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Ridiculous Thoughts

Babies have been known to crawl Up to seven hundred feet a day Better tie a rope tightly around them Or they'll wind up miles away Sex burns 360 calories per hour Who has sex for an hour Longest for me is seventy-three seconds Burn more just having a shower In Finland every Donald Duck comic Was banned a few decades ago Betcha can't guess the reason why He was naked down below Summer on Uranus lasts 21 years I'm a-packing my bags as I write Better not forget the sun tan lotion My epidermis is pure lily white From around the age of thirty Humans begin to shrink Imagine we lived to a hundred and fifty We'd be one inch tall methinks During a normal human life span Hearts beat more than two billion times So anything less than that huge number You're dead so it's time to recline About 400 different kinds of microbes Coexist on the human body They don't even wait for an invitation Like in-laws I find that shoddy Only one in two billion people will live To the age of a hundred and sixteen Sorry for all you nice folks out there But I'm the one chosen it seems Giraffes can clean their ears with their tongue It's dangerous don't try this at home You may wind up twisted up like a pretzel And even break a few bones! © Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Date: 8/15/2015 11:04:00 AM
Dragon's live forever, or for as long as they want. And their memories put elephats to shame, so never piss them off! Grandpa Troll said Dragon's Papa flew to Uranius and came back saying it was full of cold gas. He said the summers are still really cold because it's so very far from the sun! So he settled for the South Pole... where it's way more nice and warm! Thought you might like to hear that news before you decide to take off... Plus the internet connection is iffy or non existant at all!
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