Best Meese Poems
I failed English in High School
Could not understand the writing rule
If I say, when it reigns it pores, people agree
Yet when I write the same phrase people say what’s wrong with me
I before E (accept) after C less it sounds like an a as in neighbor or weigh
Where do the words foreign and sovereign (steigh)
Do they stay with a goose among geese or with a moose among (meese)
Do they live in a house with a scavenger mouse or something much bigger
Is there several (hice) with several scavenger mice
It's true, the plural of moose is meese
Just like the plural of goose is geese
Who wrote the rules
To meese, it's cruel
Wanna be normal, this silliness must cease
I always thought you were like Pan
Ageless,would never die
But Deaths kiss came so swiftly
You left us high and dry.
No last farewell
No parting words
No comfort or compassion
Death reared his head
And covered you
In a cold and heartless fashion.
The hands of time turn so slowly
But our minds spin out of control
Replaying over and over again
The departure of your soul
But the tears we cry will not resurrect you
Back to this cruel, hard place
All we have are our thoughts of you
And the memory of your face.
(for my Cousin Ronnie Meese, tragically killed 07/27/11,aged 58)
We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get thinner!
We drive on a parkway and park on a driveway
This play on words sure can confuse
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
One moose, two meese, how do we choose?
Make amends always seems to be plural
Can't we make one amend I'd like to know!
One tooth, two teeth, why not one booth two beeth?
And why shouldn't you pick your seat at a show?
A slim chance and a fat chance mean the same
But a wise man and a wise guy are opposites
The weather is either hot as hell or cold as hell
I know it's confusing but don't take a fit!
This English language can be oh so confusing
It can drive you to distraction at times
But try to learn Chinese or Mandarin my friend
You'll realize the English language is divine!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Rosie played the Hammond Organ at the church
This week she left us in a real lurch
For Rosie went off with one of those vaccum salesmen
Who turned her eye wearing Spandex boxer shorts on tight skin
The choir director will be in dire straits
Because a mouse built his house in the organ with his mate
We placed a listern soaked tissue in there
Hoping it will stink those meese away __that pair
Now Rosie's husband is one medicine for insomnia and emotional pain
He's drifting in and out of being nearly insane
I heard some tid bits the other day
At the convention for women only what can I say
Well this is it, "Rosie's now playing gigs
At the "Wormholes" all night club where truckers park their own rig."
It's right next to those lunar craters
Where in their kitchen at night the vacuum salesman peels potatoes
That night they saw a UFO land and steal nuclear waste
And this was beyond half-past eight
When Rosie wined and dined her friends
She told them the whole weird story..The End..
Believe it or not your choice....
If the plural of mouse is mice,
And more than one louse is lice,
Then it seems to me, that logically,
The plural of grouse should be grice.
A single goose duplicates into geese,
A mongoose produces mongooses,
So let me stick out my neck
And ask why the heck
The plural of moose is moose,
And not meese,
Or much better yet,
Why not mooses?
Author's note: Dear reader, if you're interested in a little more along this line, I invite you to take a look at my article/essay, "The Wonderfully Awful English Language".
We're having friends for dinner on Saturday
Well we're not actually having them for dinner!
That statement implies that we're cannibalistic
And our list of friends would get thinner!
We drive on a parkway and park on a driveway
This play on words sure can confuse
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
One moose, two meese, how do we choose?
Make amends always seems to be plural
Can't we make one amend I'd like to know!
One tooth, two teeth, why not one booth two beeth?
And why shouldn't you pick your seat at a show?
A slim chance and a fat chance mean the same
But a wise man and a wise guy are opposites
The weather is either hot as hell or cold as hell
I know it's confusing but don't take a fit!
This English language can be oh so confusing
It can drive you to distraction at times
But try to learn Chinese or Mandarin my friend
You'll realize the English language is divine!
©Jack Ellison 2012
Little itty-bitty mouse,
In the laundry room.
I have seen you scuttling, scratching about,
I've seen you a few times,
Dancing on the jarred food tops,
Playing peek-a-boo between them and,
Running back and forth between cupboard and washer.
Little itty-bitty mouse,
Where is the rest of your meese family?
At home I hope, for you alone are enough,
So please tell them stories, but do not invite.
It won't be so pleasent for me to see your
Meese family dancing on my jar tops,
and playing peek-a-boo all the time.
Little, itty-bitty mouse,
In the laundry room.
I hear you scuttlin, scratching about every now and then,
I've seen you dancing, playing peek-a-boo and running.
But please don't stay too long,
And please don't invite your meese friends and family to play too.
-------------------------------I failed English in High School
Could not understand the writing rule
If I say, when it reigns it pores, people agree
Yet when I write the same phrase people say what’s wrong with me
I before E (accept) after C less it sounds like an a as in neighbor or weigh
Where do the words foreign and sovereign (steigh)
Do they stay with a goose among geese or with a moose among (meese)
Do they live in a house with a scavenger mouse or something much bigger
Is there several (hice) with several scavenger mice
Collective nouns, what do you mean?
Let me present-
A gaggle of geese,
A moose and some meese,
A tuft of grass,
And a band of thieves,
A fleet of ships,
And a flock of sheep
A flock of sheep?
Well, if the goose is geese,
geese are a gaggle,
moose is meese,
So, why is it not a shoop and a sheep?
ENGLISH! I think I might even sue!
I will take you to the BENCH of judges,
There we will resume!
You make a porridge of words
In your cauldron of 'sense',
Whilst you horridly cackle!
Your words need to be observed
Under a great big lens!
If the plural form of "goose" is "geese",
why isn't the plural of "moose" "meese"?
Cheph111ChapterThree:
Cheph111ChapterThree:
IN the desert with Stokker.
We stayed five days with no food at all or water mabe some eye scrounged along
the roadside there is almost no containers this far out on the reservation. The
stokker almost lost it but he made it. It is very hard to kick the habit of a 5o year
old lifetime. ALCHOL is insidious and hard to maintain a sober to hang on to but
FIVE days of cold turkey can be happy to a man who wants to work and fly a
galaxy in a gorgeous spaceship with an android and a lady. Marylin was happy
to see a sober stokker and this is how it happened.
The first day he lay on his belly and cried for want. Eye carefully unloaded his
back pack but all he had was two tins of food and he could only eat the halve of
one it was a chore even at this point for all he ever wanted on the world of
NEWTONIA was to go into the city of BOSTONIA and get some more of his
refuel. A Drink is hard to kick. A man enjoys the brew and gulps it down just like
a hound of hell with demons chasing him to heaven. The antidote to drinking is
just want. Never will this damping man ever need to want another drink on the
third day out he was seeing things, Giant bison Giant Moose with horns bigger
than a house Giant dinosaurs OH part of him it knoe that the visions was not real
but it was OH so real rally real LOOKING see but the absence of the noises was
comforting to him. NO ROARS, no stompings of the thundering of hoofs. This
poet now a writer wants to add it was the hooves not hoofs. For there was man
herd that day or is it herds of meese and dinomeese. The last day out eye went
to the Indians on the edge of the wetnesses where they gave me food for the
stokker. At first so horrified at the new mee the android the CHARLAX one. What
are you they asked in abject horror and eye answered them in android fashion
eye have a sober.
And he needs some human food to continue on his program. Though they are
from a different tribe than ewe they met my needs that day with bread and beans
and soup and coffee too. OH lamb oh ewe. The now sober stokker ate just like a
king and then he ate again it was a gift from Indians.
Some lives I had more time alone,
This life though has too much life owned,
I wish I could go back to the day,
I did my fusion dance with my mirror saw an overlay,
The overlay was me slightly delayed,
So when I moved it was multiple meese,
Different colors transparent but geeze,
It called me weak in a deep voice but in my mind,
Asked to switch places,
Better then drugs some ancient rituals done out of love,
Or should I say lack of anyway,
Last girl to deny me gave me that day.
This earth we walk...so unique, so grand
A marvel to behold, from its mountains to its sand,
Tree covered valleys, meadows of quiet peace,
Home to many creatures, from eagle to "meese",
I love to see the mountains, and the valleys so pristine,
The powdered clouds above, and the rivers, oh so clean
The marvel of a simple tree, the song of a bird,
Competes with any other sound you have ever heard,
And, oh, the moon, rising in the sky,
What better treat, for us to eye,
And stars, those mighty suns,
So very far away....
I only but wish one thing,
That we could see them in the day
All these wonderous things,
So thrilling to taste now,
Pale by comparison,
to just one thing, I vow..
That's the simple smile
On a lover's face,
The gentle touch and intense rush,
Of a passionate embrace,
God has been good to us,
We should always remember this
And if you did kill yourself,
Think what you might miss.
Riguel Meese
287 Limousin Drive
Cattle City, Ribeye
00280
------------------------------
Deer Serve,
I recently saw Saddles teaks
at the Market. Noun I think
these things were wrong with it.
Aint have no Wiffyoursista or
nothing. Ya'll no better than that!
And Broth or. I tell ya: ya'll no
better than that! And why those
heifers protesting the usage of
leather
in coats when it's cold. Y'all no better
that that. A long horn Steer!
A beliguim Blue
New York strips
and the Jersey's does too!
And where is the Cow
Palace. Do they serve steaks there?
Bife or beef.
Stable, down pasture there.
He aint noFlank, you think he's
a flank. Moo this man! Moo this!
Alage green, Change water.
_______________________________
Sent Steerly Yours
Angus Angus Cow
"Alfalfa Eater"