White Trash Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas
And try as I may
I’d never be done
By the break of next day.
The stockings weren’t hung
Hell, they weren’t even knit
And the children in bed?
No, they’re throwing a fit!
And me in my kerchief
And Kmart house coat
Was testing a Holiday
Ice Cream-tini float.
When what to my
Bloodshot eyes should appear
But my absentee husband
With two cases of beer!
His eyes, how they glistened
His laughter, how scary
His walk was zig zag
His nose a red cherry!
He spoke not a word
(We last spoke in ought-eight)
But climbed up in my trailer
Like I’d cigs on rebate.
Then laying a finger
Inside of his nose
He belched and he farted
And took off his clothes.
But I heard him exclaim
‘Ore passing out for the night,
“Merry Christmas to All!
Can I have Newport Lite?”
November 28, 2018
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