Get Your Premium Membership

A Christmas Letter

I'm not overly fond of receiving a family's annual gushing story,
In the form of a Christmas Letter stating that all is hunky-dory.
I received one the other day in which they told the honest truth,
And I'll relay its contents though of me it may be somewhat uncouth!

"My son Jimmy who was in the army gave a sergeant a lot of sass,
And was unceremoniously invited to leave the service by the army brass!
Daughter Sarah became in a 'family way' bringing me much disgrace.
The father of the kid left the state and of him there is not a trace!"

"Son Robert attempted to rob a bank and now languishes in jail.
The judged sentenced him to twenty years sans the benefit of bail.
My husband up and left me for that hussy waitress at Joe's Cafe.
That left me with little money, having to keep bill-collectors at bay!"

"My sister fell on hard times and moved in with her three little brats.
She also brought along three hounds, a nasty parrot and two hissing cats!
My trusty old 85 Chevy blew a rod and left me without wheels;
I can't afford another car because of outrageously high-priced deals!"

She goes on to say, "I hope all has gone well at your house this year.
As you can see, this past year ain't been one for me of great cheer!"
I appreciated her honesty but found her dismal plight quite appalling.
Her letter left me quite bereft and before you know it, I started bawling!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired


Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 12/25/2015 11:18:00 PM
BOB h., Merry Christmas and Happy New Year May all your days shine and dreams come true. :) Every day should be a day with family and friends. I appreciate everyone. Sorry to all those I have taken for granted. SHAME ON ME. I promise, 2016 will be a new me. Merry Christmas!!! May the true meaning of the holiday season fill your heart and home. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
Login to Reply
Date: 12/24/2015 10:38:00 AM
This letter was a riot Bob. I kind of had to send out one like that this year when I let family and friends know of my youngest's divorce, but tempered it with the fact that she met a wonderful doctor she is dating and is now very happy. Her ex wanted to live a single life. Sometimes you have to share the good along with a little bad. One of our family sends out a business letter to family too! Makes me laugh. I so enjoyed this poem and am faving it! #7 Blessings, Connie
Login to Reply
Hinshaw Avatar
Robert L. Hinshaw
Date: 12/24/2015 11:12:00 AM
Glad the poem gave you a laff (strictly a fictional write) and thanks for considering it a 7! Happy to hear your daughter has found the right guy and I wish them well. I pray that 2016 will be a better year for all of us in many ways - Bob
Date: 12/22/2015 8:50:00 PM
G'day Bob... the cold hard facts you've written on the truth of some families reality and Christmas can't hide that - thank you Bob - Lindsay
Login to Reply
Date: 12/17/2015 4:51:00 PM
Yes, if the truth be known many homes have some of the same problems but are hidden behind a happy smile..Enjoyed reading your humor based work..Thanks for the visit to my p age..Sara
Login to Reply
Date: 12/16/2015 7:13:00 PM
I'm hoping this was all made up. haha. I wrote one that was a bit sad one year (but it also had good stuff in it too) my monster in law got mad at me for doing one too "truthful" and asked me not to send her any more. So she is off my mailing list for Xmas letters forevermore.
Login to Reply
Hinshaw Avatar
Robert L. Hinshaw
Date: 12/16/2015 8:01:00 PM
This was strictly fictional. I guess you can laff about the ltr vis a vis your monster in law now! A Merry Christmas on you - bob h
Date: 12/11/2015 6:41:00 PM
Great story sad but powerfully written, thanks for sharing this experience very inspirational and emotional, thanks for the review of my blue ridge mountain christmas, I appreciate your moving review, you take care and have a wonderful weekend my friend, cheri dunn
Login to Reply
Date: 12/9/2015 1:16:00 PM
your wit shines despite the 'horrific' tales quite descriptive and revealing, bob...sounds like a lenten note rather than a yule cheer!..a parody?.. goood stuff!..huggs!
Login to Reply
Date: 12/6/2015 5:44:00 PM
Loved this piece... Tho tell her that if she thinks she has problems... try raising a Dragon... or better yet... I'll let her borrow mine... He'll teach the cats not to hiss... and straighten out those brats... He'll teach them to be little angels or their toes will spark fiery red... And she won't feel sorry cause she'll be too busy making his bed... and saving the neighborhood from him! PS. Dragon is, yes, in trouble again! Let me know what you think of him.
Login to Reply
Date: 12/5/2015 10:53:00 PM
So glad this is fictional, but it's very entertaining! Great write, Bob! Love, Kim
Login to Reply
Date: 12/5/2015 2:51:00 PM
- Not exactly so enjoyable Christmas letter ..... returned to sender - Great written, dear Bob - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
Hinshaw Avatar
Robert L. Hinshaw
Date: 12/5/2015 3:39:00 PM
I agree, Anne Lise and you have a good idea - RETURN TO SENDER! This is strictly a fictional write. Best wishes for a wonderful Christmas with your family - bob h
Date: 12/5/2015 12:32:00 PM
WE get news letters - they are usually far less descriptive than this lol - great write Robert:-) hugs Jan xx
Login to Reply