Best Gnomes Poems
The first gnome to vanish was the autumn one, The one with the pumpkins and ghosts. He was the one that made the holiday bright. The decoration we cherished the most.
Now, everyone knows gnomes have a habit of traveling, though, you’d think they’d stay true to you. Imagine my surprise, when I later realized that the rest of the season’s gnomes vanished, too.
Then, one afternoon, they came marching back in a long miraculous line. In disbelief, I rubbed my eyes.
For you see gnomes are very perceptive, they notice when a loved one is missing from home. And yes, they had gone out to fetch him, and there he was, walking in with the gnomes.
In the land of fairies and gnomes
Was a gnome often seen on the phone
An up to date fairy
With armpits quite hairy
Like all baseball players was spit prone
© Jack Ellison 2015
Leafy ferns and little frogs
Toads live in the garden
Weeds and grass and daffodils
And poop...I beg your pardon
Yes poop is in there from the cat
That roams around the houses
Just pick it out or grind it in
It should be full of mouses (meeces or mice)
There's ceramic figurines in there
Little deers and little dogs
To go along with little stones
And plastic little logs
But, beware the garden gnome
A treacherous beast is he
With evil eyes and long white beard
He is plotting after thee
The garden gnome looks daffy
In his jacket and his hat
But, look deep in the gnomey eyes
And you'll see just where he's at
There's rubbish blown from up the road
Candy wrappers and old tins
The neighbor kids are lazy so,
They never throw it in the bins
The cat lies sunning lazily
Beneath a summer sun of gold
With it's job of chasing meeces down
For a while, put on hold
There's ivy, climbing everywhere
And things you can not tell
They got there from the squirrels
But you keep them for the smell
But, beware the garden gnome
A treacherous beast is he
With evil eyes and long white beard
He is plotting after thee
The garden gnome looks daffy
In his jacket and his hat
But, look deep in the gnomey eyes
And you'll see just where he's at
You tend the garden lovingly
Moving figures in and out
You never move the gnomes too much
Too much trouble, I won't doubt
You transplant flowers, move some trees
Cut the weeds back, till the soil
You head inside, the whistle blows
The kettles on the boil
While you are gone, something goes on
The gnomes attack the cat
You come back out, and wonder why
The gnome has lost his hat
yes, beware the garden gnome
A treacherous beast is he
With evil eyes and long white beard
He is plotting after thee
The garden gnome looks daffy
In his jacket and his hat
But, look deep in the gnomey eyes
And you'll see he's looking at the cat!!
Garden decorations
Generally bearded;
Guardians of treasures,
German speaking, it’s said.
Groomed to perfection by
Goblins, fairies and elves,
Gnomes rule the banking world!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Gnomes is slang for Swiss bankers.
Contest: Pleiades – G
Sponsor: Kim Merryman
© 30th November 2016
I enjoy my gnomes
They live in my garden
Every day I look out
Keeping watch on them
To make sure they're safe
g
Each one has a name
Jack the mountain climber
He scales the alps at a slow pace
Never reaches the top
Yet he never gives up
Tom is happy to play soccer
He plays every day
Rain or shine he goes
To join his team mates
On the soccer field
Fred is a magician
He practices all the time
For a show twice a week
It's for the sick children
They enjoy his many talents
These are my gnomes
Each one is special
Doing their own thing
Each enjoy a different role
passing time in my garden
I love the gnomes
I m drawn to them
One time I had twelve
I named all of them
I named him Chris
He holds a gift for me
Another one I named
Charlie
I have a tumbler
With gnomes and hearts
shapes
When waiting in a line
It called out to me
So I bought it
I take my tumbler
everywhere I go
Instead of isolation
consider oscillation
Proof positive
is clear to see
It all boils down
to frequency
Which of these words
hits close to home
a metronome or
garden gnome?
Their differentiation
lies in oscillation
Metronomes oscillate
tick-tick-tick
Garden gnomes isolate in
s i l e n c e
s i l e n c e
s i l e n c e
Will tick-tick-tick
define your life
or silence filled with
fear and strife?
Proof positive
is clear to see
It all boils down
to frequency
Instead of isolation
consider oscillation
Live life one tick at a time
Meter matters as does rhyme
Situational awareness
Won’t protect you if you’re careless
How much better at day’s end
to be found kind
Life's passions all absorbed on green grasses
as the innocent treasures tamed and measured
accordingly we shy away the aftermath of past
stoned bridges enhance the connection point
while the cold calmness unwind the myths
for our must we define a place hidden where as
the teak wood stained with old disagreements
left unsaid and so morbidly left undone
as we hinder to blades of shame while
the light in the chambers of this excellent
brownstone manner as the banner swing
my own practice in my own time as this is
my space a place where inside looking out speaks
to the gnomes on the lawns why the rain leaks
the lost pebbles from pass over showers
distinctively poured like clock work and yet
the client approaches the foyer the beginning
of a sit down as the Lincoln doors are doing
an open and shut dance for the laws in the land
as I charm the gnomes at Cambridge arms
All of the Gnomes from around the globe
Just sneezed their very last sneeze
They've had enough of this allergy stuff
And from the garden they're taking their leave
They packed up their bags, donned their bonnet's and caps
Left in the cover of night
Said goodbye to the trees along with the birds and the bees
And headed out for the big city life
No one had a clue from which wind the Gnomes blew
It was Wa-La they were suddenly there
From Bankers to Lawyers to Tele-marketer callers
They infiltrated every career
Soon they were drinking like fountains as the bills started mounting
With the pressures of the ride to the top
Pills became an everyday need to stay awake and fall asleep
Not sure when this madness will stop
On top of it all they started to cough from the smog
And wondered which one was the worst
The garden allergies or this black lung disease
Either way the Gnomes felt mankind's curse
So they turned in their suits and their ill gotten loot
And took a trip back to the suberbs
Now in the garden they smile cause they know all the while
Yes...it could be a lot worse
'Twas today I saw a gnome, or maybe even two?
They saw me and asked, "my dear, just who are you?"
They were jumping and playing
In the forest with such glee
It was in a thick ray of light
Three little hats I could then see!
One asked me to join them
The other two frowned
My eyes were just fooling me
But in a brook I just about drowned!
OUR HOUSE OUR HOME
All my years I have been a sensitive soul,
But life throws curved balls- things take their toll,
However, if I’m handled with a touch of magic
And kindness,
I look upon this approach as being priceless!
I’m having a hard time adjusting,
I need you to be bursting
With understanding,
For my re-adjusting!
A huge house, built on almost
An acre,
My garden which I tenderly landscaped,
To be left behind, is a true shaker,
To my very core, I prayed to Our Maker
To guide me and hold both my hands,
He always supports me and by me stands,
I hear Him whispering to me,
Be brave, soon it will all come to be!
I suddenly see a vision of my wonderful Dad,
Who has always been my guardian angel,
In life,
During happy times and strife,
And with his dying breath,
Moments before his death,
Said, I could face anything that crossed
My path,
Handle challenges thoughtfully, carefully,
He quietly said, with a token of mirth.
He knew that I would always try my best,
And that God would help me with the rest!
Now settled in the cosiest, cutest of homes,
With A small fairy like garden, brought my
Favorite pots and even our garden gnomes!
Gorgeous garden gnome with spring flowers
Loving his life, standing in April showers
Enjoying his perspective of daffodils so new
Gentle rains send him some morning dew.
Frisky female gnome shows him some love
Leaves behind a memento, a left garden glove
Her scent lingers, giving him an eager romantic thought.
In his dream they frolic, doing an old-fashioned foxtrot.
Gnomes in the bedroom, faeries in the hall.
Fey folks all over, none of them are too tall.
Night time magic giggles hilarious to me.
Of course mischief galore, everywhere you see.
Nefarious gnomes cannot be reasoned with.
Brownies join in. They give me a quick sniff.
My husband is hiding under a stack of junk.
He thought this make believe was bunk.
My deep easy sleep is a thing of the past now.
They are singing, and one is beginning to growl.
Crazy laughter is traveling all over the house.
I am excited. Hubby is beginning to grouse.
Are they tipsy or what my unhappy husband has groaned.
They are not drinkers, I told him from my place on the throne.
They are merely coming to pay respects to me.
For I am the one who opened the magic oak tree.
How long will they stay he asked with concern.
I knew I did not know, and might never learn.
The fey folks do not share their time tables or their way.
For all I knew they were staying six months and a day.
Fix some peanut butter sandwiches, I urged him.
They do not like the smell. This was a sudden whim.
They swarmed out the door as soon as he popped the lid.
Back tomorrow! One yelled. Through the door she promptly slid.
Why can’t you paint canvases of ordinary stuff?
My husband accused me. His face was a puff.
I like faeries, gnomes and elves I said, really quite pleased.
Knowing they would return on the next holiday breeze.
The gnomes passed an ordinance saying what they would accept.
Many of them ignored it for they did not want to genuflect.
It’s not a choice, the queen said. Post it on the big oak trees.
If a gnome does not abide, make him walk around on his weak knobby knees.
That seemed kind of awful to some of the faeries and elves passing this way.
I think I will move a little bit faster said a grandma pixie named McVey.
I am right with you, said a grandpa parrot who knew how to circumspect.
With gnomes, however, many of the wise fey never know what to expect.
In my coffin I will have no phone
At last I shall be free like new born babe
But how will people hear my mobile groans?
Who shall write my story on a stone?
I can’t ring Emergency for aid
In my coffin I will have no phone
I must have a linen sheet untorn
Be reminded I’ve already paid
How will people hear my mobile groans?
Out we go, as in we, came alone
Will someone sing for me , oh humming bird
In my coffin I will need no phone
We will die as we have lived, atoned
I hope a human person hears my words
Help us all,dear God, to forestall groans
Free from medications .free of nerves
Straight to Heaven atop our loved ones prayers
In my coffin I shan’t be alone
I want to go with all my gnomes
I want to go with all my garde