Best Nympho Poems
of Russell's Nymph
the rendered spell, the nymph can tell,
distraction never changes,
i too have been caught as well,
the nympho re arrangement,
i swore by Gaul to end it all,
would run into the ranges,
but quick as night she pinned me tight,
don't ever make love with strangers...
good one Russell mate...
Don
Fishes From Heaven
I’m sorry to leave that dear husband of mine
But Ted will be fine with his rod, reel and line
His love for his fishing left me in the shade
I often said Ted should have wed a mermaid
When I get to heaven, I don’t want a harp
Just send me back as a bloody great carp
If that cannot be then my gift from above
I’ll send Ted a forty pound pike with my love
He’d have little use for a nympho or wench
But he wouldn't say no to a ten pound tench
A monster sized barbel? Should I grant that wish?
Or get him to battle a monster catfish
So I can rest easy, at peace where I’m laid
Or sat on a cloud where I might see Ted wade
Into the lake where he’ll slip his big net
Under my gift that’s his biggest fish yet
I just think it’s fair that somehow I thank
My husband for fishing...
So I could see Frank.
2 February 2019
Contest: If I had a secret life
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
Stop resenting me
For the way I shop
The things I do
To make sure
My food is fresh
I confess I feel blueberries
In my fingers
To make sure they are firm
Not too ripe
I confess I shake
Cans of spaghetti and ravioli
So that I know
The sauce is not
Congealed
I confess I pull frozen waffles
From the back of the freezer
Less likely that they thawed
And refroze into
Oddball shapes
I confess I smell trout
Before I buy it
Placing it against my nose
In the most unabashed
Way
Spare me your hate
About my consumer habits
When I know it has nothing to do with
Food
As long as I bring you warm release
In the darkness of your desires
Pull your tangled hair the way
You like
Bite your darting tongue
In mad hunger
Deep appetite
As long as I reawaken the
Woman
Primal animal hidden
Within
Turn your heat into a river
For a long passionate
Swim
As long as I attend quickly to your
Every lusty command
The craving of your nympho
Insatiable
Demand
Then I can squeeze french bread
In quiet and peace
I can sniff cantaloupes
Without suffering ire
Or grief
I’ll take you tonight
In that filthy way
You like
Until then
Leave me alone
I’m shopping.
On Monday I saw you
On Tuesday I knew
That when Wednesday came round
I would be in love with you
On Thursday I found you
Naked in my bath
When I dropped my trousers
My , How you did laugh.
On Friday I decided
A willy extension I need
I've booked the operation
Oh how I hope it succeeds
On Saturday we try out
my new foot long tool
People passing heard you cry out
I thought that was cool.
On Sunday I'm shattered
I've been such a big hit
but now you are demanding
I send you into orbit.
In January its freezing
So we stay in bed
In February I'm wheezing
From all you offered .
In March I am thinking
Of visiting the doctor again
But you promise Viagra
Will help ease my pain.
In April I realise
What a fool I have been
My willy became a throne
and you were my queen.
In May you are dancing
Around my rigid pole
In June you are romancing
and I must play your fantasy role.
In July I need a holiday
My body needs rest
but you won't keep your hands still
Until I meet your request.
In August I'm planning
A week on my own
You won't give me any time for eating
and I'm all skin and bone .
In September my member
Becomes my flexible friend
but the relief is so brief
Because your skill has no end .
In October I'm dreaming
Of chopping it off
but you pretend you're the doctor
and I am to cough.
In November I'm flagging
I can't take much more
but I live with a nympho shopaholic
and I am the store .
In December my member
In plastic is cast
I'll wrap it for you at Christmas
and I can have some peace at last.
Back turned on the world ain't nothin for me, wear shades at night protect my eyes from all my glory, true story." Living legend something like Robert Horry, oldest friend that’s still here- shout out to my man Corey
And that was just the intro, just to tease your nympho, allow me to unwind and set the tempo…
Sometimes it’s hard to stay focused
Hocus-pocus, no magic, just a prayer I prayed as I wrote this
And sometimes life is hopeless, but I’d be foolish to give up( in time I learned this)
I’m just thinking aloud now and I find it sad how
The pressures of life make even me wrinkle my brown brow.
It’s hard to imagine- life without passion,
But that’s how it is when all the lights stop flashing.
But don’t stop acting, life is a job that’s never done
Second place is fine but there’s a vacancy at number one.
Sometimes it’s all easy, possibly elementary
While other times it’s harder than a Shakespeare soliloquy.
Sometimes we think that we could make it on our own,
But everyone wants someone to be there when they get home
No one truly ever wants to be alone
Imagine what life would be like if no one dialed your phone.
Everyone’s looking for someone, that minor to make them prominent
The piece to your missing puzzle, the ultimate compliment.
Single is temporary, love’s everlasting feel is imminent.
When you find it, cherish it, and thank God it’s heaven-sent.
Olé
Our nympho neighbour called Lucille
Yodels after sex, how she'd squeal
My poor husband Paul
Just bangs on the wall
As paper thin walls aren't ideal!
Lu’s bonking for hour upon hour
Just pausing to grab a quick shower
Though she’s aged ninety eight
Lucille’s sex life is great -
Young lovers have got staying power!
01/28/21
A is for Ant (and for ass, your dad is an example of an ass)
B is for Bee (and for b*stard, your dad is a bast*rd - first class)
C is for Chicken (and for a word I don’t want to say - but see K)
D is for Dog (and also for Dynamite - which I’d like to shove up your dad’s... see A)
E is for Eagle (and for egotistical effing... see K... and C)
F is for Frog (and for Fu*ker, which your dad’s been doing with someone who isn’t me)
G is for Giraffe (and for Git - your dad is a Git... and he has two faces)
H is for Horse (and for Hard Up - which your dad was... in too many places)
I is for Insect (and for Insolvent, which thanks to me, he’ll soon be, with just one legal shove)
J is for Jellyfish (and Judas. Your Dad’s a Judas... with a rash from his illicit love)
K is for Kitten (and for making some words sound worse - see C)
L is for Lion (and Lobster, a creature with claws that belongs at the bottom of the sea - hmmm...)
M is for Mouse (and for machete and for manhood... which gives me an idea)
N is for Newt (and Nymphomaniac - neither should work at IKEA)
O is for Owl (and Optimistic, well, he thought that he left me fulfilled)
P is for Penguin (and for Philandering, at which your daddy is skilled)
Q is for Quail (and for Quickie, the best that your daddy could do)
R is for Rabbit (and Rampant - and once I got that, how did we get you?)
S is for Snail (and for Slug, which describes both your dad and his di*k)
T is for Tiger (and Torrid, your dad was this with some Randy chick)
U is for Unicorn (and Underhand, your dad was this night and day)
V is for Vole (and also VD, hence the rash that was listed in J)
W is for Worm (and for Merchant Banker, thats rhyming slang for your father)
X is for Xerus (and X-rated gel, I bet he’ll work up quite a lather)
Y is for Yak (and for Yesterday’s News, which is all your dad turns out to be
Z is for Zebra (and for Zeees, that his Nympho is catching, asleep next to me)
*
[Xerus is a genus of African ground squirrel]
Poisen in the well and you offer me a drink.
kiss do tell sweetheart.
Where coming to a slow decline I think.
I swear on the bible I got from a hotel.
Dreams of rejection without protection.
Sweetness that smile has shades of a afterglow
to another more than secrets do you tell.
Were a couple in a sense were two.
Well your having a affair with the rock solid
trainer who would have knew.
Well except for the fact that you took him to are favorite bar.
Hey did ya have to bring him home?
No he cant have my last beer what a classy act you are.
It's pretty bad when on are honey moon you
cheated with some dude on the flight over.
Anyone got a pill for this bad emotional hangover.
I belive honey you got some screws loose in that pretty
little head.
Yes I understand you wanna help the homeless.
And uh no the beah bum cant share are bed.
Im just saying maybe a doctor would be what
i would recommend.
I knew she nympho from the start.
It was such a great start i hope this isnt
the end.
Well she a little bad sleeping with my next door neighbor
the gardner the pool boy and my best friend.
Most the population of earth noneed to pretend.
Okay and the ups guy the pizza boy even the janitor at school.
My little brother and grandad okay with that im not cool.
My god if i wasnt already crazy into madness I would decend.
It's such a great start.
please tell me were at the end.
My uncle is married to Brandie -
A nympho who’s frequently randy
If she’s in the mood
He’s no chance of food -
Their dining table comes in handy!
Limerick Fun Poetry Contest
Sponsored By Tania Kitchin
08/29/20
Useless and awful,
Far away from beautiful,
Not a friend, not a foe,
Minding my life and my woe,
Down with the fever of a nympho,
I cried ho… ho… ho,
When came your eyes toward pointing at my low,
Darling unleashed into the jungle of prejudice and honey and silk flows,
Enemy of mine with eyes such divine,
Cries my heart where did you go?
Agony of mine, my red wine,
Where did you go?
Thought you I will die,
Without you I won’t survive,
O you ugly thief I erase you,
I raise you,
To my lips in your last breath and kiss you softly like we never met,
O you monstrous Jonah I forgive you,
For breaking in and jinxing my kismet,
Drown in the sea or,
Lie awake by your death,
Leave quietly or,
Shoot some in the air,
Tell you bizarre foreigner I don’t care,
When I raise you to my lips to kiss softly and stare.
My nympho neighbour’s Sugar Cookie
She’s well known for her love of nookie,
Now she’s up the duff
Her hubs in a huff
And spends all his time with the bookie
For my on line friend 'Sugar Cookie' who is expecting her baby in January
09/14/20
CHAMPAGNE CHEERS AND CHEAP BEERS JEERS
Cheers to women who bend over a chair
Jeers to ladies who won’t bare what their bodies ought bear
Hurray for every lady I lay
Hurrah for every bra that falls upon my floor
Praise to women going through a nympho phase
Applause for women who pause to f*ck me
I’m clapping for lovers who don’t have the clap
I’m giving a standing ovation for women who are not experiencing ovulation
I roar for every whore and horny woman
And Lord protect the lord of protection
Because their ain’t no maybes
I don’t need no f*cking babies
© 2012 copy write…..PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
I want a girl that I can meet
Greet
And eat
No wining and dining just straight to the treat
A fit sexy mamma with a J Lo seat
Someone that can do things I never thought of before
One I can scream “Yea baby give me more
Maybe paddle me ass with a boat oar
Then when we finished there’s the door
I want to be satisfied through to the inner core
Left panting helplessly on the floor
One when she leaves I say “Where you going girl?”
This is the intermission between my thrill
I need you until I get my fill
I wanna grind her like corn in my flour mill
So if you know this girl and have the info
Let me know, yours truly, Nympho
My uncle is married to Brandie -
A nympho who’s frequently randy
If she’s in the mood
He’s no chance of food ...
Their dining table comes in handy!
My uncle he dresses so dapper
Whilst Brandie resembles a slapper
Tight tops plunge so low
Huge boobies on show
Their neighbours wife sure wants to slap her
The neighbour’s husband has now clued
That Brandie sunbathes in the nude
He’ll climbs up his stairs
And views all she bares
To 'bird watching' he is now glued!
Part 1 written for Tania's contest but i couldnt resist extending the poem
08/30/20
I think I’m in danger
I could end up dead
When my wife smells the perfume
on her side of the bed
The perfumes I buy her
From a cheap back-street dive
Don’t smell like this perfume
It’s Chanel number Five
She’s been away a few days
Visiting her sick mother
So I brought home a Nympho
For a bit of the other
But my wife said this bedroom
Always smells of rank farts
But it now smells like a boudoir
That’s frequented by tarts
She’d smelt it and I told her
What jumped into my head
That the little Lord Jesus
Was asleep in our bed
But he smelt just like a manger
Kinda sawdust and dung
So I sprayed him with perfume
Well it had to be done
She cursed and I was thrown out
By the tip of her toe
And I flew through the doorway
Coming down in the snow
So it seems that like Mary
During that first Christmas
I shall go to meet Jesus
While I’m sat on my ass