I'M Dreaming/ a Liberal Xmas Tale

Who was this white haired Claus With rabbit teeth? Carrying a ton of peanuts For all to eat. Dragged in a sleigh pulled By Agnew and Nixon, Who ran right beside Donnar and Blitzen? He circled Camp David, A fast fly by; With lox and bagels for the Jewish guys. A carpenters’ pencil Was poised by his ear, And boxes of nails dangled, From the gear in the rear. Why! Its Jolly Ole Carter Claus Draped in menorahs. Handing out home plans to the Arab before us. Visions of world peace Danced in his head; As, he flew straight to Afghanistan ‘Fore noggin hit bed. When down from the sky In the form of deer dung, Fell fruit tree seeds Too be sown in the sun. And, as CarterClaus’ whip cracked O’er Nixon's ear, As Agnew blanched, His eyes filling with tears. Droplets hit sand with A plop and a splatter ’Pon the fruit tree seeds with Nary a clatter. The desert grew green; Trees sprouted and grew; Hearts filled with wonder, Bellies with stew. Homes were rebuilt, as before the fall, Cook fires were lit. Children grew tall. And Ole Carter Claus Flew home in a daze. Passing out sandwiches That Roslyn had made.