Best Flab Poems

Last winter's resolution gone by spring
So I never did the bikini thing

  The same five pounds
  Still hanging around

I sigh and stare at...

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I want to be a vegan
I want to give up meat
I want hemp DM's to wear upon my feet
No more burgers, sausages and no more...

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They restricted celebrations,
forget your relations.

They restricted travel,
watched families unravel.

They restricted purchases,
no provided services.

They closed the schools,
those were the new rules.

They closed the churches,
no Sunday soul...

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Every morning is the same,
Standing staring at my frame,
Looks no different from last night,
Flab is still winning the fight,

Scales hate me, sure they lie,
I only...

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Those endless talks of 
giving the fat a trim
Beauty is now the 
monopoly of the slim! 

Sinuous and slender
The hourglass figure
The thinner, the better.

Dieting and...

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Take a second look at me, for beneath this midriff flab
and balding pate and wrinkly skin you'll find a science lab.
And though all may seem...

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Umpf . . . Umpf . . . Squeeze . . . Squeeze
    
     Tuck that flab in...

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Learning to Love Myself

Slowly, very slowly, am I coming to terms with how I look
My double-chinned face, my flabby arms, my stomach.
I think to myself...

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Uncomfortable confronting 
your continuous consumption to which you're accustomed, 
the crunch, the chew, it's all you do, 
most munch at lunch while you the whole...

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My recent encounter, an annual checkup
with blood tests and pressure, my height against weight
are all carried out to check my bits are working
and put back...

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Ambitious once, a baseball pro,
   For sure I thought I’d be,
But games I watch now let me know
   Old men are...

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People do aerobics
So their bodies stay in shape.
Slacking off means all that flab
Reverses its escape.

Just like muscles turn to mush
If workout time’s ignored,
Lethargy may leach...

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I cannot help but beg you,
Remove that techno-chair
From your pasted, flab-induction limbs.
Taste some heat and sunshine and
Let the wind goose-bump your skin....

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I am small
and gaining WEIGHT
from the chips that I had ATE
Just around the BEND(I can barely do that,FRIEND)
Gut around the MIDDLE while my nephew tells...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I've never been able to win.
I wound up having sex with my mother-in-law again.
She seduced me one night when I was...

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