Best Offend Poems


Does the Message of Christmas Offend You

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You?

I know of many who got somewhat “defensive.”
It has to do with something, they find “offensive.”

This seems to be the direction this country’s going.
People getting offended…  And it’s showing!

The very appearance of a cross is “offensive.”  It seems!
Many get offended by what the Christmas message brings!

Some try to get Christian symbols taken away.
It makes one wonder about this Christmas day.

The words “happy holiday” seem to take it’s place!
Just look at the expressions on a person’s face!

The nativity scene seems to be a thing of the past.
As people try to “rush” through
 this holiday fast!

If the true meaning of Christmas seems to offend you!
Simply look at the works of God,
 that surround you!

It was HIS love that sent the baby Jesus, down to earth.
So that one day, through him,
we can have a NEW birth!

A new life in Christ, is HIS message and meaning!
The greatest gift of all…  
You can be receiving!

Won’t you take some time, from all of life’s stress?
And allow Jesus inside, so you can be blessed?

Let all come to Christ! Both near and a far!
He still shines today!  Like the Christmas star!

By Jim Pemberton

Out To Get Me How To Offend 6 of 11

Shush Sushobhan, 
she’s pushing her hand to my rock hard in the back of reception 
your girl wowing at my fat long perfection, 
I guess she thinks of you as rejection 
after you spent a fortune forging affection,
less valued than my shlong.

Meanwhile slow and little brains porky pig 
my circuit short twig tool of a boss is on an investigation 
overpowered by resentment she gets my attention, 
such minute intelligence reveals her intentions so evident, 
I could read signs and tell of pending events, 
whilst she's happy to believe I was unaware and dense. 

I've cotton on to your rotten pong wanting me gone 
and plotting for so long, me out witting miss puppet for the job, 
accusations she'd lob 
ridiculously smitten with my downfall, 
now for your downfool…..

Think you’ve done better cus you ass lick more, 
you’re brainy like a fruit basket whore, 
That Greek bloke dumped you and not one man showed interest 
it's because you’re a character men detest, 
ugly with clothes on, mental scars undressed, 
personality like a side dresser past it’s best,
beast and the beast misses fungal yeast, 
walking around in a black suit putting yourself on the radar 
put a helmet on your ugly face you’d be like Darth Vader, 
no I mean, 
a daft failure, 
you think you're important
cus you're mentally dormant, 
job performance level of slumber
dumb and dumbers dumb dumbster, 
means, you are the dumbs dumped dumb stuff,
moustache and bum fluff, dog bark rough.  

Let’s meet up again and see if you play those games, 
now you’ve no title,  see who reigns falls, up yours.
© Nick Trim  Create an image from this poem.

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You?

I know of many who got somewhat “defensive.”
It has to do with something, they find “offensive.”

This seems to be the direction this country’s going.
People getting offended…  And it’s showing!

The very appearance of a cross is “offensive.”  It seems!
Many get offended by what the Christmas message brings!

Some try to get Christian symbols taken away.
It makes one wonder about this Christmas day.

The words “happy holiday” seem to take it’s place!
Just look at the expressions on a person’s face!

The nativity scene seems to be a thing of the past.
As people try to “rush” through
 this holiday fast!

If the true meaning of Christmas seems to offend you!
Simply look at the works of God,
 that surround you!

It was HIS love that sent the baby Jesus, down to earth.
So that one day, through him,
we can have a NEW birth!

A new life in Christ, is HIS message and meaning!
The greatest gift of all…  
You can be receiving!

Won’t you take some time, from all of life’s stress?
And allow Jesus inside, so you can be blessed?

Let all come to Christ! Both near and a far!
He still shines today!  Like the Christmas star!

By Jim Pemberton   12/5/13


Premium Member How To Offend a Neighbor

A young man in a brand-new red Ford pickup
Is said to have had very, very bad luck
Driving it rather hard,
Through a neighbor’s front yard,
The yard turned into a sodden muddy muck.

written January 21, 2022

Does Christmas Offend You

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You?

I know of many who got somewhat “defensive.”
It has to do with something, they find “offensive.”

This seems to be the direction this country’s going.
People getting offended and it’s showing!

The very appearance of a cross is “offensive.”  It seems!
Many get offended by what the Christmas message brings!

Some try to get Christian symbols taken away.
It makes one wonder about this Christmas day.

The words “happy holiday” seem to take it’s place!
Just look at the expressions on a person’s face!

The nativity scene seems to be a thing of the past.
As people try to “rush” through
 this holiday fast!

If the true meaning of Christmas seems to offend you…
Simply look at the works of God,
 that surround you!

It was HIS love that sent the baby Jesus, down to earth.
So that one day, through him,
we can have a NEW birth!

A new life in Christ, is HIS message and meaning!
The greatest gift of all…  
You can be receiving!

Won’t you take some time, from all of life’s stress…
Just simply trust Jesus, so you can be blessed?

Let all come to Christ, near and a far!
He still shines today!  Like the Christmas star!

By Jim Pemberton

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You

Does the Message of Christmas Offend You?

I know of many who got somewhat “defensive.”
It has to do with something, they find “offensive.”

This seems to be the direction this country’s going.
People getting offended…  And it’s showing!

The very appearance of a cross is “offensive.”  It seems!
Many get offended by what the Christmas message brings!

Some try to get Christian symbols taken away.
It makes one wonder about this Christmas day.

The words “happy holiday” seem to take it’s place!
Just look at the expressions on a person’s face!

The nativity scene seems to be a thing of the past.
As people try to “rush” through
 this holiday fast!

If the true meaning of Christmas seems to offend you!
Simply look at the works of God,
 that surround you!

It was HIS love that sent the baby Jesus, down to earth.
So that one day, through him,
we can have a NEW birth!

A new life in Christ, is HIS message and meaning!
The greatest gift of all…  
You can be receiving!

Won’t you take some time, from all of life’s stress?
And allow Jesus inside, so you can be blessed?

Let all come to Christ! Both near and a far!
He still shines today!  Like the Christmas star!

By Jim Pemberton   12/5/13


Not My Intention To Offend

It’s not my intention to judge, criticize, or offend
It works out for me to live in peace, and make amends.
To write poetry and express all the gifting within,
Enjoying everyone’s poetry and the messages they bring. 

One may write on their achievements, another their hurt,
Expressing their anguish and what it takes its worth.
It’s good in a way to let it all out, venting your emotions
If you have to scream and shout.

All I can say and I’lm hope you’ll agree, don’t get me wrong
In the process you’ll see. My poetry reflects my situation
And the things I go through. Trust they’ll be a blessing
And a tower of strength to you.
© Abraham L  Create an image from this poem.

If I Offend


If I offend,
let the reason be pure

Should my presence spoil your thoughts,
let not a shadow of doubt
be cast secular

When I move against the status quo grain,
fermented feelings of many
stir amber waves of murmuring
I sense the seething wind of dissimulation brewing

Compel not me to follow
the drunken messengers of false hope

Perhaps the imitation flavor of idol persuasion
be not my cup of tea   ~   I despise superfluous civility
So please allow this non-conforming offense to unsweetly fall on me

As my tongue refuse to sugarcoat the truth ... 
another dawn of darkness arises bitterly,
offering no core value compromising remedy
Twilight time is the fading glow of bauble hoarding lunacy

If I offend,
cast these words to the ground

Let any uplifted eyes of oblivious pride
peer ever unquestioningly down

No Intend Offend; Intend Ascend

High-frequency T.V.'s and Mp3's-
fortune five-hundred execs 
getting high on profit specs,
and migratory bird disease.

We live in a time where
teenage single mothers still have sex,
and the majority recieve hourly checks;
we all look on with an empty stare.

Illegal plants but legal drinking;
everyone is worried about what they wear.
They say it's bull, I say it's bear.
Fast-forward movement prevents forward thinking.

Prosperous few in a prosperous nation,
good on top, but better off below.
Destruction kills but also brings re-creation;
makes it easy to see some's inspiration.
High rise towers falling to their knees,
everyone wants, but forgot how to say please.
Tragic flaw pops up to say hello;
cross-examination of moral desecration.

My Own Religion Znot Meant To Offend, Written To a Family Member a Long Time Agoz

In this world, we claim to know but we only teach what others show. For what we've learned has been taught by man so how could we possibly know the bigger plan? They give us a book, claim that it's old, claim that it's words were written in gold. So it must be true in every way, simply because that's what other men say. See, I'm quite the rebel but I have a cause, my mission is to put the lies on pause. Play the truth and witness revelation, without giving in to lies and temptation. I take what I've learned from my youth and the principle that every lie is built on the truth for knowledge is power so I learn what I can in order to finally tell the truth to all man. We can fight all day, but what does it show? In the end one side wins, but at what price? No one knows. If you are alive, you don't know what comes next, and if you are dead, it's not like you can tell us in text. Instead, we shut it out, so there's no fear of not knowing. And most of us are happy with not knowing why we're still going. However, I never was one to stay in line and follow suit... I feel like to not question is to live life in mute. Nothing is right and nothing is wrong, fact is only physical, spiritual goes beyond. Based upon good should be every decision because that's the one common denominator in every religion. Contrast and compare and be willing to look beyond what you've been told from the words of a book. God is much more than words written on a page, don't trap him with his creation, out of fearful, naïve rage! If you love Him enough then find Him for yourself, you don't need another man to give it to you off a shelf. But this is just me, I'm more individually prone... I practice my gift of free will... but hey... to each his own.

No One Offend and Reached His End

his twilight was near
Henry is no longer here
we always did fear

no one did offend
to heaven we had to send
when he reached an end

merry with much mirth
he was merry with much mirth 
departed this earth

away soul scurried
when around he had hurried
body we buried

always was well fed
no longer here and is dead
he has gone to bed

what we must admit
no longer in bed does sit
his heart would quit
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.

This Will Offend

This Will Offend.

The prejudice lurks,
a gestating beast,
hate masquerading as faith,
intolerance as belief,
while,
righteous tongues mouth prayers,
beseeching Him for tax-relief.

I tire of the sermons,
spewed forth each day,
threatening damnation,
promising paradise,
while,
blanketed in the cosy comfort,
of carefully crafted lies,

Do not waste your breath here,
I refuse to succumb to your wiles,
take your God elsewhere,
He is not welcome now,
So,
leave me to my fate,
for I refuse to bow.

Premium Member How Not To Offend God

How Not to Offend God!

The best way to not taunt God I think Christ makes clear
is not saying, “I grok God,” but “trust in God's Grace.”
From the day soul’s assigned us and lives in our flesh
till the day that flesh dies, there’s no act that redeems
us from sin that’s not gift we derive from changed hearts
where the artist is God, and we serve best as clay!
Do you dream you offend GOD by calling God, “Fraud?”
Is your death ‘fraud’ or not? Yes, or no? Who can tell?

It’s the lukewarm lives God loathes, hot/cold lives holds dear!
That you’re awed: say, “God's Fraud!” God says share the same face!
For your doubt is a rose that He knows and deems fresh
as the best. Rare’s the doubter or pundit who schemes
to put God in a headlock, punts, plays for best parts
on earth’s stage, when a fight looms retreats from the fray!
Are the ones who ask questions or silent the odd?
Let me trust God (Truth’s Arrow), drink life from that well!


Long Tooth
August 15th in 2020
Poet's Notes:
Warning: While most of my poems are based on my interpretation of Biblical Scripture, I make no claim that my interpretations are infallable. They all simply share the truth as I know it. Be Blest!

Premium Member I’m Going To Offend You

I’m going to offend you
I will
I might
I won’t
be able to help myself
   help yourself
to my apology
      my diatribe
be my tribe
   I sign
so you can hear me
                     out
don’t shout
don’t be cute
   it’s all about
         love thy neighbor
   the Samaritan
not the cool guy
     the one you hate
ain’t you going to pass him by
                 for the other guy
   you know
the one you like
   who agrees with you
day and night
   like a bobblehead
      see the head a-bobbl’n
try on your neighbor’s shoes
   step in the doo-doo
you think that’s disgusting
      you do   you do
you wipe your neighbor
      off your feet
   don’t care
what side of the fence you’re on
   you’re either kind or not
what kind are you
                                   stop
            don’t even ask
   but do ask
for sugar
      neighbors that’s what they do
or are supposed to
  was that lost
    to the fifties
won’t you even chance
  for peace
seems it’s a split
   crack open the door
a little more
…a little more
and when your at the door
     look ‘em in the eye
      don’t try to sell
‘em a vacuum cleaner
   thank the Lord
no one sells those
      anymore
nor
   encyclopedias
stay away from
   the media
        and
love your neighbor

I Apoligize Did I Offend You

As I begin drinking

comes the stuttered thinking

passions made known

hidden emotions now shown

others views are heard

told by your ignorant words

yes, I sometimes come off as a fool

yet you, you seem to be just a tool

in a media controlled world

bombs dropped, family's lost

death becomes entertainment

money, for forgotten lives

yet you, self centered

offended  by words

spoiled little baby,

get over it.

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