Best Let Er Rip Poems
College students today are a professor's worst nightmare
They come to class late, with ripped jeans and purple hair
Without a word of apology for interrupting what's going on
They proceed to bury their heads in their infernal smartphones
Texting and tweeting and checking out Facebook
They don't give a soul in the room so much as a look
While if asked to participate in an activity or discussion
They grumble under their breath and commence a-cussin'
As far as breaks go, if they're given fifteen minutes
The classroom's still empty after thirty; no one'll be in it
They regard homework assignments as affronts to their dignity
A test or an exam --- Why, that's a cancerous malignity
These arrogant airheads of asininity
Shout down those not of their affinity
But come the end of every semester
They all expect "A's" for their sanguininity
December 16, 2018
Entry in "Let 'Er Rip #2 Poetry Contest"
Sponsor: John Lawless
(Apologies to any cowboys in Derbyshire)
The telegraph came through, but just in time
before my coach had passed the county line
mah girl wuz all alone and in distress
and only one guy could go save her- well, you guessed.
Ah told mah driver “stop! I gotta help her
drop me off- ahm headin' back to Belper!"
"Yo crazy boy! The old guy spluttered forth
there ain't nuthin' but trouble that far north”
His words had barely registered, I'd say
but I was in Duffield, post-haste, half way,
that one horse town of Derby far behind
but only winsome Janet on mah mind.
Time wuz almost out when I rode through
she'd almost given up on me, I knew
as when I burst in through that old front door
and spotted, scared, surrounded on the shop floor
mah old lady though, terrified, there wuz no doubt
cryin' "Help me, Lord- mah credit card's maxed out!"
Well, a man does what he's gotta do, so
I reached fast for mah wallet and broke through
passed her mah card, and though it be a sin
I'd told her long ago mah chip 'n pin.
She spun real tight and, takin' no more lip
swiped up the card, dang! Shootin' from the hip.
We road into the sunset, items paid
and before nightfall, hey- somebody got laid.
Woke up just before dawn, mah eyes still poppin',
but so what- who said all us guys just don't dig shoppin' ?
Competition- ' Let 'er rip- shoot from the hip 18th March 2015
I went out with some guys for lunch
we ate all we could find.
We ate like we were starving
and I must have lost my mind;
I had a salad with bleu cheese
and ordered extra fries,
I ate a plate with extra beans,
I must have had big eyes.
The waiter asked if we would like
some sweet things for dessert,
I ordered up a slice of pie
and spilled some on my shirt.
We drove back to the office
which is when I think it hit;
my stomach started growling
and was throwing quite a fit...
I figured it would go away
and ran to join a meet,
I soon learned just how wrong I was
when I sat in my seat...
I loosened up my belt a bit
to take the pressure off,
and when my stomach growled too loud
I hid it with a cough.
The pressure kept on building
as the meeting went on long,
and that is when I realized
that this could all go wrong.
I stood and said "excuse me"
'cause by then I had to go,
I tightened all my muscles then,
and hoped it wouldn't show.
I waddled to the conference door
and quickly stepped outside,
I knew I had mere seconds left
to find a place to hide.
With privacy just out of reach
and pressure far too great,
I had to let a little out
before it was too late.
I took a step to get relief,
relaxed and let 'er rip,
but then I couldn't help myself
and felt the whole thing slip.
The sound I made was deafening,
it shook the office walls,
but that was not the worst of it,
as smell filled up the halls.
I couldn't hold it in no more
my body lost control,
I had to make a break for it
before it took it's toll.
Perhaps too late I made a break
and finally found a door,
I pushed on through and found fresh air
and let loose with some more.
I found my car and got inside,
and drove fast as I could,
It wasn't long before I found
I let more than I should.
My day was done, my time was lost
and so my dignity,
the moral of this story
should be more than plain to see:
go out to lunch and take a break
but don't eat the whole cart,
'cause you might find that if you do
you may do more than fart.
.
.
.
Poem Info:
1. Written: 12.25.18
2. Written for the "Let 'Er Rip" poetry contest on PoetrySoup.com sponsored by John lawless.
PETTY POET
You deem
to stand in judgement of me
your mealy mouth poised
whining and whinging
such scathing sarcastic sniveling
What gives you the right
to tear me apart
with vitriolic venom
dripping like slimy snot
from your gigantic gob
Listen up you block head -
pin back your lugholes
because
I’VE HAD ENOUGH!
I don’t give a toss about your opinion
not even a flying fig
after all ...
with your turgid twaddle
you’re hardly William Shakespeare!
Let er rip#2 contest
12/13/18
LET ‘ER RIP
Let'er rip broken salted chips
Drop your hip, rythinmatic dance steps
Crush broken lined-circle blips
Let'er rip parted lips blowing trumpet
Pucker up screams praise in worship
Screeching tires on highway pavement trips
Let'er rip in kitchen mashing raw potatoes being whip
Art classes making paper mache masks
Strips of papers I crafted art fashion "id"
Let'er rip
12/26/18
For LET 'ER RIP #2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John lawless
yonder tree so falls
being cut down trimmed and all
saw just let er rip
~
bubbling boiling clog
having an upset stomach
flatulent just gas
~
rooted gases brews
holding back stomach hard pangs
past gas let er rip
~
race start to finish
get on, your mark get set, go
start just let er rip
7/1/21
FOR LET ER RIP CONTEST
Sponsored by: John Lawless
Poem Syllable Counter Results
Syllables Per Line: 5 7 5 0 0 0 5 7 5 0 0 0 5 7 5 0 0 0 5 7 5
Total # Syllables: 68
Total # Lines: 21 (Including empty lines)
Total # Words: 57
"Remove all shackles that take away your bliss. Enjoy a blissful life " Quote by author
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Following innumerable rules,
A life of bondage we live
Copying others, trying to be same
Scared what others may think
We never lead life our way
Dressing up to please others
In our best behaviour to impress
Wanting to prove we are the best
We literally live for others
Our real self hidden behind a facade
Without a thought about its feelings
Egoistic humans still criticize us
Is it worth it? Why not be true?
Rip the rules that bind
Rip the fears that make you timid
Use your brain and live sensibly
Pave way for a much-needed change
Still a kid at heart, behaving like an adult
Wanting to cry, controlling emotions
Dressing up for society, not as per comfort
Whole life is a saga of falsehood
Our happiness and peace long forgotten
Our opinions crushed daily dying within
How perfectly we copy others
Determines our success in life
Blindly following what parents told
Without thinking why we should do
Afraid of being a laughing stock
We lead an unintelligent life
Why not be your true self
Live for your inner bliss
Same inside out, no masking
Am sure many would follow
All are stifled from within
Wanting a solution but scared
Why not be brave and lead
Many would be thankful to you
Look at animals, no rules to obey
They live for self not for others
Enjoying every moment of existence
Much we can learn from surround
Our life is short, anytime it can end
Still we bother so much about world
Scriptures say we are not body but soul
We just don't bother to find out more
A puppet to senses and world
Is this right way of living?
So many things that we need to rip
To see the truth and be truthful
We have to tear the illusion that we are body
We need to tear our egoistic tendencies
Tear all our desires that rob us of our peace
See soul, live for soul and God and inner joy.
27.06.2021
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bhagvad Gita 2.11: The Supreme Lord said: While you speak words of wisdom, you are mourning for that which is not worthy of grief. The wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.
Contest Name: LET ER RIP #3
Sponsor : John lawless
Like a block of ice in a refrigerator car full of Chicago meats
I have a role to play,
an important purpose, and
limited time to be fully functional.
Like fourth chair, fourth clarinet in the Boston philharmonic
I have a note to sound,
a reason for being, and
without me the chord is incomplete.
Like the words that flow unmetered, unrhymed in free verse
I have messages to send,
a legitimate place in poetry, and
require a patient reader.
EIGHT PLACE WINNER
Written June 22, 2021
For “Let ‘er Rip No. 3” Poetry Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
As I had mentioned earlier, dear friend,
I had undergone counseling abundant;
Preparing me mentally, psychologically,
My mentor had to treat me physically;
Functioning of my internal organs checked,
Malfunctions, with medications, wrecked;
Detoxifications of chemical contents done,
All that was weakening me were undone;
He filled me, then, with bouquets of advice,
Which I treasured as life’s greatest prize;
The taxi I had hired to take me home back,
Had advertisements of my favorite J.W black;
======
====
I’ve given up drink of alcoholic nature now,
I do not eat anything junk in character as vow;
My temptations are, indeed, very strong,
Especially my brand, whose name in me gong;
I just say to myself: I will not drink today,
Every today goes on passing on every day.
08 July 2021
LET ER RIP #3 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John lawless
There are some who meditate
To help relieve their stress.
Others have a glass of wine
When under great duress.
I know people who calm down
By quilting, knitting, sewing;
Some folks get frustration out
By vacuuming or mowing.
There are those who nap or pace
Or sit and bite their nails.
Others do what I resort to
When each option fails:
It’s something I’m not proud of, but
When stress becomes extreme,
I get to someplace private
And release a blasting scream.
For only then, when I’ve let go,
Will I be feeling fine;
And then, to guarantee that fact,
I’ll have that glass of wine.
As she opened the letter
She thought she'd feel better.
But this wasn't to be.
The letter was from John.
Whom she had loved long
And now he was setting her free.
Cowardly John.
Who she depended upon,
Now had decided to flee
To love evermore
A life together to explore
Was what John had promised to me.
What a despicable man
And fool that I am
To be attracted to a thug
That crawled from the ground.
And a target he found
I should stamp on this creep like a bug.
A bug no John's worse.
I feel a need to curse
But revenge will not ease my pain.
I'll rip up John's letter.
And trust I'll feel better.
Imagining what could have been confetti is rain
24 June 2021 contest Let Er Rip Sponsor John Lawless