Best Flat Footed Poems
i am an old man
when i look in the mirror
i don’t see me
a resemblance of my past
but know things aren’t
always what they seem
my skin is wrinkled and thin
i bruise easily
though not emotionally
my arms have spots not freckles
my sight and views are
becoming blurred and vague
choices made in my younger daze
left gaps between
my teeth and memory
i’m guarded about
revealing either one
the soles of my shoes flare
making it easier
to take things in stride
i have arch supports
so as not to be caught flat footed
the Cloud has
nothing to do with
information storage
but more the cause of
hide and seek with the
the sun and the past
i talk to myself
trying to get a consensus
to show i’m not crazy
the conversation
usually ends in a stalemate
and nobody wins
when i retired
everyday became Saturday
i start and finish
everything and nothing today
yesterday is gone
and tomorrow comes to quickly
when i look in the mirror
i see the lines i drew
in the sand and in my life
a resemblance of a past
maybe things are
what they appear to be
after all, i am an old man
Hungry for munchies, on his way to the lunchroom,
a rambunctious, persnickety,“fuss-budget”, elderly
jittery, fidgety, geezer, named Cassidy…
whose questionable dexterity, aghast by a massive sneeze,
teeter-tottered precariously.
at the edge of the thingamajig, ...jigging one way, jagging the other!
Minding his own beeswax, without any rigmarole,
topsy-turvy on his feet, he reached for the balustrade,
became quite flabbergasted, and very discombobulated
when the doohickey provided for his ambidextrous aid
jiggled free from its screws, and found him footloose!
It seemed the doo-dad, put there by some nitpicking pipsqueak,
some flat-footed, hooligan, who knew diddly-squat, who obviously,
recklessly, constructed a railing, only worthy for failing!
Such foolhardy shenanigans! Was it some practical joke
to lambaste aged codgers, eliminate lodgers, and boondoggle the old folks?
Cass, was an old rabble-rouser, considered a blabbermouth,
was thrown off his epicenter, while his cane went a'sailing, appendages flailing
Onlookers, were outraged, ....in stage of amazement
but laughs grew contagious, and cock-eyed hilarious!
Those carpetbagger carbuncles of society….can’t stop this old fogy
Cass, brushed off his hinny, would not be blind-sighted..
Barbaric bedevilment, won’t halt his felicity!
Some even predicted, with his acid tongue lashings, and his eccentric behavior,
he would stir up entanglement, kibosh the haranguers
and strangle the caboodles, who hooted and hollered!
His face turned beet red, but no meltdown,......instead
He held his chin high
to the dining room, ahead....he ordered French bread
Ordered some bouillabaisse, toasted with balderdash and a shot of rye
He dined with the multitudes, ordered some strudel, and one snicker-doodle
Then he told folks a riddle, "There was a man with a cane, who slipped on a noodle, a handrail came loose, he injured his caboose….and cooked his goose!"
.....................................................
These humorous lines were inspired by
Viv Wigley's "Food Fight" contest.
Could not resist the temptation:)
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Lettuce pray before eating.
He likes rabbit, but can’t stand hair in stew.
A carrot is worth its weight in gold.
To lam a lamb? Terrible!!
Is it wise to pare a pear before eating?
Chopin onions – not musical but certainly tearful!
The bull’s life is at steak.
Cross my heart said the honest brussel sprout.
The pig was too thin...that saved his bacon.
Wearing a bird costume sent me raven mad.
Buy caviar from stir gin’s row.
The servant was maid to eat umble pie.
She could hardly talk after eating hoarse meat.
He’s wrapped up in his food.
Humbug! This is apple sauce!
Excitement in the kitchen – fat in the fire.
A flounder struggles to walk. It’s flat footed.
I enjoyed my drink – pleased as Punch.
One look at the dessert...I scream!
Take the guilt off the gingerbread.
I invited the golfer to high tee.
Take your plaice at the table; we’re eating fish today.
Open the lid and reveal some of the meat.
What a pity! The gobbling turkey had a lump in its throat.
The peacemeal destroyed our friendship.
Make no bones about filleted fish.
Next time just ask for dessert; don’t mince words.
Keep your eye on the roast, or else it will go to pot.
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Placed 3rd
© 28th December 2017
while shadow boxing
sometimes
i kept on
moving dancing and
a prancing
just bouncing
off the ropes
in my imagination and
suddenly i caught
my opponent shadow off guard
standing flat footed
so i use
the sweet science of boxing
with some
stiff jabs plus
some body shots
back up to the head
then the overhand right
that knocked
my shadow out cold
yeah ten feet off the ground
towards outer space
well
i just kept on dancing.
sticking and moving
popping the jabs with my gloves
weaving in and out
quick-lightning hand speed
toe-to-toe
man-to-man
the sweet science
inside the boxing ring
still, lives inside of me
I was jogging,
I saw a quack;
I stop and pondered;
What is that?
I thought this, this is wack;
Look at my slacks;
They had gotten wet;
From water I didn't spill nor did I sweat;
And I bet, ya! wondering;
Just what's going on;
Am I hallucinating.........
while still on the trail on the track,
In my wet drench now jogging slacks;
This here unpleasant, wasn't a pheasant;
For you see he poke and peck;
Yet you still wonder and ponder;
This flat-footed wonder was a Duck!!
JUST MY LUCK THE QUACK THAT WAS WACK WAS A DUCK--
yaaaaay ouch yeaaaa help!!!!
4/9/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
That's not my elephant
although it looks a lot like me
pallad and grey
and sometwhat wrinkly and she responds to Ella today!
and even though I am flat footed too
at least I am not stepping lightly on lily pads
nope, not my elephant shoe!
That's not my elephant-the one with spagetti in her mouth
looking comical and funny as it were
because you can never have too many friends
be them sleek or be them with fur.
That's not my elephant-though I took her to school
all the 2nd graders thought she was cool
they wanted to ride her but I said go
even though the elephants' bill of rights clearly said "No"
then heedlessly the words come tumbling from my lips
take care of that wise and saged elephant
that is captured on all my photo trips.
Forbidden To Me
I groan flat footed
my love
For your witches brew I drank
Those words
you wrote
goblins sink
not me
For your
broomstick's journey
through our house
of no love
crimped
my hopes
Still
I'm tickled by your pinks
Your lips
I phantom
singing a sweet melody
your song
spawning
blue skies
forbidden to me
To my lonely eyes
a sighting of you
a longing
a few words
forbidden to me
A sadness I emit
my love
a groan
from pits of my hell
Yet
lending of your ears
a forbidden apple for me
I admit
... to the core
in the wake
of your forbidden spells on me
I would take a bite, my love
connie pachecho
7/29/17
I Wear My Gun Easily, Loaded Well At Night
I meet my sacrifice with ample gratitude
Although with muted tongue, my ghost sings loudly
That crystal indifference soothes my attitude
None sing romance so damn righteously or proudly
Although never crowned prince nor pauper I be
My fighting sword and armor is polished gold
Sail I my ship and crew across dark, stormy sea
Far north to angry city or so I am told
I left far behind my foolish ideas of white
Knowing that some judges are cheap, easily bought
I wear my gun easily, loaded well at night
Insurance so as not to be flat footed caught.
I meet my sacrifice with ample gratitude
That crystal indifference soothes my attitude
I left far behind my foolish ideas of white
I wear my gun easily, loaded well at night.
Robert J, Lindley, 16 verse sonnet
DEC 1ST 1973
Note-
"" None are as good as they pretend
None are brave as they want to be
Yet all cry out for happy end
Even blinded, as they look to see."" RJL
The trees in the park today
Swaying in the breeze
Saying goodbye to summer
And hello to autumn,
Clothed in their display of
Greens and browns and
Russets and yellows
That drift and flutter
And slide to the ground
To form a soft carpet
At the footpaths edge
That rustles and crackles
And whispers underfoot
To accompany the sheer
Pleasure of walking
Flat footed through it.
Perhaps this is a gift to say
We are starting to prepare
For the sleep of winter.
We’ll be back in the spring
Goodbye for now.
And so the trees in the park
Settle down for their long rest.
I walk that park day after day
And watch for the first signs
Of new green leaves and shoots
That welcomes back the spring
And signals the start of a
New cycle of natural rebirth
And anticipating
In March 2001, Melania granted green card
asper elite EB-1 program
intended for renowned academic researchers,
multinational business executives
(linkedin with Uncle SAM)
or those in other fields, such as
Olympic athletes and Oscar-winning actors,
who demonstrated
“sustained national and international acclaim”
until...now, when (FAKE trophy wife)...
besieged with WHAM!
The Don whips to defense of
(legal residency status),
sans his third wife
imbroglio finds the president flat footed
regarding spouses' granted citizenry permission rife,
where details concerning former
in vogue Slovak model now cushy life
challenging her right to live in The United States,
the most Democratic nation
plus concomitant abrogation
afforded robber Baroness admission
dispensing hot button issue of CHAIN MIGRATION,
where sentiment underscored verbatim
"Some people come in,
and they bring their whole family with them,
who can be truly evil. NOT ACCEPTABLE!”
The above on record as authentic Trumpian tweet,
hence quoted with poetic license,
a prime example how two
(or more faced) president didst react to un seat
fairness, which November twitter
allowing parents with bearhug he did greet
legal residency of her parents,
Viktor and Amalija Knavs, as Elite
who received figurative green light
despite riding piggyback
Nsync with military beat
ting back pesky atop flimsy green card,
the freedom appetite got whet
scrutiny, and now a ironic Gordian Knot set
tilled and solved making mincemeat to pet
files, particularly equality
for those skeined alive in the DACA net
ready to boot innocent offspring
of supposed illegal aliens on the next departing jet!
A Moment in Time
A moment in time…
Like no other -
No twin or triplet –
Sharing the split second
In eternity’s space
As minutes chase
Perpetual movement of earth -
A meeting of fleeting glances
Momentary held in eyes of seekers
A possibility – opportunities
Running by on flashing silver sandals
Waving
Throwing kisses of solutions revealed -
Another layer of life unpeeled
In blinding clarity
Never replayed;
No flat footed response for the note
Not repeated;
Though time may bear sharp teeth
Like instances cascading torrents
Moves on into anonymity
When purest understanding smiles
In a breath
A sigh
A sneeze
A glimpse
Touching creation’s destiny in a wink,
Grabbing onto golden rings -
Choosing one momentary diamond
Refracted by the magic of the miracle gift –
One moment in time –
An epic told only once.
7/27/20
Based on Whitney Houston’s song - One Moment in Time
dang it bang it gang
tempos changed again
flat footed duck pucked
a buck sucked a mother
up O freakin luck.
~Use some fours dog~
Pinky.Ninja fogs the blog
tossin bones some fun
sunny Number One
Jive knows a girl swirls
in a junglin congo and a
car?Pet Picasso? wft
do you know? So...
~It's all good~
http://izzysgumbo.blogspot.com/
Form:
When Your Young Life Catches You Flat Footed
BarBQ, potato chips Mountain Dew and Watermelon pie
It was a huge celebration of friends on the Fourth of July
There was Tammy with beautiful hair and those dark tanned legs
And Patricia looking so sexy, appetizing, made a soul want to beg
Then ravishing Connie, O, me my, my, those sweet sexy lips
Last but not least there was Helen, that made Greeks launch those ships
Four very beautiful women and each one I had once dated
I wonder if the day would be a curse that was indeed ill Fated
And each one of them was surely there to see little ole me
I did not know whether to be very glad or so swiftly flee
My new wife looked at me, gave me that "you better behave stare"
I was immediately wishing these feet to rush me out of there
What to do next, what to say, damn it, I had not a clue
I was so deeply perplexed, and thus into the house I flew
"Man o man", the pressure on my heart surely hit me damn hard
Like a wise man, I went and hid in my library, writing like a Bard.
Robert J. Lindley,
16 verse Narrative
Flat-footed runner
Makes a slapping, splashing sound
Under the rainbow.
UNSUPPORTED CODE
The blinding speed of his fists and feet
made all his fastest foes flat-footed
as around the target of his jabs
he swirled and danced, he flew and flitted.
Today he limps, wobbles and dodders
much slower than an arthritic snail,
with astigmatic eyes he peers and squints,
much like a cross-eyed, sleepless quail.
Of his bloated ego, giant belts,
his chest-thumping, his blabber-mouthing,
they were mere media hype and hoopla,
he says, for commercial packaging.
What the fans saw wasn't what they got,
but they made him boxing's wealthiest,
"I'm among the grittiest, " he says,
"But, maybe for now, the world's greatest !"