Terry Flood Poet Rhyme

I Think Im In Danger - Away In a Manger Parody

I think I’m in danger
I could end up dead
When my wife smells the perfume
on her side of the bed
The perfumes I buy her
From a cheap back-street dive
Don’t smell like this perfume
It’s Chanel number Five

She’s been away a few days
Visiting her sick mother
So I brought home a Nympho 
For a bit of the other
But my wife said this bedroom
Always smells of rank farts
But it now smells like a boudoir
That’s frequented by tarts

She’d smelt it and I told her
What jumped into my head
That the little Lord Jesus
Was asleep in our bed
But he smelt just like a manger
Kinda sawdust and dung
So I sprayed him with perfume
Well it had to be done

She cursed and I was thrown out
By the tip of her toe
And I flew through the doorway
Coming down in the snow
So it seems that like Mary
During that first Christmas      
I shall go to meet Jesus
While I’m sat on my ass

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Paula Goldsmith December 21, 2021 at 9:42 AM A cute/fun write. Thanks for the laugh.  Have a Blessed Christmas and 2022....................... Terry Flood December 21, 2021 at 11:03 AM Thank you, Paula, I’ve done three parodies this Christmas, but this is my favourite. Terry

Eve Roper December 2, 2021 at 6:27 PM hahahaha, cold ass huh Terry Flood December 3, 2021 at 11:04 AM Chilly baubles are not to be sniffed at, Eve, Terry

Ilene Bauer December 1, 2021 at 4:59 PM you are so funny, terry! this one is especially clever, with the perfect ending line. well done! Terry Flood December 2, 2021 at 6:03 AM Thanks Ilene. I always hope our devout friends will see the tongue in cheek humour in my jovial digs at religion and not take offence. Of course, if they’re right… GULP! Sooner or later, I’ll have to explain myself. Eek! ;-) Terry

Tom Cunningham December 1, 2021 at 1:48 PM Lol, never scrimp on the perfume, the ladies can smell a fake a mile off. Hope you're well Terry, been away for a few days, Shrewsbury and Chester, Tom Terry Flood December 1, 2021 at 2:49 PM Thanks, Tom. Hope you had a good time away. Terry

L Milton Hankins December 1, 2021 at 1:47 PM Delightful! Funny, funny. Inspired me to think about writing a parody on a Christmas carol. This is so damned funny, Terry. You have such a sense of humor!!! L Milton Hankins December 1, 2021 at 7:03 PM Indeed, we do, but it works well with the tune I am most familiar with, American-style. Terry Flood December 1, 2021 at 2:55 PM I only found out today, that the UK and America has different melodies for Away In A Manger. So I crossed my fingers that it would still work. Glad you enjoyed, Milt. Terry

David Kavanagh December 1, 2021 at 12:42 PM Crazy stuff Terry, the excuses that might jump into one’s heads if nearly caught in the act, madcap humour as always, you could’ve said it was a stray sheep you put up for the night, but I’m guessing the end result would be the same, cheers David Terry Flood December 1, 2021 at 2:58 PM Thanks, David. Alas, she had already found the sheep in the spare room. ;-) Terry