Let 'Er Rip- Shoot From the Hip

(Apologies to any cowboys in Derbyshire) The telegraph came through, but just in time before my coach had passed the county line mah girl wuz all alone and in distress and only one guy could go save her- well, you guessed. Ah told mah driver “stop! I gotta help her drop me off- ahm headin' back to Belper!" "Yo crazy boy! The old guy spluttered forth there ain't nuthin' but trouble that far north” His words had barely registered, I'd say but I was in Duffield, post-haste, half way, that one horse town of Derby far behind but only winsome Janet on mah mind. Time wuz almost out when I rode through she'd almost given up on me, I knew as when I burst in through that old front door and spotted, scared, surrounded on the shop floor mah old lady though, terrified, there wuz no doubt cryin' "Help me, Lord- mah credit card's maxed out!" Well, a man does what he's gotta do, so I reached fast for mah wallet and broke through passed her mah card, and though it be a sin I'd told her long ago mah chip 'n pin. She spun real tight and, takin' no more lip swiped up the card, dang! Shootin' from the hip. We road into the sunset, items paid and before nightfall, hey- somebody got laid. Woke up just before dawn, mah eyes still poppin', but so what- who said all us guys just don't dig shoppin' ? Competition- ' Let 'er rip- shoot from the hip 18th March 2015