William J. Jr. Atfield | + Follow Poet |
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Thursdays That Disappoint a Sadness Reigns

Thursdays that disappoint !
A sadness reigns .

Some Thursdays come, most by, do  go.
Why everyone does not flow ?, I do not know.
A lube job for you, an oil change for me.
No consistency, why ?, this I can not see.
Now taking two hours, sometimes more
When it used to be twenty minutes to my door.

Slipping the head of the family into the crevice.
Sliding effortlessly into that moist, dark cave.
Penetrating, feeling, touching walls that gave
shelter – for a time – to little solders on the run.
In search for that nest of eggs, now only for fun.
For the years have taken, as did a medical device.

Knowledge of, know full well that this cave is barren.
Representing only a portion of its former self.
The rest placed upon some medical shelf.
Gone is the time of productivity, into space, staren.
In search of, becomes the joy, the adventure,
the desire and the pleasures, during a time.

Times of closeness, not always, are they mine.
That is alright, I guess, with this families head.
Not alight are the excuses, the reasons I am fed
for the loss, the denial of Thursday night,
the searches, resurrecting of the hunt I might
continue - in that beautiful cave – searching.

Trying to find the right door, reaching.
Searching for those none existent eggs, to ply
the pleasures found in the hunt – denied, why?
One has to wonder, what was your game.
To know all the others, to know their name,
Would not comfort, would not make things the same.

No !, and should the hunt come to an end ?,
know, that no matter what, I will still be a friend.
Know that consistency is the spice of life,
as is spontaneity and desire without strife.
Has life in the spice jar, been forever lost ?
Celibacy, indifference, aloneness the cost ?

B. J. “A ” 2
April 10th 2005

Copyright © William J. Jr. Atfield | Year Posted 2015

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Kp Nunez Date: 2/8/2015 7:42:00 PM Again, was about to click shut the computer for a meeting, realized I have some time, opened the page that beckons me, found this...Old souls fascinate me...but there's a lot of loneliness in this piece that gives me a disquiet..I realized that living life to the fullest can mean 2 things...it can mean living life according to your rules, or one of significance for others, though it could mean going out of one's comfort zone..More sunshiny smiles from the land of thousand isles, sire. Kim :) Login to Reply William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 2/8/2015 9:56:00 PM Good evening Kim : I see that you haven’t given up on me, yet !!! You sure have been keeping me busy with answering your comments, concerns and questions. I wonder why this particular “ Old souls fascinate me ” ??? “ there's a lot of loneliness in this piece that gives me a disquiet. ” I can understand that. Be at peace Kim, but I must inform you that it was not about loneliness !!!, my Dear. I have been a loner most of my life and loneliness is not a part of my inner vocabulary. Consistency is though and so are habits and rituals, so when unexplained, unreasonable changes take place, I want to understand and know the reasons why. When they are not forth coming, only excuses that do not match up with reality, lies are what destroys, for the excuses offered only insult the knowledge, the wisdom and the intelligence of the one given these unreality excuses. William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 2/8/2015 9:55:00 PM I am sure that some live out their lives vicariously through the ones who lives in the moment, for the moment and sucks the life out of it, that is why we admire, emulate, worship the free spirited, the creative, the talented, the movers and shakers and so if one desires to walk the razors of life, one has to step outside “ of one's comfort zone..” . Thank You Kim Patrice Nunez, “ More sunshiny smiles from the land of thousand isles, sire. Kim :) ”and I was able to let the suns radiant smile, along with yours, shine down upon me as I walked the Polish Princesses dogs this afternoon. My daily job until she gets back from Cuba . I do hope that these messages get through to you ??? Bill . ( B. J. “A” 2 ) William J. Jr. Atfield Date: 2/8/2015 9:55:00 PM This rhyme was written and given to the subject within it, so that either things would be transparent or the doors were to be closed. There were no tie in this friendship, either you are a part of this adventure or part of another, just make a decision as to which journey you want to take and take it, but do not play games because you want to hang on to both. This is the essence of this rhyme Kim . “ I realized that living life to the fullest can mean 2 things...it can mean living life according to your rules, ”, no rules my Dear, just honesty with one’s self and with others, in living “ life to the fullest ”, “ or one of significance for others, though it could mean going out of one's comfort zone.. ”