Best Mayhem Poems
Today I met a mosquito
It wasn’t very fun
She bit me here, she nipped me there
(she even bit my bum)
But I had the last laugh...
I squashed her with my thumb!
1st November 2015
World abandonment
vanity infests
greed escalates
charity nullified
Competitive paradise
prices uncontrollable
hunger staggering
debt maximized
Honest lost
integrity futile
words misconstrued
greed rapid
Equality vanished
pensions minute
labor intensified
jobs down sized
World absorbed
humans consumed
profits soar
mortgages abandoned
World immobilized
composure lost
hope desperate
destruction eminent.
beautiful wedding
priest gave a lovely talk
message was “marry someone you are proud of”
Three couples broke up during the reception
Socialized behavior went out the window
Yelling, screaming, throwing of chairs
Rings were thrown
Accusations were shrieked
Guests got more than they paid for
Priest took another sip of red wine
Having no idea that he was the instigator of the mayhem
Written: October 19, 2023, For Tania Kitchen Spooky Halloween Contest
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Hope is buried, gulping Satan of the Night.
Its odd, dreadful beats drove in schizo sight.
Sweet dread awaits the fair-headed, awful stride.
As fear drew closer, it heard the sad words abide.
They were expressionless, their bodies obeying.
Love, it's ignored—bleeding hearts break, swaying.
They recall dread and can tell a horrific story well.
A red-hot sword could lure Satan from his shell.
Haunting, poltergeists, and zombies are the core
At Halloween, they shine as murderers may abhor.
Undermining existence in horror's catacombs
Blood and mayhem are the spooky twin gnomes.
Become a demon, and I'll stay at Dracula castle.
Awaken afraid from a lucid state, scared of hassle.
Amidst a Halloween party, I was stuck in despair.
Fear remains upon me after a spooky nightmare.
People walking head down staring into their cell phones
In pairs or all alone
Children pushing their children in buggies and prams
Traffic wardens and traffic jams
Zombies trying to walk through you with masses of shopping bags
Gangs of girls gangs of lads
Shop window displays to entice
Everything from ladies knickers
Toys and carving knifes
Shoppers sat in fish tanks having tea
Long queues at the bakery
Pregnant girls in tight fitting skimpy clothes
People with tattoos and rings through their nose
Police officers out for a gentle walk on a summers day
While the robbers elsewhere make a clean get away
Unruly children screaming
Clouds of choking cigarette smoke
People laughing telling jokes
Shoppers taking a rest on a bench
Old men staring at young wench
A busker playing the same song over and over on guitar
For pennies hoping someone passing
Will make them a star
Street vendor vultures prey on the unaware
''Have you had an accident''? money signs in their eyes
Bad accident they don't care
Gangs of people stood in shop doorways
So you can't get in
Lads like me trying to impress the girls
and holding our beer bellies in
Bargain here bargain there
This weeks special offer managers special
A broken chair
Knuckle dragger unshaven smelly men
With model looking babes how on earth do they get them?
Free passes to the gym if you're fat we''ll make you slim
Bumping into people that you know
Hows uncle Howard and his poorly toe
A glimpse of life on a weekend in town
Don't miss a bargain get on down.
Peter Dome.Copyright.2015.May.
"American Grafitti" took me back again to High School in the 1960's
"Back to the Future's" nifty hot rod took me back in time and almost left me!
"City Slickers" took me way out west, to rustle cows and ride a horse
"Da Vinci's" code, did not bode well, the Vatican did not endorse!
"E. T. " turned out to be my friend, we peddled bikes far past the moon
"Forrest Gump" shared my lunch, and shared his chocolate just past noon
"Groundhog Day" is darn confusing, is it Monday or is it Tuesday?
"Hannibal" is one cruel dude,..........he sharpens teeth so he can chew me!!
"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" invited me to toast their wedding
"Jaws" invited me to take a swim! Those who did, were soon regretting!
"King Kong", was one poor ape who climbed too high for past mistakes,
"Lincoln" had too much at stake, but ended war between the states
"Mummy 1" and "Mummy 2" made me cry for Mommy,...PLEASE!
"No Country for Old Men"...but young dudes look, and want to leave!
"O' Brother Where Are Thou?" escaped their chains to play like Ringo
"Psycho's" bathtubs scare me silly, my next motel will be Flamingo's
"Quarantine" because I'm sick? If I stay in bed, they call me lazy
"Rosemary's Baby"...yikes that kid? Babysit....?? Are you crazy?
"Superman" claimed that he could help me, but flew away with no advice
"Titanic" hit a piece of ice, (that Superman was not so nice!)
"Unforgiven" (now is Superman)...Clint Eastwood is the slicker guy
"Valkyrie"'s plot has thickened...Let's all poke Hitler in the eye!
"When Harry Met Sally" I was jealous....her cafe' scene has made me blush
Xanadu had me roller skating.......racing faster, while I'm dating
"Young Sherlock Holmes" was just a kid, I kid you not, he met his Watson
"Zoolander" 's slacks were Cuban made.. I borrowed some and they were awesome!
(and I'm exhausted!)
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For Cyndi's exhausting ABC contest!! Whew!
This little tiny Nation standing upon all that they have faced
Nearing their last station for which they have always braced
Continually under attack intensifying from nearly every side
If you're keeping track already convicted before being tried
And there sits the Valley which was so appropriately named
Just between you and me the Lord God will not be shamed
And as such tensions rise and new relationships are sealed
No one should be surprised when the whole thing is revealed
There they sit among themselves waiting for the next attack
The whole entire world delves but the knowledge they lack
So lacking in the Word of God their minds now so twisted
So it's, Israel they prod and their Army God has enlisted
Look out enemies of Israel too wicked to see it coming
Oh for sure you will feel a defeat that is mind-numbing
Megiddo being the place where a river of blood will run
In now not taking His Grace you'll be judged by His Son
Zechariah 12:3 and 9
And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people:
all that burden themselves with it shall be cut in pieces,
though all the people of the earth be gathered together against it.
9) And it shall come to pass in that day,
that I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.
If God seeks to destroy you, goodbye!
Been lovingly called the Master of Mayhem
By Jonathan Wulf a real giant among men
A compliment it is
In return here's this
Just officially baptized him a Master Among Friends
© Jack Ellison 2015
Nymphomania Is all she can grant you along with a well spent night
This femme fatale isn't something A man can't handle
A sex-fiend straight from the chamber of Satan
A desire so strong
It won't ever feel wrong
A mistress of melancholy
She took over my soul
The amphetamine addiction
Of her deadly embrace
Her sweet poisonous grace
Her heroin laced lips
Oh how her venom drips
All beware of a sensual destruction
The comely fatal femme
This sexual gem
Stay away from miss mayhem
Disaster is what she is
A taste of her could make you leave
All other vices and loves
Would you ever think of the price
For an eternity you'll be condemne
dEven just for one night with miss mayhem
This vamp of pain all life she will drain, this is addicting whore
Is all you will adore
Exciting and erotic
Using all fetishes against your soul
Your wife will surely lament
From this dreadful strife
A mistress of melancholy
She took over my soul
The amphetamine addiction
Of her deadly embrace
Her sweet poisonous grace
Her heroin laced lips
Oh how her venom drips
All beware of a sensual destruction
The comely fatal femme
This sexual gem
Stay away from miss mayhem
A plague of pleasure
The flead rats couldn't even measure
Against the scourge of men
A mistress of melancholy
She took over my soul
The amphetamine addiction
Of her deadly embrace
Her sweet poisonous grace
Her heroin laced lips
Oh how her venom drips
All beware of a sensual destruction
The comely fatal femme
This sexual gem
Stay away from miss mayhem
P eace denied for profit and idealism
A dmiration for false leaders
N eighbourhoods run by gangs
D evotion manipulated to be misunderstood
E nlightenment set on fire
M ovements become violent
O pportunity means take
N ormal is never enough
I nsight means you started it
U nite is a riot
M ajority fifty plus one could be expensive
A few meters from me is a man
on the breadline; secluded; a beggar—
with his cluttered suit and long parched hair—
add to that a greasy hand
beseeching silvers from the people
wryly staring at him
(at the life he didn’t choose) as they pass by;
but no one seemed to mind.
At the other flank of the street is a soul—
murdered; guillotined; a victim—
amid her blood-smeared gown
she has been sauntering back and forth:
pleading for justice
(and perhaps searching for her head);
but how could people help out,
they couldn’t notice her.
Above me is a bird—
homeless; ravenous; a sufferer
of men’s egotistical doings.
Now he has nowhere to go—
no trees to put up a nest;
(and possibly, no bird of the same feather);
and a breeze of infected air—
all because no one seemed to care.
As the day turned into night—
uplifted; inspired; a noble man I became,
by these enormous stories I witnessed
that only few are able to see.
A cowboy, and his horse with no name,
One day rode into town, seeking fame.
Where he shot the town marshal,
But it was only partial.
Now the lawman's new horse is named flame.
5 / 5 / 2022.
Sponsor Joseph May.
For the contest. A Cowboy Limerick.
High Noon.
Howmanysyllables.com
Husbands can be sweet and kind
Good traits you will always find
Never knowing what they'll do
Days are crazy all week through
But sometimes they will throw a curve
Getting on your only nerve
Doing something not so great
As they start to aggravate
Pushing you over the edge
As they're hanging by a thread
There's a list that I can tell
That always puts me right through hell
Of the things my man has done
Taking away all the fun
Like when he cries and loudly whines
When he's not feeling so fine
Acting like a little baby
Just drives me insane and crazy
Or day in and out I say
Put all your loose stuff away
But he likes to leave it out
Making me just scream and shout
When he's bored I want to run
Until his boredoms finally done
Because he hangs all over me
It is pure insanity
He doesn't want to talk until
I come home and want to chill
Then he finds a lot to say
And it happens every day
I'm an adult--this he can't see
Treating me like a baby
It was cute and sweet at first
But now it makes me want to burst
I love my hubby with my heart
And have from the very start
But some days I just want to shake
All this nonsense he can make
Right out of his silly head
On second thought I think instead
I wont change a single thing
I like the mystery he brings
To every one of my days
He is mine and that's O.K.
Sleepy, I walked down the senior hallway
The last door on the left seemed miles away
But I was determined to make it
It was 7:26 in the morning, assignment due 7:30
My hands were sweating bullets
Felt as if every senior had their eyes on me
Assignment in hand, I started my journey
Nerd, jocks, cheerleaders all bunched together in one walk-way
You would think I was a running back, of some sort
Dodging the potential mayhem
Judy with the big booty was being so loud
Laughing and screaming with her friends
Drew and the crew obnoxious as usual,
Were going over plays, at least it looked like it
Trampling any victim in their path
The Nerd Bird flocking in e=mc2
Calculate who will have a date in time for prom
Starting with Judy, my hands were no match
The sound waves catapulted me into the lockers
Side to side I juked, spun, and jumped
Like a magnet bouncing off the rhinoceros crew
For the Nerds, I only had to say one thing…
“I already have a date for prom…”
That sent them into a mathematical frenzy
Looking at their watches they said, “Prom is exactly
218 days 13 hours 27 minutes and 10 seconds away…
There is no way you have your date!”
While they babbled on I was on the move
The last mayhem was upon me: The hall monitor
He already saw my awesome display of athleticism
But didn’t find it amusing, He was one of those guys…
If you dropped a piece of paper on the floor, detention
I just distracted him by saying, “I didn’t have breakfast…”
We both didn’t know where that came from
So I just kept waking while he was still confused
Stumbled into class, discrediting my previous display
And turned in my homework assignment
Welcome, to my country.
Where we experienced load shedding.
No Wi-Fi, petrol sky high.
Politicians fighting battles to stay on top,
Less money for you to shop.
The poor has to beg and plea,
Daily on every corner and street.
While politicians’ lives a rich life,
From tax payers, they milk every dime.
We are a box of smarties,
While politicians sleeps with different parties.
During election they pick and choose,
Which color to use.
We are not the rainbow nation anymore,
Some parties’ mayhem caused it for sure.