Best Lube Poems
"How to tame the madness"
As I sit here, with intense dirty desire,
Tonight I think of you (the moon and stars)
To you, I send a redolent saimiri kiss
Read and breathe between fine lewd lines
Perfumed by the colors of the Enticing Equinox
Sensually, I create sweet serendipity
Inviting playful lips
Erotic wind and wild wanderlust
Streams like a river through time
I propose a good potion of wet lube
Take me to the furtive imagination of your soul
Embrace the tan and texture tonight
Touch the summer ripples riding high
Promiscuous and delicate, I advocate lust
A quilt meant for deep and trenchant love
I shut my eyes to feel an Orphic flora floor
Stimulating a hot, sultry siren kettle
On this night the tingle of passion penetrates
A hypnotic talisman that lets me, please
Inviting ----------- You
~*~
Wanna make a baby?
Here's how it goes....
The ***** enters the vagina.
Then out comes a flow.
Meanwhile from the ovary,
down the fallopian tube.
A tiny egg is swimmimg
and plops into the uterine lube.
After a fierce battle
the fastest sperm wins.
Brakes through the egg's shell.
Then multiplication in ovum begins.
Oxygen and nutrients flow
through the umbilical cord.
From after birth on uterine wall.
Or placenta as it's sometimes called.
A little baby is growing fast.
Nine months to be exact.
The womb then contracts.
These are the facts.
Out pops a baby...
Simple as that!
Cold blue sky and water are frozen hard as iron
Our noses get stuffy it needs a little need lube
Lovers curled up on a bench, lined with the finest fur
Drifting emotions with romantic snow crystal kisses
With frosty mornings, crisp days and powdery snow
Ice spikes in the shape of an inverted pyramid
Nature's dazzling beauty in winter landscape
The snow cracks and crunches under your feet
Eyes of awe and wonder in recognition of how we are blessed
Reborn in childhood memories flood the nostalgic senses
Between fall and spring cling to each moment you get
Let your heart guide you, through a fun path through life
Universe that bends above us hides something much bigger
Every season feels like beautiful Shakespeare's sonnets
Set an intention, listen and enjoy the blues of the cold winter
27/09/2020
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
Pick-A-Title, Vol 23 - Seasonal Acrostic
Sponsored by: Edward Ibeh
1st place in the contest
I am tired of making lists for the store, I can't even get out the door. Last year is over and so are my thoughts, I tied them all in knots. I am tired of stinky thinking, so maybe I should take up drinking. My mind has been working overtime, and not on just a new rhyme. My car got a lube and oil, My thoughts need some new planting soil. Mind toss out the old and bring in the new, I refuse to spend this year blue.
Date Written: 1/8/2021
1/10/2021 Poem of the Day win.
my keyboard sometimes sticks and snarls up my story
went to the store and got jiffy lube and what a glory
my fingers slide across the letters typing faster
did a quick hit of the duster called air blaster.
the light on the screen will often blink
I plugged in my generator into the back link
now the screen has 300 watt illumination
and the audio sound has quality combination.
feels like I am sitting in the theater now
there is a lot of keys I haven’t learn what or how
there is a tool box but not like mine in the garage
a menu that has no food listed is a sabotage.
Excel is just another brick in the wall
which has nothing to help me at all
the command prompt has deaf ears
doesn’t follow thru and no changing gears.
Monopoly is easier to learn than a computer
I started too late, I must have a tutor
I’m still trying to figure out about windows
often my sites disappear and fall like dominoes.
I got a security package to protect my skill
but viruses still enter and that’s no thrill
they try to scam me and pretend they’re real
offering me a vacation that is a bogus deal.
they want my personal information to cheat on me
enabling them to use my credit account with forgery
one nice feature about my computer is I can delete
either a message I don’t want or the whole fleet.
So please bear in mind that if you write
I may answer if I can get things just right
this is a keyboard and screen that sits on my lap
but my cat loves to come up and nap.
Often the words have too much space in between
she smacks her tail all over the screen,
I sent the computer back with a note in tack
this is useless with a lap cat
Nibbles McCheesy was ever so speedy
And scampering all round the house
Trojan the tabby was getting quite crabby
For failing to capture that mouse
That cowardy custard could not cut the mustard
The mouse was too slippery for he
In truth it was mainly and really quite plainly
For fear that mouse might have a flea
So Nibbles McCheesy would run around freely
With Trojan in feigned hot pursuit
But one day a dollar had bought a flea collar
Which, being pink, looked rather cute
This new situation meant self preservation
Was not gonna hold Trojan back
So Nibbles McCheesy found freedom less easy…
…The front door was open a crack
So Nibbles debated then negotiated
The crack… to the world of ‘outside’
The front door shut tight; he was out for the night
But then a free picnic he spied
McCheesy’s a reader, he’s seen a bird feeder
And knows they’re a banquet on tap
He climbed the bird table fast as he was able
The goldfinches got in a flap
Twas only a minute and Nibbles was in it
Snuck in through a hole in the side
He ate all the seeds beyond all of his needs…
“Help me, I’m stuck fast,” he cried
Then Trojan stepped out, and he gazed all about
He thought he should let Nibbles in
But stuck in his tube, Nibbles asked for some lube
And gave him his best cheesy grin
Once upon a time I could change the oil and give the car a lube,
Tune the timing, change the plugs and patch an inner tube.
In days of yore I'd do simple jobs beneath the old elm tree.
Nowadays, I daren't twist a wrench without an engineer's degree!
In olden days things were simple to work on beneath the hood.
Stuff crammed under the hoods today is not at all understood!
Why! You must pull the doggone engine to fix a simple leak,
And everything is diagnosed by a smart-alecky computer geek!
Now I can't even locate the spark plugs, I must humbly confess,
And where the life-sustaining battery reposes is anybody's guess!
I must even contact the local garage to get the radiator filled.
'Tis plain to see that all is governed by the national mechanic's guild!
In simpler times the way to detect an errant rod and piston knock,
Was to put a screwdriver to your ear and listen through the block.
Nowadays, technicians lounge about with computers in their paws,
And in a trice can flesh out your automobile's ailing flaws!
Back then, I could replace brake linings and distributor caps,
Change a fan belt or replace a gasket or two perhaps.
But all these fancy gadgets are beyond me - I can't figure them out.
So I'll gnash my teeth and sit beneath the spreading elm and pout!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Some use hemorrhoid cream on their face
In my eyes,it is not the right place
But they ‘pile’ it all on
Till the tube is all gone
I won’t use our tube just in case
Just imagine if you’d used your finger
On your piles cos you had a humdinger
But your wrinkles need lube
and you reuse that tube
on that note I’ve leave you to linger!!
Based on an article about people using this cream to shrink their facial wrinkles
***** about face means 'something that is contrary to what is expected'
4/14/18
He came 'floatin' down the river on a truck tire tube
With a rag round his head that was dipped in Lube
Hung sunglasses on. . . held back by his ears
Then he picked up a pen releasing the tears!
Of all the ' Boo-Hooing' I confess he's the best
Jerking our chains until "we" attest;
"Our hearts are so broken lost in this lie"
Edwin write a poem! You simply must try!
And soon there is singing quite happy are we
Edwin's moving his pen for you and for me!
So we'll keep on swooning and waitin to see
His new book release...The Big Number 3
1/22/16
The lazy river wasn’t so lazy
In fact, you might say, it drove us crazy
What’s with the waterfalls and toddlers screaming?
I looked at my partner; she wasn’t beaming
Thunder Rapids left us doomed in darkness
Why did we think this ride would be harmless?
Two eight-foot drops suspended us mid-air
As two mature ladies, we had quite the scare
The Serpentine Serpent was a near-drowning
As huge blasts of water our lungs were downing
Nearly toppling as on our sides we raced our tube
My friend Sandra lost her balance in this jiffy-lube
Finally we headed for the “kiddy-land” ride
Where upon a thin sponge we did slip and slide
Too fast on one corner, Sandra flew
For shoulder repair, she needed “super glue”
Who’d believe a water park could render such pain
They carried us out on an “old folks” crane
Never to return, we vowed that day
This is a park where only “kids” should play
*Co-written with a super, but non-Souper, friend on April 15, 2015, less than a week after the true experience as we recover in ICU ;D
WD-40
(jingle)
By Franklin Price
6/9/2015
WD-40 an excellent lube
Sprayed from a can
Not squeezed from a tube
Frees rusted screws
And bicycle chains
Cleans up the tracks
Of old model trains
So much more
WD-40 can do
I think you will find
It's a great lube for you
Although things have changed
Over the many years
I just wanted the world to know
I have happy tears
The pain and suffering
That I have for years buried
Your hatred and revenge
For this day you have carried
I have you in my thoughts
In everything I do
You made me a stronger woman
And I Thank You
I use my side mirrors
Every time I'm in reverse
When a vehicle breaks down
Your lessons I rehearse
WD-40 is the lube
You taught me would work
On just about everything
That had a troublesome quirk
Patience is something
We had all along
But perservance through our fighting
Proves your intentions weren't all wrong
My job was to care for children
Make their days complete
I am now a mother
To all youth that I meet
We chose different paths
Our children too
You degrade me still
And I Thank You
You just made me
Stronger than I was before
Knowing that I have matured enough
To learn insults gain love no more
You taught me things
From being gone so long
I had no choice
But to be independant and strong
Beauty is in everyone
You target what you SEE
Not caring about what caused it
The difference between you and me
So, here I am
Devoted to all that is true
Letting the world know
I Thank You
I am quite a fixer....of clocks that are DIRTY old tickless clocks....
Lube 'em up and they purr like new. my new career?? what do yo think?
Celadon eyes with strawberry short cake locks of silk(corn silk)
LOL
Thursdays that disappoint !
A sadness reigns .
Some Thursdays come, most by, do go.
Why everyone does not flow ?, I do not know.
A lube job for you, an oil change for me.
No consistency, why ?, this I can not see.
Now taking two hours, sometimes more
When it used to be twenty minutes to my door.
Slipping the head of the family into the crevice.
Sliding effortlessly into that moist, dark cave.
Penetrating, feeling, touching walls that gave
shelter – for a time – to little solders on the run.
In search for that nest of eggs, now only for fun.
For the years have taken, as did a medical device.
Knowledge of, know full well that this cave is barren.
Representing only a portion of its former self.
The rest placed upon some medical shelf.
Gone is the time of productivity, into space, staren.
In search of, becomes the joy, the adventure,
the desire and the pleasures, during a time.
Times of closeness, not always, are they mine.
That is alright, I guess, with this families head.
Not alight are the excuses, the reasons I am fed
for the loss, the denial of Thursday night,
the searches, resurrecting of the hunt I might
continue - in that beautiful cave – searching.
Trying to find the right door, reaching.
Searching for those none existent eggs, to ply
the pleasures found in the hunt – denied, why?
One has to wonder, what was your game.
To know all the others, to know their name,
Would not comfort, would not make things the same.
No !, and should the hunt come to an end ?,
know, that no matter what, I will still be a friend.
Know that consistency is the spice of life,
as is spontaneity and desire without strife.
Has life in the spice jar, been forever lost ?
Celibacy, indifference, aloneness the cost ?
B. J. “A ” 2
April 10th 2005
HACKED
In deepest, darkest Web net space,
with spirits that they Tor;
building rootkits to hide in place,
like wolves behind the door.
Downloads are baked with cyber psy's,
and mere matrix cooking;
serving up the Rasberry Pi's,
not a soul was looking.
Bugged our way with lightening speed,
with every User glitched;
then coded what they said they need,
while every human bitched.
Flawed machines reflect our error,
imperfect just like us;
poor design can levy terror,
and throw us under bus.
A tantalizing lock to lube,
and Chips fall where they may;
unlock the cyber Rubix Cube,
and hacks are not for play.
A new despair is in the air,
hacking in dissension;
the o's and ones rest in their lair,
hatching more dimension.
Then where is Waldo in disguise,
for Users unaware;
and losers all, they will despise,
to not protect or care.
One foot on earth and cyber space,
kinda lost our bearings;
know the truth, in either place, and
backspace all red herrings.
-Edlynn Nau
© September 21, 2017
(Four verses with eight lines each; Syllable pattern: alternating 8 and 6 syllables per line. Rhyme pattern: ABAB CDCD)