Best Hunky Poems
I'm not overly fond of receiving a family's annual gushing story,
In the form of a Christmas Letter stating that all is hunky-dory.
I received one the other day in which they told the honest truth,
And I'll relay its contents though of me it may be somewhat uncouth!
"My son Jimmy who was in the army gave a sergeant a lot of sass,
And was unceremoniously invited to leave the service by the army brass!
Daughter Sarah became in a 'family way' bringing me much disgrace.
The father of the kid left the state and of him there is not a trace!"
"Son Robert attempted to rob a bank and now languishes in jail.
The judged sentenced him to twenty years sans the benefit of bail.
My husband up and left me for that hussy waitress at Joe's Cafe.
That left me with little money, having to keep bill-collectors at bay!"
"My sister fell on hard times and moved in with her three little brats.
She also brought along three hounds, a nasty parrot and two hissing cats!
My trusty old 85 Chevy blew a rod and left me without wheels;
I can't afford another car because of outrageously high-priced deals!"
She goes on to say, "I hope all has gone well at your house this year.
As you can see, this past year ain't been one for me of great cheer!"
I appreciated her honesty but found her dismal plight quite appalling.
Her letter left me quite bereft and before you know it, I started bawling!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Hens and Roosters in the barnyard
living in symbiotic relationships
each searching for kernels of corn.
Taking turns with beaks they snip
scorned and pecked. What the heck?
How hard should it be to get along
even when some foul fowl are wrong?
Cockadoodle don't squawk at me...
Why can't you see
peace in the barnyard is a reverie.
Squawk squawk...scratch scratch
Roosters and hens don't get along
Farmer, unlock the gate latch
to free those who don't belong.
Don't scratch, peck and complain
when you don't garner fame.
There should be no pecking order
Don't point the finger of blame
when you don't know the root
from which the clawing came
or you'll feel the farmer's boot.
Don't be misled by words of ruse
from roosters or hens on the loose.
They're out to suck up the worm
in the early morning sun...
their charade has just begun.
Squawk squawk...scratch scratch
Roosters and hens don't get along
Farmer, unlock the gate latch
to free those who don't belong.
Don't tell me this is a fabrication...
of a chicken barnyard story.
This is merely an observation
of things that are not hunky-dory
Beware the fox, lurking near
feathers ruffled in the barnyard
Cockadoodle don't live in fear
of a fox, a wolf, a fraud.
Keep safe the eggs in your nest
Don't leave your children unguarded
Outwitting the fox is a test
One for which you'll be rewarded.
They squawked and squawked
scratched and scratched
Roosters and hens in the barnyard.
"Cockadoodle Don't Will Open the Gate,"
is the title to a new hen house song.
As I lay on sodden ground
Silence reigns,
There lays no sound.
I feel no pains
I have no displeasure
My heart interlocked by chains.
I feel great and euphoric leisure
I am in control I’m proud to say
Nothing can stop this pleasure.
I am feeling no guilt and no sorrows
Am I kidding myself to the actual truth?
Because even small ants cast long shadows.
I have passed the fountain of youth
I also been removed from past glory
Nothing is equable and nothing is smooth.
In truth this is not all my story
It belongs to another sod like me
We’re are not hunky dory.
One side of me is totally free
The other confused and fouled up
Both in me yet they never agree.
I can feel them but never see them close-up
Yet even small ants cast long shadows
So do I and I am going to shut up.
When I shop for an automobile,
I don’t worry much about speed.
Good mileage per gallon I want.
A van or a truck I don’t need!
So I guess if shopped for a spouse
the way that I shop for a car,
that means that my man wouldn’t need
much fuel, but he still could go far!
And since I can’t stand vans and trucks
(preferring a car rather small),
my man, by those very same standards,
would not be too hunky at all.
Neither too slow nor too fast, my man
would be like a Mitsubishi
A Spyder Eclipse, rather cute,
and super efficient for me!
When I shop for an automobile,
looks matter! I love a great hue.
And sporty is nice, but oh my,
what guy in the world is light blue?
And finally this is a must -
I want a convertible top!
Does that mean that men with toupees
are spouses for whom I should shop?
The spouse I have now is not small
nor sporty; his color is grey!
He’s bald, so he’s somewhat a rag-top.
I could purchase for him a toupee!
When all my old cars put on miles,
I always considered a trade-in.
But now that I’m old like my spouse,
I don’t think I’ll go through that again!
The hunky man with tarzan zeal
had sexy buns made of steel
when he walked
the girls gawked
as they cried, Oh heh, can I feel ?
~Evil Lucia~
Salad, spaghetti, Spumoni.
M-m-m good....
Lecherous Lucia lusted for the waiter,
Hardly the pizzazy food!
Swirling the Chianti in her glass,
Staring at that Sicilian, hunky, manly mass.
Panagiota Romios
3/28/2019
Crimes twisted and horrible are solved by a group of Elite FBI profilers,
re-runs I watch even though I have seen them several times, it matters not.
In each episode the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) solve a mystery.
My favorite character is Spenser, pretty boy, genius, special agent,
in eleven seasons, I followed each nasty crime, at the end my prize is a quote.
Now, I am waiting breathlessly for Season 12 to start in September.
All the characters lives are part of the drama, that makes it interesting to me.
Last episode of Season Eleven, hunky Derek resigns to care his wife and baby.
Most of the characters are like family, JJ, did you know, Henri is her real son,
interesting how Emily just faded away, and Garcia, baby girl, oh so flirtatious,
now has to find a new man to tease. Rossi, oh he is so serious, but I like him.
Do you know Gideon wanted out, they killed him in Season Ten, that was sad.
So you see, I know them all, I solve crimes with them, I am hooked for sure.
__________________________________
July 14, 2016
Poetry/Acrostic/Criminal Minds
Copyright Protected, ID 16-808-874-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Your Favorite Habit-Forming TV Show
sponsor, Tom Quigley
Fifth Place
In the wee hour before customers came to call,
Groceries came to life and had a Cinderella ball.
"Je'taime," purred the french toast to the frozen peas,
"Oh quit your fast talk. I'm southern, If you please."
The peanut butter tried his luck. He felt rather 'hunky'.
He winked at the jelly. She gasped. "You sir, are chunky!"
Lemons and limes provided fragrance. Love was found.
Mr Goodbar married Mrs. Butterworth, their children sold by the pound.
Echo blasts,
as it's all hunky-dorey in an iconoclasts contrasts,
displacement of my courageousness on a dumb-fast
tele~cast,
the resumed movement 28 days later wasn't even just as fast;
it was what was all along in my
aged economical forestry please-
in a delved and dormant door-mat that I once seized-
it came and went like a breeze,
but over came me,
it even behaved like the beast.
But with all this loss of law please-
unveil for a prince his own memory,
travel for the farm every existence in sequential feast-
the con-mans academic lean,
a sordid snape's reconciliation.
See through peace as peace was once an innocent things thing,
but never bring,
never feel a sleeping wing,
just josh and joist with brothers keepers,
steal the stew we love deeper seasoned and evaporated reapers-
because lord did they appear,
and dormant was their meal,
my first,
my last,
and entry of my free feel.
Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?
Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?
Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.
I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!
For my sweet hubby T Reams
On dark Halloween Night
The moon will lose its light
The goblins will hunt you
To cook your entrails into barbecue
There will be loud screams in town
Cry of crows will be heard all around
Ominous howls of wolves will be the worst
They’re Draculas’ Foreboding Blood-thirst
Ugly wraiths will hung themselves in gallows
On ghost gum trees with monster shadows
Hunchback men will haul caskets with their spade
Putrid carrions will soon be insidiously laid
Witches will set scalding poisons in cauldrons
Tarantulas will scuttle out from their alley holes
Be wary and wear your red-lighted horns
It pre-empted them from feasting your eyeballs
On that very dark Halloween Night
Your friends will be out of sight
Grave yards will be widely opened
Zombies will be searching all hunky men
If you are really one of them
Better hide from those arrant Zomb-women
A warning for both adults and children
To ignore a bloody and one’s horrifying mien
There will be more scary creatures
On that Halloween night if you go out and venture
Just wear your spooky costumes and make sure
You cannot only walk but fly and crawl
Sept. 12,2014 1.50am
Computers can absolutely drive us to drink
It's programmed into their memory
Just when we think things are all hunky dory
It lets us down unceremoniously
To frustrate us more we even lose some data
Though we often hit “command/save”
But wouldn't you know it this was the exception
To these monsters we're truly enslaved
The damn things treats us like a piece of crap
I'm sure there are gremlins inside
Trying to turn us into some raving maniacs
Delight when they see us cry
Can't live with them, can't live without them
They've got us by those short curlicues
It's almost like they enjoy watching us struggle
But give in we absolutely refuse
They can drive us to drink, a bloody caesar
Every single night before bed
Oh for the days before technology reigned
When people ruled the world instead
© Jack Ellison 2015
Check at heaven's home
To sort the fragment of what it is
Bathed in Venus
Idyllic
Hat askew to see the heart
Change gear
Flutters
Drums harder
Uh! My chest
Hunky
You sparkle
Glittering like a million stars
My diamond
Twister
Head turner
Beautiful Liar
I’ve utilized cleavage to get out of a ticket or two
One time I had a very fun rendezvous involving fondue
Ohh and that time with the old boyfriend and the canoe
Do you know how many things you can do with a kazoo?
One night stands? I’ll only admit to a few!
I had a morning of bliss with the tour guide at the zoo
I proudly joined the mile high club the last time I flew
That afternoon with my piano teacher…yabbadabbadoo!
I had my own pre Marti Gras parade just of the blew
I sure did give a thrill to the guy who works the drive-through
I’m elated that the hunky cop was into it too
How do I get to the top? I bet you wish you knew!
****I apologize up front to all of my conservative friends here at the Soup :)*****
****For Shani's "Tell me a secret contest-Won 2nd Place!!!*****
****For the record...one 'secret' on the list IS true-and it just wouldn't be any fun if I told ya which :)
I have been made mad before
With my clothes on my hands
Shabbily treated by children in the street.
My hair shaggy and rough.
YOu could see me going through the hoote-nanny
Smiling to every one that comes
on my way in a mischievous manner.
Then they sang the lost song of missing instrument and Bongo
And i dance stupidly in an open field crowded with fools.
They watched my buttock going higgledy-piggledy with no questions
I flagged off my clothes and let them see my bare chest
Swirling and twisting its Skin.
I have tolled every night and day upon the ugly mountains
With my back welcoming the dust of the ground in agony.
I have been pushed to the lunatic asylum because they thought
I was mad but your love made me drunk and insane.
Lyrically, my songs boomed and welcomed thousand children
Home to celebrate your bravery yet you seems not to
admit my effort as i sustain lumbago which made me lumbering.
I have embarked an arduous journey on the south west to obtain the
Roses and egg of life made for you in the land of the spirit
Because the priest confirmed you to be Ogbanje.
I have worked in the zoo, worked in the oceans, fought
the masked spirit and won for your sake.
Worked in the farm land where the monkeys mocked me
With their ugly black teeth abusing my personality.
I made the ridges with your names written boldly on it
To remind the birds and wild creature that it is
Untreadable land for a pretty damsel.
I have pronounce your names millions time with the parrots
Taught the toddler how top read your names on books.
I have become a hooligan and hoon all because of your love.
I have worked in the vineyard of the king as his servant,
Many maiden clutched to me and laid down their humble
Lives for my soul rescue but i denied them all of love.
Millions tears have i drooped for your sake,
Rebel against my flesh and blood all because i love you.
I am bound to your body by ardour love,
Love me so that every thing would be hunky dory.