Best Scam Poems
Well, here is the truth for you all,
since you had no idea you are a
part of one big scam called Poetry Soup
which charges you for the anthology
just so you can see your own poem,
so that means don't be upset because
you were not accepted into Anthology that
has close to a 1000 poets in it and even more poems,
they take everything and anything and pretend
like they had to read all of the works and then decide,
it is a nonsense and be happy that you did not get accepted!
My poem got accepted and i cant read it, because they want me to buy
the book just so i can see my poem in it.
Now this whole place could be a scam,
because if they can scam us through Anthology
that means they do not give three s about what we write!
Diverse Voices is a scam, Poetry soup is a scam,
the whole internet is a scam, and the only way
you will be able to accept this fact is to stop posting here,
and for over 20 years this scam has been taking our poetry
in exchange for profit of which we get 0. How is this poem for a change?
Truth hurts that is why nobody wants to hear it.
DIVERSE VOICES MY ASS!
My phone rings…. I answer it but say nothing as I don’t recognise the displayed number and I can only hear ‘white noise’ at the other end. Okay I admit I’m going deaf and will be getting my hearing aid soon but that’s another story.
I check out the number on Google and see it’s scammers who ring up people claiming to be from Microsoft and unless you pay up heaps of money they will hack your computer. It was the second time they had called in two days so I’ve written a little script based on an old joke for when they eventually try again
Caller: Hello I’m calling from Microsoft
(before they can get on with the rest of their script)
Me: Oh are you the engineer, I’m glad you rang so quickly after I logged a fault call. Please can you help me, I have a terrible issue with my computer, well it’s not my laptop it belongs to my son ....
Me: You know the handy little coffee cup holder on the side, well it’s broken…
Caller: (getting cross as he can’t use his script) What the heck are you talking about…
Me: The coffee cup holder – you must know the one … you press a little button on the side of the laptop and it shoots out …it’s so handy for my coffee mug but it’s got jammed and it’s only half way out and I can’t use it.
Caller: Coffee cup holder - are you mad?
Me: No… I'm not mad but I have short term memory issues … but my son will be absolutely bloody fuming if I don’t get the coffee cup holder sorted. Can you tell me how to fix it?
Caller: Just hangs up in frustration!
I just need them to ring me now and I will be ready!
Short Story Contest N/A in contest judged on 9/27/16
Submitted to Take The Dagger From My Heart, Please Sponsored by Broken Wings
09~27~16
February 29, 2016
Written by Gail DeBole
A man born into a world of scams
Had a father adept at flim-flam.
He lived by what he was taught
Until the day he was caught
By police who out-flimflammed his scam.
Who hasn’t heard of the Nigerian Letter or the Australian Lottery won?
So what about you’re kids in college… what for them is going on?
My son found a job posted on the University’s Nursing jobs bulletin Board.
Apparently several students applied to take care of an old man coming into town.
They were each approved separately, and then sent a check…
Plus a list of nursing supplies and a wheel chair they had to pay for and pick up.
Apparently, the place to work with had already been set up.
Once everything was paid for, they were ready for the job.
Instead all they got was their accounts cleaned out.
And the Nursing supplies were another part of the scam, my dear.
In the end the money they had was gone with everything saved from the student loans.
Now the problem was made and you know what? Guess who didn’t care?
The police, University, and bank said it happens all the time.
Of course they turned away saying it wasn’t their concern.
The bank told my son he owed $3400 more, even through he was the victim of the fraud.
The Banks fraud department yawned and said they wouldn’t look into what was done.
In fact, they were sending his accounts into collections to attack him even more.
Slough it off, and attack the victim, and of course none of them would do their work.
Mail fraud, money fraud, and con men involved… across state lines meant nothing at all.
Attacking the victim is not where the Banks, police, and university belong.
So let me tell you The States’ Attorney General is the next on the list.
The Attorney General and the Federal Government is where to go, my friend.
Don’t give up on the internet, there are help groups there, that abound.
Tell your children of the game… to keep them far away.
The bank wants my son’s next student loan money for collections on the debt…
And he will have to work full time at minimum wage to survive.
You might say everything at the moment… is truly upside down.
But we will fight unendingly… to straighten everyone out…
What a Christmas job deal breaker… and what a way to find out…
The Miss Universe pageant should be mirth,
it is a scam for all that it’s worth,
now this can’t be denied;
it can’t be justified,
‘cause all the winners are here from Earth.
Beware the “Reader” Phishing Scam
By Elton Camp
I had considered myself practically immune to phishing scams, but I found out differently last night. While I was doing some online searches, just as I often do, when my virus scan noted that a trojan type virus had made its way onto my computer, but that it had been removed. Thankful for the virus protection, I continued to work. After a few minutes, a familiar looking red logo with the word “Reader” suddenly appeared, asking to install the latest update. “That’s Adobe Reader,” I foolishly assumed and clicked for the update from the useful and trusted provider.
To my dismay, the bogus “Reader” and two other programs began to insinuate themselves and there was no clickable option to decline them. I soon learned a concept new to me called “bundling.” Unwelcome pop-ups began to appear, offering “financial” advice and opportunities. Far worse, key words in my hundreds of poems and articles posted online were instantly converted into blue hyperlinks that led to a highly questionable source. Readers of my online material were also about to undergo attack if they clicked any of the hyperlinks!
I quickly went to Control Panel and uninstalled the three bogus programs. The hyperlinks vanished and no more pop-ups appeared. After several more minutes, my usually excellent virus scanner apparently caught on to what had taken place and informed me of the “bundling” and gave an option to delete the material.
I had let the word “Reader” and the knock-off logo of Adobe Reader deceive me. Don’t let this happen to you!
Shop for me secretly in your neighborhood; a watermarked
Couriered check will be sent for you to immediately cash
At your bank. Take your $300 fee; then, wire the remaining
Money to Canada or maybe to Cebu in the Philippines
As soon as you split the 4850 dollars into two payments.
Let me know you have completed your assignment by
Email. Be sure to answer the questions in a detailed
Report, including the place where you send the wire
Transfer to the other mystery shopper in that country.
Scam-a-day, my way.
Scam-bags, graymail written,
sent.
Nigerians make more.
I think
Therefore I am
What a joke
Its really toast with no jam.
Save it for a rainy day
Do you know how many ive had
I dont want to come out and play
A penny for your thoughts
Yup, you nailed it
But thats all i bought
Give me liberty or give me death
Hmmm a coin toss
I wont hold my breath
No man is an island
Really?
Is it all inclusive man
A bird in hand is worth
Nah, im not even gonna go there
How do you choose the numbers,
By random or by choice?
What's the point in calling me,
When you'll never hear my voice?
So much wasted time you spend
Ringing up my phone,
Aren't there better ways
To spend the time you own?
I do not answer calls
From a number I don't know,
Regardless where it's from
Or how many in a row.
And robo calls with messages,
Computer generated
Are so fake and phony,
A minus ten they're rated.
If you'll stoop this low,
To be annoying every day,
What about your character
Does your behaviour say?
Anyone who gains by stealing,
No matter how or what they steal,
Can't have self respect nor
Good about themselves, feel.
Are you really this desperate
In the misery where you wallow,
You can only in this rut
Stay in and follow?
Or are you just a narcissist
Who gets pleasure causing pain,
Havoc, and discord abundantly,
While promoting selfish gain?
A scam is a scam,
Built on/around deceit
No matter how it's cloaked,
A scammer is a cheat.
To paint yourself so clearly
In such an unbecoming light,
While you justify your actions,
Bending wrong into right,
Puts you in a class
Of the lowest form.
How can you be okay with this
And accept this as your norm?
Written by Artsieladie/Sharon Donnelly
©2018-03-29 21:54:00 (EST) All rights reserved.
Scam
WLM
Wildncrazy555
July 31, 2011
Been caught in a scam
Should I have just ran
Try to be good
For God as we should
Always to get bit
Just take another hit
Never knowing why
But continue to try
To live with the strife
Just wanted a wife
Will we ever just fit in the groove
Or should we just move
On the Golden list
I do not jist
Or just change my name
To fit and stay in the game
Never, never win
So I will just give in
Up til now I have avoided a scam with my name on it,
Despite it being tailored to suit me,
Even wearing a bow tie,
Appealing to my taste buds,
With words smothered in chocolate,
And smelling like my favourite rose,
Tastefully wrapped up with $100 bills.
All that was lacking was a hint of grammar,
A modicum of common sense in sentence construction,
Some more appropriate phrases,
Evidence of an ability to spell check,
And I might have been hooked.
As one by one people I knew of were reeled in,
I was busy patting myself on the back,
And asking myself, how could they possibly fall for that,
When even my cat could see through that,
And why didn't they smell a rat,
When you could spot the misuse of grammar,
Without the use of a hammer,
And the spelling mistakes,
Could be found in the time it takes,
For me to whip up some tea cakes.
But Now,
My confidence is down somehow,
Maybe it is because when I read the papers now,
I find articles without a hint of grammar,
No common sense in sentence construction,
Few appropriate phrases,
No evidence of spelling ability,
Or attempts at spellchecking
Which leaves me sweating every time I go online,
No longer able to tell the difference between a scam,
And a leg of ham.
I kind of wish I had never learned to spell,
As even those without degree,
Would not be impressed at my tempt,
At spelling mistakes,
So scamming is out for me,
Unless I go back to school,
And study journalism until my mistakes,
Are plain to see.
In the meantime,
I feel safer, spending time with the cat,
While she teaches me how to smell a rat.
Maybe I am an idiotsavant. Or maybe just an idiot. Maybe I am a megalomaniac. Or just a maniac? what ebber.
she smelled of unstable
an upgrade from offline
like a magnet folded in two
she had me sputtering over gutters
whenever she was looking for action
there was no getting bored
i was but one of a billions souls
who's timing was all wrong
it's a wonder i ever belonged
i was readily decomposed
changed into another compound
waffling like an improper synonym
and then she asked me for money
something about poweraving
i heard gaslight rhythms
and my PTSD set in
i put her in a cage
she never asked again
you're no uncle to me
i earn my money and you take it away
you're just another word for organized crime-
who says that crime don't pay?
i work every day in the american way-
and what do i get?
a little bit farther behind
a little bit further in debt
and i can't get ahead of the bills-
no matter how hard i try
well who do you think you are
jerkin'me 'round and takin' all my pie
you got to pay rent,cable and lights
and the telephone too
and it costs about an arm and a leg-
just to drive my car
so by the end of the month i'm kinda feeling the crunch
don't know if i'll make it through
'cause on what i earn and what you keep on burnin'
i aint gonna get too far
and you're no uncle to me
i earn my money and you take it away
you're just another word for organized crime
who says that crime don't pay?
knowing how the economy is
you can't help expecting the worst
when your cash flow is blowin away-
like a leaf in a breeze
meanwhile i'm still in the race but it looks like the rats-
are gonna be coming in first
all i can say is-
brother can ya spare a piece of cheese?
and you're no uncle to me
i earn my money and you take it away
you're just another word for organized crime-
who says that crime don't pay?