Best Rump Poems

Donald's faithful to his red star
Putin loves the Don from afar
Bizarre it may seem
It's been Vladimir's dream
To have an American Tsar...

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A politician called Ronald Dump
Loves to pat pretty girls on the rump
At a peachy pert tush
All his brains turn to mush
His wife floors him –...

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'Twas the night before Christmas
when I and my groom
finally found a motel 
but with just one room.

My groom was in the bathroom -
leaving me alone-
so...

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SPEECHLESS SPOKEN WORD ARTISTE

So if my vocal folds can’t collaborate to produce sounds to communicate loudly to your beautiful mind that I have an endless...

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It's one week till Christmas
And we've had enough
Of grumpy old shoppers
Complaining about stuff.

They hate the line-ups,
They hate the cashiers.
They won't be happy 
Till they have...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I...

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Humpty Dumpty always sat on that wall
Except for the one time he had a great fall
So always but once that anyone can recall
Which is why...

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So you call yourself a rhymer,
you’re nothing but a social climber. 
I got better rhymes than you in my sleep.
If you come my way accept...

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THEY graze in beauty on the land
     of grassy glades and dewy dales,
and all that's best of tamed and tanned
 ...

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Anchored by its feet hangs the carcass
Butcher removes brisket and strings it
Chuck steak diced for stews and pies
Dark well matured silverside rests
Entrails give the dogs...

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Where a dingo, with crushed skull, lies,

a stout round creature backs up

from the entrance of his burrow.

His sturdy rump has saved him,

and his worst enemy...

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Three times higher on Mars you can jump,

which is great, but you'll sure be a grump

if you visit the spot

so incredibly hot

that the sun, when...

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Dot Blogs she was a buxom lass and hefty heifer too
who married Bobby Eugene Blows when she was twenty- two.
They lived upon a dairy farm...

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The Anatomy of a Horse (written for children)

Horse's feet have a hoof, the hard part which he can pound, 
back of this is his frog,...

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across the Doggerland dogged people trudge
  Neanderthals, Heidelbergers...Sapiens, the last ones standing
  hairy mammoths, heavy life bearing down
  the mighty maw of...

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