Best Defrost Poems
Sub-titled: What’s in YOUR Fridge?
Please allow me to introduce myself:
My name is Ms. Fridge A. Daire
I stand tall among my lesser cohorts
and MOST of them really look up to me
However, I have two problems:
First, I’m FED UP with my owner
He's always opening my door
reaching deep inside (Oooh yeah!)
helping himself to my goodies
without EVER cleaning me out
or scrubbing me from top to bottom
Doesn’t he know a woman has NEEDS?
Then there’s that stupid stove next to me
who’s constantly flirting and making passes
Says he wants to ‘warm me up’ and ‘defrost’ me
bragging that I’ve ‘got the hots’ for him
which absolutely makes my Freon boil!
Of course, I always give him the cold shoulder
by freezing him with my famous icy stare
and responding, “Simmer down Four-Eyes"
or “I don’t date shorter appliances"
But he’s always cooking up something else...
So I asked my owner to move me to another spot
He said he would if I wasn’t so heavy...HEAVY?
What kind of thing is THAT to say to a lady?
He also claims there’s no other place to plug me
PLUG me? Who does he think I am anyhow?
I found it quite crude and vulgar! ANYWAY...
I suggested an extension cord and he blew a fuse!
Geez, no wonder he’s still single...
It was my first Thanksgiving dinner as his wife
so I wanted the meal to be perfect in every way
But...trembling in fear, I cut my finger with a knife
It was the beginning of a day in piteous disarray
I didn't know a turkey would take so long to thaw
and I couldn't defrost the fat bird in the microwave
Agitated, I was afraid I'd have to serve it half raw
so, I parboiled it a while. My predicament was grave
The cranberries were cooking and started to pop
Then I noticed my sore finger was bleeding once more
Blood fell into the sauce pan; more than just a drop
Gotta serve it anyway. No time to go back to the store
My mother-in-law, Mary Ann, had a smirk on her face
She looks like a wild rabbit, both have wrinkled noses
I bedecked the table in my cloth of embroidered lace
finger bleeding again from thorns, darn those roses!
It's a Murphy's Law day for me cuz I've developed a tic
Face is twitching, but the turkey's roasting in the oven
People bustling in my kitchen. It's a comedy of slapstick
Cousin Benny wants a taste of my cornbread stuffin'
STUFFIN'? NO NO! I hadn't given the dish a thought
Could I make it from potatoes? I've got piles of those
I needed a drink; my frazzled nerves were distraught
Then sozzled Uncle Frank started taking off his clothes
We filled our plates as hubby, Jake, carved the bird
I gasped when I saw a bag of something on the platter
Mary Ann shrieked in laughter and shouted, "My word!!"
I had no clue it was in there. I became the Mad Hatter.
To the kitchen I retreated to ready the apple crumble
A laxative added to Mary Ann's to give her the poops
After dinner she dashed and crashed in a nasty tumble
I smiled with satisfaction and simply exclaimed, "OOPS."
This darkness overwhelmes me yet a glow it lights my path
a fire burns inside me to defrost the winters wrath
This weight I bear suppresses hope and brings me to my knees
Yet someone here has heard my moans and calms my raging seas
Time and time again I fall, so wearily I tread
But then appears an outstretched hand, and nothing more is said
she lifted me beyond the precipice of laden fears
embraced me in her tenderness and wiped away my tears
This lonliness that fills the space where joy did once reside
Is lessened by a friendly soul, with whom I can confide
Heavens light sent from above, a stepping stone of hope
Placed along this winding road to help this blind man cope
[Written during a twelve hour power cut caused by
Storms this past winter]
The storm that arrived in the depth of the night
Got even worse with the new morning’s light
Although I presumed that they’d already know
I contacted the electricity co
I asked if they knew the whole town had gone dark
Are you fixing it or just having a lark
I think that I upset the man on the phone
He told me to wear a coat inside my home
Just listen to me, I said to the geezer
I think you should know I’ve got a dead freezer
Without any leccy it’s gonna defrost
And all of its contents are gonna be lost
We’re trying to sort it all out said the man
But I would suggest that you eat what you can
So I checked the freezer to sort out my tea
My cooker is gas which is lucky for me
I made my selection from my warming freezer
Fish fingers and chips… and ice cream and pizza
Sausages, drumsticks, a tasty rib-eye
Two rocket lollies, a steak and ale pie
Some prawns that I think have defrosted before
(I’m still gonna eat them because I’m not sure)
Some old sausage rolls from Christmas last year
A fisherman’s pie I’d forgotten was here
Another small pizza with awful fake cheese
An out of date bag full of freezer burned peas
Four quarter pounders and thinly sliced beans
I think I might loosen the belt of my jeans
Hardened and solid white
thinly coated in icy tears,
so cold becomes the heart
devoid of love for many years.
No fires kindled in it's chambers
the beat still steady, but growing faint,
I accepted it and did not care
to even issue a complaint.
Time ticks on and changes hearts
even the ones that cannot feel,
I needed to know about love
what its like when it's for real.
So caress this heart of mine
so gingerly as you take,
because a heart so frozen
can still crack and break.
Let it melt away slowly
instead of rushing to defrost,
with gentle warmth near me
all fears will become lost.
My shyness, too, disappears
when trust is truly found,
resting in your palms
fingertips embraced around.
My heart is your trinket now
held closely to your own,
heating to a glowing red
what once was cold as stone.
Jack frost had paid a call,
The morn was all a-glitter.
Icicles dangled from frozen gutters,
The day was cold and bitter.
Greetings of "good morning "
Came from here and there
As the hardy left their houses,
To face the freezing air.
I heard familiar sounds
Echoing around our street,
Neighbours scraping windscreens
And stamping frozen feet.
Clouds of exhaled breath
Rose up to the sky,
As if ghostly, silent steam trains
Were slowly drifting by.
The sound of engines running,
As people warmed their cars.
It was the communal defrost,
Beneath early morning stars.
*For Matt's How to Build a Spaceship Contest
How do we create an airship that soars?
The answer was Roswell’s, but it could be yours
Make the long trek to Area 51
To find secrets that lie beyond our sun
Use a metal that is lighter than tin foil
Load the fuel tank with something cheaper than oil
Beam us up, Scotty, to the Enterprise
And view technology through a Vulcan’s eyes
Defrost Walt Disney’s cryogenic brain
To help us design the computer’s mainframe
Call Mulder and Scully out of retirement
Their UFO knowledge is alien-sent
Be sure to use tiles that don’t overheat
Like those that cast Challenger down to defeat
Let’s add Stephen King to the construction crew
If “Christine” could talk, our spaceship should too
Then let’s send the tab for NASA to pay
What happened to our space program bucks anyway?
Now we can blast Congress into outer space
For the lot in D.C., there’s no better place
Your lost yourself
-Just Stop
You became what you tossed
heart covered by frost
you became what you feared
being alone,
-You disappeared
You lost yourself
-Just scream
soon you covered by darkness
swallowed by the lockness
soon life was just not worth living
you haven’t received what you’ve been giving
You lost yourself
-Just Breathe
hold it. let it go
just stop asking why
remember a butterfly will fly
regardless of the storm nearby
You lost yourself
-Just dream
the light will overpower the darkness
the love will kill the lockness
soon life will be giving
what you thought was not worth living
you lost yourself
-Just Live
your heart will defrost
not everything will seem so lost
what you feared
being alone,
-isn’t as severe
You lost yourself
just stop
just scream
just breathe
just dream
just live
Butterfly,
regardless you will fly
-Just don’t ask why.
Form:
Space Shot
If I were a scientist I'd build a massive gun
To blast myself beyond the moon and then beyond the sun
I say the sun but it’s a star, our closest so I'm told
But I would keep on going cos the stars just leave me cold
They’re balls of burning gases and I’m sorry to be fickle
They always burn your tootsies and they defrost your popsicle
So on I'd travel speeding like a nuke intergalactic
Glad I built my launcher out of metal and not plastic
Lest I fail my mission, I'll rally and jet on
No meteorite shall halt my flight, I'll have my helmet on
I only hope that as I go my lungs don't spill my breath
For who would then inform you of my sad untimely death
My sole intent to land upon a planet like our earth
And so I would send word instead about my second birth
I'd need to make a missile that could take my message home
But first I'd make a shelter, perhaps a perspex dome
Once I'm fed and rested I would make another shooter
For there's no way that I could make an Interstellar scooter
If that's what you expected I must demonstrate defiance
My skills are in ballistics and not in rocket science
Dear Lord this year to save time being lost
remind me- Turkey, Christmas Eve- defrost.
And when it's in the oven, leave no doubt
that I forgot to take the giblets out.
Five loaves, two fishes you fed five thousand,
may I feed six with far less food to hand
since each year bags of food we buy a few
the wheelie bin eats better than we do.
You love little children, what joy they bring,
for me, as tranquilizer, Sherry's king.
I pray , Lord, as I open my gift box
I look pleased with my snowman themed bed socks.
Please let me use only the choicest words
when queueing for pork pies at dawn, at 'Birds' *.
We thank you for the gift of Brussels sprouts
and hinged windows to let the odours out.
Peace keeper may I be as it gets late
and nobody offers to wash the plates.
Above all, Lord, may I remember who
this season is about, and it is you.
* Birds is our local bakery
And it shall come to pass--
A dominance of mighty arms
will
Throw destructive stones at
the
Sufferers that rebel.
Knees will plant in the earth
And pleas for mercy will be
On many tongues.
In the falling rain of brim
stones
The mother land will weep
For innocent is in the
Blood of the lying bodies,
For innocent are the hands
That wrote their Solidarity
On plaque-cards and took
To the Street.
In the rain of piercing
ammunitions
She will weep a level of tears
That can extinguish the Sun
Or defrost the moon that
frozen
Upon the wall of the sky.
In the rain of falling tears and
Oozing blood
She will weep when she
behold her
Sheep been persecuted by
their
Shepherd because they
refused
To continue eat the grass of
Oppression.
Guns out this morning Babylon
coming again.
Finishing up the last notes from my work day, I’m really late,
Looking out my window, my drive tonight, I’m going to hate.
I grab my briefcase and walk to my car, on a sheet of ice.
Slipping and sliding left and right, this is not going to be nice.
Takes twenty minutes to clear the snow from my car window,
If I can hardly move, how will my car drive, I just don’t know.
Hitting the windshield, the snowflakes are big, puffy and white,
They fly at you almost hypnotizing, you completely lose sight.
Once you reach country roads the white knuckles truly begin,
If you can keep between the hydro poles, you may just win.
Hold on tight, keep your wheel straight, put your lights on low,
Pray your defrost keeps working as you make through the snow.
A blanket of whiteness envelopes you, no sounds or lights to see,
Alone in this blizzard, you drive, terrifying, yet a strange tranquility.
Once home, after a good night’s sleep, you arise from bed at seven,
Trees iced in froth, the ground painted white, looks a bit like heaven.
Sun comes up, temperatures rise and once again green appears,
Nature makes the world safe again, slowly melts away your fears.
To think that I could have easily been killed driving home last night,
You consider the beauty of country living and soon forget the fright.
Written September 9, 2012
For Joy Wellington’s contest
“Weather Forecast”
Start the engine; hit defrost.
Find your scraper brush.
Swipe the windows first as you
Get rid of all the mush.
Clean the mirrors and the lights;
Don’t forget the roof.
You can get a ticket
With the snow up top as proof.
Get behind the steering wheel;
Hit the gas and move
Back and forth until you’ve made
A likely exit groove.
Shut the engine; lock the doors.
Some peace of mind you’ve bought
Until the snow plows block you in,
Your efforts all for naught.
IF YOU WONDER*
Wonder not, my friend, that the
buds of love seldom bloom in
Men’s souls,
It’s because of
The blizzard of self-indulgence that
Hardly ever allows care for others to
Defrost!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
10 OCTOBER 2013
*Answer to Jack Ellison’s verse:
“What a wonderful place this
world would be If love replaced hate in
men's souls.”
From his poem “Eileen and I”
So... I wake up too late,
And go to bed way too early,
I rush her to the bus stop,
I'm all crazy and haphazardly,
Walking home I wake up,
I rush in and see my boys,
My pug and golden retriever,
Too lazy to make any noise.
Time to feed the rabbit,
And the turtle comes next,
Oh it's so much work,
So I lay down and rest.
Watch a couple shows,
Make myself a little lunch,
I see all the dirty dishes,
And I get a tiny hunch.
But....
Time flies way too fast,
I have to go back to the bus,
To pick up my princess,
So late and in a rush.
Time to defrost the chicken,
And go start the grill,
Make a side dish,
Same ol' song and drill.
I start to count the minutes,
For my hubby to come home,
Watch him pull in the driveway,
And smell his sweet cologne.
Almost time for bed,
The dishes can wait for surely,
Cuz' I wake up way too late,
And go to bed too early.