Lin Lane Poet Rhyme

Thanksgiving Dinner Gone Awry

It was my first Thanksgiving dinner as his wife
so I wanted the meal to be perfect in every way
But...trembling in fear, I cut my finger with a knife
It was the beginning of a day in piteous disarray

I didn't know a turkey would take so long to thaw
and I couldn't defrost the fat bird in the microwave
Agitated, I was afraid I'd have to serve it half raw
so, I parboiled it a while. My predicament was grave

The cranberries were cooking and started to pop
Then I noticed my sore finger was bleeding once more
Blood fell into the sauce pan; more than just a drop
Gotta serve it anyway. No time to go back to the store

My mother-in-law, Mary Ann, had a smirk on her face
She looks like a wild rabbit, both have wrinkled noses
I bedecked the table in my cloth of embroidered lace
finger bleeding again from thorns, darn those roses!

It's a Murphy's Law day for me cuz I've developed a tic
Face is twitching, but the turkey's roasting in the oven
People bustling in my kitchen. It's a comedy of slapstick
Cousin Benny wants a taste of my cornbread stuffin'

STUFFIN'? NO NO! I hadn't given the dish a thought
Could I make it from potatoes? I've got piles of those
I needed a drink; my frazzled nerves were distraught
Then sozzled Uncle Frank started taking off his clothes

We filled our plates as hubby, Jake, carved the bird
I gasped when I saw a bag of something on the platter
Mary Ann shrieked in laughter and shouted, "My word!!"
I had no clue it was in there. I became the Mad Hatter.

To the kitchen I retreated to ready the apple crumble
A laxative added to Mary Ann's  to give her the poops
After dinner she dashed and crashed in a nasty tumble
I smiled with satisfaction and simply exclaimed, "OOPS."

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Line Gauthier November 18, 2019 at 9:47 AM Bravo, Lin. What a delightful poem. Totally enjoyed. Congrats on your well deserved POTD. Lin Lane December 1, 2019 at 9:38 AM Merci, Line.

Kim Rodrigues November 18, 2019 at 6:49 AM LOL...in the same room with Jan? Oh crap! Congratulations on your humorous write! I served my father-in-law “rubber chicken” alas the early days of marriage ;) Congrats on POTD, Lin! Lin Lane November 18, 2019 at 9:32 AM Thanks, Kim.

Darlene De Beaulieu November 12, 2019 at 1:54 PM Hello Lin Lane, that would be a Thanksgiving Day you will never forget. Have a nice day my friend. Lin Lane November 17, 2019 at 8:22 AM Thank you, Darlene.

Robert Lindley November 11, 2019 at 1:41 PM Great entertainment, a delightful humorous piece my friend-- now which bits actually happened? lol... Tis the season again for Turkey and Dressing. Just be careful around knives as blood stains are hard to remove from clothing. Not to mention the cuts are painful. A fav, as this cheers my day with its humor. Lin Lane November 11, 2019 at 4:24 PM To bring a smile or a moment of laughter at my silliness makes me happy. Thank you for the kind words. The only event that really happened was me not knowing there was a pack of giblets in the neck. I was so young.

Gershon Wolf November 8, 2019 at 8:47 AM Sounds like Murphy's Law was working overtime that Thanksgiving Day---yet look at how much pleasure has been derived from your being able to laugh a bit at it now,...and let others roar. You get the 'Good Sport of the Year' award, Lin, in addition to your richly deserved POTD! Smiles, Gershon Lin Lane November 8, 2019 at 10:11 AM What a dour person I'd be not to laugh at myself. Thanks for the recognition as well as for your kind thoughts, Gershon.

Charles Messina November 7, 2019 at 8:18 AM Next time your coming to my house for Thanksgiving, but I'll do the cookin" (lol) Fun write Lin. Congratulations on POTD. Charlie Lin Lane November 7, 2019 at 8:23 AM That sounds like a plan, Charlie. I'll bring dessert. Thanks so much for the read and great comments. They're appreciated.

Joseph May November 6, 2019 at 9:43 PM A fun write Lin, Congrats on POTD Lin Lane November 7, 2019 at 8:22 AM Thanks so much, Joseph.

Tania Kitchin November 6, 2019 at 4:31 PM Love it Lin, such a fun and entertaining poem, congratulations on POTD! Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 6:55 PM Thanks for your time of reading and leaving a comment, Tania.

Paula Goldsmith November 6, 2019 at 3:42 PM Congratulation on your POTD. So Cute. If everything went right, we would have nothing to look back on and laugh........ Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 6:55 PM Thanks a lot, Paula.

Winged Warrior November 6, 2019 at 1:10 PM A marvelous fun time, a marvelous write and a marvelous lady...what do you get?...you get Laney... you're like a ghost from the past...I wish you would haunt us more often lol...Congrats!! dear friend on POTD!!... Laney come back!...the soup is getting fun again(understatement)...love from the Warrior...^WW^ :o) Winged Warrior November 8, 2019 at 10:00 PM The Warrior has spoken, (((come back, Laney)))...pretty please!... I miss everything about you, dear friend...especially your comments...second to none...and also our head butting once in a while lol...its people like you that make the place better...you're poetic slave~John aka ^WW^ :o) Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:47 PM Hello dear J. I'm so happy to see that you found me, and left such lovely sentiments for my eyes to behold. I dunno about returning, but if you can convince me things have changed I might be tempted. Love ya, too dear man.

Arturo Michael November 6, 2019 at 11:32 AM You told this really Nice...Got a chance to read YOU...Congratulation Line on POTD...A lovely read... Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:46 PM Thanks ever so much, Arturo.

Brandy Nicole November 6, 2019 at 10:54 AM Your thoughts bring a smile and a giggle. This is cute, clever and very creative. :) Sounds like you had an Adventurous Thanksgiving Day!! Poor Mary-Ann. Well, she shouldn't have laughed. Congratulations Lin, on Poem of the Day. :) Brandy Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:45 PM Thank you for your kind thoughts, Brandy. I appreciate each one.

Ts Poetry November 6, 2019 at 10:20 AM Congrats Lin...always nice to read you Tim Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:45 PM Thanks again, Tim, and I return the compliment to your writing skill. I apologize for not reading you more often...I don't peak in to PS very often.

Constance La France November 6, 2019 at 9:20 AM Lin this was a delightful read and congratulations on POTD, enjoy the honor! Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:44 PM Thank you, Constance. I appreciate your thoughts.

Heidi Sands November 6, 2019 at 8:42 AM Congratulations for POTD ! :) Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 1:43 PM Thank you very much, Heidi.

Jan Allison November 6, 2019 at 8:22 AM I am SO delighted for you Lin, a very well deserved POTD thanks again for the giggle this is such a fun piece:-) hugs jan xx Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:25 AM A little humor from a poem I posted for a contest on another site. Thanks for always reading my writes. You know how much I appreciate your friendship.

Alexis Y. November 6, 2019 at 8:17 AM Lol! Lin, I really enjoyed your comical Thanksgiving tale.Well done. It's always good to see you posting. Is it for the contest? Congratulations on getting the poem of the day. Have a fantastic day my friend:-) Alexis Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:24 AM Hiya, Alexis. It's not for any PS contest, but one I posted on another site and thought the friends I still have here might like it. I don't post often now a days, but thank you for taking time to read and leave your kind comments.

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart November 6, 2019 at 6:58 AM Lol! You served more than just desserts! ;D Hilarious! Congratulations on POTD Lin, hugs! xomo Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:23 AM I thought it was apropos for her smirk and sarcasm.lol Thanks a lot, Mo.

John Gondolf November 6, 2019 at 6:16 AM I enjoyed reading this humorous piece, Lin, I am reminded of my first thanksgiving with my ex, she too failed to remove the bag of giblets from the bird. Congrats on POTD. John Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:22 AM It's a faux pas we'll not be allowed to forget. Good to hear from you, John, and thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts.

Roxane Aristy November 6, 2019 at 5:40 AM Your hilarious poems is stuffed with humor and good will. Congratulations, Lin! Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:21 AM lol thanks for the comments, Roxane.

Anne-Lise Andresen November 6, 2019 at 4:25 AM - Congratulations on a great p.o.t.d., Lin :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:21 AM Thanks so very much, Anne-Lise.

Tom Cunningham November 6, 2019 at 1:49 AM An experience you'll never forget Lin. Hope you're keeping well. Congratulations on POTD. Tom. Lin Lane November 6, 2019 at 8:20 AM G'morning, Tom, and thanks for the comment. I'm well... and hope you're in good health, too. I'm not around often anymore so I appreciate hearing from you..

Ts Poetry November 4, 2019 at 7:57 PM Haha Lin, I think next year we're going out. A fav Lin Lane November 5, 2019 at 6:30 AM I've learned a thing or two since my first turkey. Thanks for stopping by, T.

Chris Green November 4, 2019 at 4:10 PM That was hilarious, especially the bag falling out of the bird. That was a laugh out loud moment for me. really fun Lin and just show the diversity of your talent. Every thing I read from you is amazing. Now let's take about the pumpkin pie. : ) Chris Green November 4, 2019 at 4:43 PM That sounds good to me...I'll take a big slice. : ) Lin Lane November 4, 2019 at 4:30 PM Hi Chris. It's nice to see you, literally, in your avatar. Why have you been hiding? My first turkey and I didn't stuff it so I never knew there was a bag of innards in the neck opening. My family still reminds me when we have turkey. I'm grateful for your laugh out loud moment as much as I am for the compliment about my writing. Now about that pumpkin pie...how about a little rum added to the filling?

Jan Allison November 4, 2019 at 3:37 PM absolutely hilarious Lin the ending especially made me cry with laughter. For an inexperienced cook I guess it must be a daunting task trying to impress the family by cooking such an important meal for the first time, Since joining soup I've wanted to go to a thanksgiving dinner.. but you've possibly made me change my mind lol :-) hugs Jan xx Lin Lane November 4, 2019 at 4:23 PM Oh don't be turned off by anything that falls from the inside of a turkey! Just think about what was in there before it was roasted! Seriously, no... there's nothing serious about this write except that one part of it is true. Thanks for the cries of laughter, Jan.

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