Best Goofy Poems
Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.
Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.
Walkin' dow-nuh street
On me achy feet
Allah li'l birdies go
Tweet tweet tweet
Wah-ooo, wah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.
Not gonna crawl
In frunnuh you all
Maybe gonna hide unner
A sheet, sheet, sheet.
Ah-ooo, ah-ooo,
Oo-oo, oo-oo, oo.
Licky butt, oh, licky butt
Lick your bum my lovely puppy
Gonna feed you a dead guppy
It's belly up
So feed it to the pup.
IBM
UBM
ICBM
On the floor.
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Never stand behind a hippo!
Projectile diarrhea!
Hi tiddley hi ti I'm all right
I needed a mai tai, keeps me tight
I'm a waking winky -- got a belly ache
I think a Bromo-Seltzer is what I'll take.
When I was a kid, my hero was Huckleberry Finn,
his outlook, and conditions under which he lived,
especially his feelings about school,
I just knew, I had to get cool.
Devil be damned, it was a good way,
I would give it a try for a couple of days.
Off I went early on a summer morn,
after eight hours sleep; it was recommended,
in that day.
I set off to pirate and seek my way,
no plan, but high spirited anyway.
When mom discovered I was nowhere to be found,
she set the police to run me to ground,
did not take long, sitting on a bench,
barefooted, wearing dads old straw hat;
eating an apple from great aunties tree.
Yep, Huckleberry would be proud of me.
When I got home, the reaction,
not quite what I dreamed, no girl in the end,
I got brained instead; figured I had better find
another hero before I got dead.
Now my hero is most like me,
his name is Goofy.
Hello my name is Pizza
It's me you wants tuh eatsa
You want with lotsa meatsa?
The fave of the Tsaritza!
His name is Gary
He's the love that I married-
NO- he's not hairy!
A. Green
I. Lyric Written in 1958 at Age Eight
Sung with Friends on the Schoolyard
to the tune of "Curiosity Killed the Cat"
from Peeping Penguins (1937)
There's poopoo on the ground
There's poopoo on the ground
Looks like it, smells like, tastes like it too
Put your foot in it and it sticks like glue
There's poopoo on the ground.
II. Lyric Written in 2018
Sung While Walking the Dogs
to the tune of "Smile a Little Smile for Me"
by The Flying Machine
Poop a little pile for me
Rose Marie, you must keep on pooping
Poop a little pile for me
Rose Marie, my baby.
Don't eat the bear
and the bear won't eat you
Don't stomp on flowers
Don't spit on the dew
If you are a bad person
your life will worsen
But if you are good
then there's no need for cursin'
Yoi yoi la la la la yoi yoi la.
A lady of the night nicknamed “Poopsy”
Had the most adorable pair of boobies
On a scale of one to ten
They were twenty, amen
Prompting me to lose it and start acting tutti fruity
© Jack Ellison 2015
Poe was always revising his prose between publications. Here are the longest extended versions of sentences he shortened for their final publication in his lifetime:
"We loved each other with a love that was more than love, more love than fit in an empty grotes bag, more than the love of worms if you were a hungry, hungry catfish."
"I became insane, with long intervals of sanity, then more insanity, then sane for a while, then my brain got all twisted up and went mad, then I got better. I've lost track."
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream, within another dream, within a rusty tubular tin box of sewing needles made into the handle of a doll's hairbrush."
"Believe only half of what you see, nothing of what you hear, three quarters of what you taste, one-tenth of what you feel, but the entirety of what you smell."
"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night, as for example bats, yes bats, did you know you could leave the cage door open in the bright of day and your bats will go nowhere."
"Sleep, those little slices of death, how I loathe them, also the neighbor's nippy little dog, egads I hate that dog."
"If you wish to forget anything on the Spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered, then tie it to Spot's collar, and turn him loose in some terrible neighborhood where people eat dogs."
"To elevate the soul, poetry is necessary, also those little candy root beer barrels."
"I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow, but it was Catterina that farted."
"I fell violently on my face, rolled to my side, grunted horrible grunts of gruntlyness, then flopped onto my back and waved my arms all about, still grunting."
"Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all, while Catterina licked her paws and I felt around in my pocket for my last dime but all I found was a raggedy little hole."
Mmm, mmm, Abba-Zaba
Abba zaba do dum dee
Mmm, mmm, Abba-Zaba
You da owny frien' fo' me.
I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked.
Imagine there's no cupcake
Someone in the house ate yours
No Krispy Kremes or KitKats
No pudding pops or s'mores
Imagine there's no halva
Behind cupboard doors, oo hoo oo.