Best Gourmet Poems
Smiling recollections,
summer evening reflections, now
almost gone for new generations
while my venues of childhood musings
and adolescent anticipations
...near extinction.
I must concede my willingness to share
what they will never recall
- the exhilaration
when Dad would pronounce,
"We're going to the drive-in tonight".
A creature double feature,
"The Blob" and "I Was a Teenage Werewolf",
both Feep worthy presentations,
fantasmically speaking.
The impatience for dusk was matched
with the rush of a 10 minute intermission
and, while spotlights played on the
darkened screen, cardboard pizza,
Buttercup popcorn, hockey puck hamburgers,
soggy steamed dogs, and french fries,
were greedily consumed for more
than the price of admission.
Hood ice cream cups with flat wood spoons
for dessert, then back with only
one minute 'til SHOWTIME to the
mosquito safe car where "Pic" coils
repelled the infestation while smoldering
on the glove box door - mesothelioma be damned!
Then, if we didn't escape with an
early exit dash, were caught
in the dust and chaos of the only
late night traffic jam in town.
And...years later, those teenage
trysts, without permission - I'll never tell
what movie?
But, always remember "Gourmet Confessions"!
Gourmet Spider
Please, please, please don’t eat me
I am so tiny
Not a meal at all
Eight spindly legs and no abdomen to speak of
So please, please, please don’t eat me
I have tapped and drummed on your web
To soothe your voraciousness
Now let me crawl stealthily to the back
Move aside your spinneret
And copulate
But please, oh please don’t eat me
I am not a meal you would call worthy
Of those ferocious mandibles
And the glinting cold gems of your myriad eyes
Please, please don’t eat me
Not this time any way
And if you like I will promise to be a ready meal
Just add water
And you will eat your fill
But not this time
Ok
Not this time
This time let me escape
The deed done
I impregnate
You
And as I scramble over the treads of sticky silk
The panic in my heart
Is a treacherous mistake
For she looks always for the perfection in her lovers
ESCAPE !!!!!!!!
AAAAAGGHHHHH !
What was that
Oh no……
You beautiful …………………………………… cold…………………..
………………………………voracious……………… Bit………………………..
Great food is his livelihood,
Of it he writes each day.
Upon his word others depend.
Restaurant offers best entrée,
Making much of the display.
Each chef awaits the morning news
To see what he has to say.
I ate
The bones of dogs
I ate the past before it ate me
I ate my heart
So I am with out love
I seek my next meal
Blood pie and veal
I ate the lips of a lover
I sealed the kiss with the wish of another
I am still starving, deep within
Where is this kiss
Too feed me again?
I ate the dreams of my childhood
I turned time upside-down
Yet it’s me who is lost
I am rotten from the stomach
For eating the impure
I ravish the thoughts of your loins
OH yes I eat like a king
The sweet smell of sauce makes me begin
This voyage into a lover’s sin
I am the creation of my own demise
I ate my own legs, so now I no longer run
A lover with no legs, she considers no fun
So she ate me whole, rather than catch
A romantic meal
Candles in flame
Death my only fame
THE GALLOPING GOURMET TREATS
Just finished watching the galloping gourmet
Cooking and frying up fried brains today
All his delicious meals and delectable treats
He may even be pounding and making mince meats
Always like listening to his many happy tunes
While he sings and belts out some merry half moons
He skillfully dices all the mincing of all the ducks
As he precisely illustrated all the glazing of bucks
Now he’s starting to ice all up those delicious cakes
My mouth is watering for all the sweets of ice cream bakes.
Now I’m wishing for a slice of that sweet-hummingbird cakes.
Written: Aug. 27, 2015
Theresa Marie
lord of the outdoors
ruler of the castle
king of the barbecue
wielding fork and spatula
like a maestro
snow rain or shine
surf and turf
burgers or hotdogs
rotisserie chicken
exotic kebobs
grilled colorful veggies
nontraditional desserts
take a bow
you’re a pro
submitted on June 26, 2018 for contest SUMMER COOKING sponsored by KIM RODRIGUES
Revere needed cash,
meals on hooves his slogan throughout Boston,
his fast food a smash.
1-10-17
Flowers cream and violet to brighten the pale summer
Bleached out houses against painted green lawns
Vanilla beans from Madagascar stiffen and crumble
Kitchen heating up with Peruvian songs
Dandelion soup for dinner, picked from the patch in the back
Parsley tabouli with tomatoes tender, hardly a commoner’s snack
Shoulders sun kissed from cucumber gardens
Lemon verbena skin
Coconut milk green swirled with Thai basil
Waiting to throw the hot chilies in
Come over to dine in my gourmet life
Come over to slip from your mountainous strife
You’ll find me in a gypsy skirt, bare feet and twirling
Steam filled with garlic and peppergrass swirling
Tea lights lit and the night sky burning
Filling my soul to the brim
Come over to dine in my gourmet life
Feet kicked up, to the infinite whim.
A bachelor's life is, by necessity, quite simple
We're generally the same ourselves
Complications we avoid
They take from us too much energy
And if you look at our kitchen shelves
You'll almost always see
Our gourmet pre-made food
is for us the key
We would not know how to fry
an egg or make good tea
You see, if it ain't pre-cooked,
To just be microwaved
We'll shy away from those such products
It's ease and speed we crave,
This type of food only
Until our early grave
Now, just for special occasions,
We might use a can opener
for gourmet treats to serve
To those we wish to impress
With our elan and our panache'
Maybe Chef Boy-R-Dee spaghetti,
Oh tasty, tasty treat!
It's probably the most sophisticated
Meal we'll ever eat.
And there's always the drive-thru
For most important family holiday get-togethers
Taco Bell, McDonald's, and many others too,
Don't complain and ruffle our sensitive feathers
So if you own a frying pan,
And, oh God!, maybe even a pot!
That tells me right away,
A bachelor you're not!!
A Gourmet Treat
By Elton Camp
Joe went to Mexico to see a bullfight
Then to the arena’s café to eat that night
The waiter, “Our testiculo is the very best
And I recommend it over all of the rest.”
It was a dish of which Joe had never heard
To be adventurous the idea to him occurred
Two hunks of meat proved to be king size
To ask about them Joe decided was wise
“Senor, these are from the bull killed today.
They are of the best quality customers say.”
Joe’s stomach gave a heave and a flip,
But he wanted to be daring on this trip.”
He found they actually tasted rather good
And ate a lot more than he likely should
Days later, he ordered testiculo once more
But the serving was far smaller than before
He asked, “What accounts for this tiny size?”
The waiter at first stalled, then gave sighs
He then replied with a chuckle and a grin
“Senor, the matador doesn’t always win.”
Some eat Gourmet meals
while many exist from crumbs
that fall from tables.
The aardvark is a quirky beast,
Uniquely dentalated,
And to the armadillo gastronomically related.
He dines on termites, ants, and such,
Most any bug his tongue can touch,
On fruits and veggies, not so much,
Unless he's running low on Vitamin C…
Or needs to be re-regulated.
once a young man from brooklyn
wanted to try home cookn
for his oven it died
from some rice that he fried
now he's takeout a'look'n.
A follow-up to Beryl Edmonds
"A Flying Romance" 02/11/24
Gourmet Grasshopper
After the spider made lunch of the fly
A curious grasshopper leapt on by
He told the fly with gusto
I really now must go
to dine on my worm and centipede pie!
TS Eliot said, “Paris is a strong stimulant.”
It is - but it has nothing on Manhattan.
If Paris is a Café Crème espresso at a café-en-terrasse under the stars.
Manhattan is a ‘Black Tie Bawls’ cocktail at The Crown bar (the skyline!).
We were going to relax - in Manhattan,
instead, keep those seat belts fastened.
Lisa said, one night, “Want to go out for a bit?”
Since then, I’ll admit, our nights have been lit.
We have ten days, and we’ve decided to try every Michelin-starred restaurant we can (there are 68 in NYC). So far, we’ve been to Eleven Madison Park, Le Bernardin and Per Se. This was Lisa’s idea.
The food is delicious - if you like a corn-flake with something on it or a steak the size of a bouillon cube ($250 per person with cocktails and dessert). As we left ‘Per Se’ I asked, “Can we get something to eat now? I’m starved.” I was only ½ kidding.
It’s MY idea to visit every beautix rooftop bar in Manhattan (there are exactly10). So far, we’ve been to, ‘The Peninsula,’ ‘230-Fith’’ and ‘NoMad’ - we’ve only been at these tasks for three nights.
We’re doing other things too. We’re going to Broadway shows (& Juliet, the Great Gatsby, Oh Mary!, Wicked) and to see Idina Menzel (Wicked, Frozen) in concert and a John Oliver and Seth Meyers comedy show next Monday. We do these, as in - Dinner, show, rooftop bar.
OH, and we’re dancin’ like we’re sentient - no cap.
Our sordid troup, is Lisa and Dave (her boo), Charles & Ms Charles, Lisa’s folks (Karen and Michael) and Lisa’s little sister Leeza and Meeeee. Luckily, we have one of my Grandmère’s conglomerate, executive secretarial minions (François) booking reservations for us. He’s got ‘contacts.’
Yeah, we’re drivin’ full speed towards summer’s end - “fo-shizzle” (to quote Snoop Dogg). We figure we can rest in New Haven.
Wasn’t Snoop fire at the Olympics?
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dance club songs, for this one:
One Kiss by Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa
Lipstick by Kungs
Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter [E]
Levitating by Dua Lipa
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slang…
café-en-terrasse = terrace cafe
Black Tie Bawls = (cocktail) Blavod black vodka, lemon, and Bawls energy drink.
beautix = top drawer, rizz
No cap = no lie
fo-shizzle = for sure
fire = great, a standout
[E] = explicit