writing Away............
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Joe Dimino
Date: 12/7/2024 1:31:00 PM
Yep. Perhaps broccoli and beer? You too, Paula, have a glorious day writing. Blessings.