Best Goofy Poems

When I was a kid, my hero was Huckleberry Finn, 
his outlook, and conditions under which he lived, 
especially his feelings about school, 
I just knew, I had to get cool. 

Devil be damned, it was a good way, 
I would give it a try...

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His name is Gary
   He's the love that I married-
      NO- he's not hairy!
   

A. Green...

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A lady of the night nicknamed “Poopsy”
Had the most adorable pair of boobies
On a scale of one to ten
They were twenty, amen
Prompting me to lose it and start acting tutti fruity


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.

Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.

Walkin' dow-nuh street
On me achy feet
Allah li'l birdies go 
Tweet tweet tweet

Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.

Not gonna crawl
In frunnuh you all
Maybe gonna hide unner
A sheet, sheet, sheet.

Ah-ooo, ah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo....

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Licky butt, oh, licky butt
Lick your bum my lovely puppy
Gonna feed you a dead guppy
It's belly up
So feed it to the pup....

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IBM
UBM
ICBM
On the floor....

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Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!...

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Hi tiddley hi ti I'm all right
I needed a mai tai, keeps me tight
I'm a waking winky -- got a belly ache
I think a Bromo-Seltzer is what I'll take....

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Hello my name is Pizza
It's me you wants tuh eatsa
You want with lotsa meatsa?
The fave of the Tsaritza!...

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I. Lyric Written in 1958 at Age Eight
Sung with Friends on the Schoolyard 
to the tune of "Curiosity Killed the Cat" 
from Peeping Penguins (1937)

There's poopoo on the ground
There's poopoo on the ground
Looks like it, smells like, tastes like it too
Put your foot in it...

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Poe was always revising his prose between publications. Here are the longest extended versions of sentences he shortened for their final publication in his lifetime:

"We loved each other with a love that was more than love, more love than fit in an empty grotes bag,...

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Imagine there's no cupcake
Someone in the house ate yours
No Krispy Kremes or KitKats
No pudding pops or s'mores
Imagine there's no halva 
Behind cupboard doors, oo hoo oo....

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Mmm, mmm, Abba-Zaba
Abba zaba do dum dee
Mmm, mmm, Abba-Zaba
You da owny frien' fo' me....

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I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked....

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I am a friend of pie
Why?
Because I would never eat it.
It will live its natural life cycle
Until it's dry
Then goes all rancid
And can die.

And that's why I
Am a friend of pie....

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