The Bachelor's Gourmet Cooking Manifesto

A bachelor's life is, by necessity, quite simple We're generally the same ourselves Complications we avoid They take from us too much energy And if you look at our kitchen shelves You'll almost always see Our gourmet pre-made food is for us the key We would not know how to fry an egg or make good tea You see, if it ain't pre-cooked, To just be microwaved We'll shy away from those such products It's ease and speed we crave, This type of food only Until our early grave Now, just for special occasions, We might use a can opener for gourmet treats to serve To those we wish to impress With our elan and our panache' Maybe Chef Boy-R-Dee spaghetti, Oh tasty, tasty treat! It's probably the most sophisticated Meal we'll ever eat. And there's always the drive-thru For most important family holiday get-togethers Taco Bell, McDonald's, and many others too, Don't complain and ruffle our sensitive feathers So if you own a frying pan, And, oh God!, maybe even a pot! That tells me right away, A bachelor you're not!!