Best Definitely Poems
I once dated a pilot …
We both had our head in the clouds
Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence -
I guess it never really got off the ground!
I once dated a glazier…
He thought I would be putty in his hands
But I could see right through him…
He was constantly smashed
I once dated an undertaker…
He knew he had stiff competition
I couldn’t cope - he was always ‘coffin’ when he picked me up in his hearse
He had no sense of humour in fact he was dead boring
I once dated an angler
The thought he was a real catch…
But the scales soon fell from my eyes
As he was obsessed with his flies
I once dated a footballer
He thought he could score with me
Told me he had great tackle…
But it was just a load of balls
I once dated a fishmonger…
He thought he was cod’s gift to women
He invited me back to his plaice…
Where I found out he was really a cold fish
Submitted to 101 poems in a row
Sponsored by PD Linda:-)
15th April 2016
I popped my cherry
innocence...
a thing of the past
Inspired by Andrea's contest
6th August 2015
I once dated a chef …
I was worried about getting a bun in the oven
But when I saw him mincing across the kitchen
I knew I wouldn’t be getting my fingers burned!
I once dated a fireman…
Oh he was HOT HOT HOT
But when he got out his tiny hose
It soon put out the flames of my desire
I once dated an electrician ..
Hoping that he would light up my life
But he was short tempered and would quickly blow a fuse
Sadly in the end there was no spark between us
I once dated a plumber…
I was flushed with pride when we were out together
Sadly he had problems with his waterworks
I ditched him… he was always taking a leak
I once dated a bricklayer
Couldn’t resist pointing out my faults
He wouldn’t listen, it was like talking to a brick wall
In the end he drove me up the wall and our relationship crumbled
15th April 2016
It is not a sliver shame, that I have never felt what it feels like to dance along with the coldest feelings of winter, or holiday away with the warmest summer breezing, or either skate swiftly on the snowfall iced grounds.
I might be called a complicated bush man, for this. But I do not feel less aware intelligently or less creative to life affairs.
Because, I am wise enough to know,that it is the same heavens, that someone on the sea sees, that is the same view someone on land sees also. There might be difference in the atmospheric temperature, but the heavens will always remain a sky and not a scarf or scar.
I am an alien to summer, autumn, winter, spring and definitely a super alien to snow, but I am not an alien to hope, understand and experience, and surely my faith and hope of being in a snowy, summer and winter environment, shall never expire, this I known!
One day, I shall make summer my muffler of inspiration,
autumn, my soulful air of perseverances and continuity to excellence,
While winter, will be my successful coolant, to fluid up the burning inspiration of my unborn books.
Till then,
I shall humbly wait and boldly work on, sincerely to a fashionably attractive endeavour, till I completely erase the uncultivated feelings.
And when I have achieved my crystal dreams of dancing to the summer breeze and clothing myself with snows, then I shall shake the sown feelings off, and start dreaming of visiting the moon.
Do not forget to brush your teeth
For a rotten future you will meet
I forgot myself
And sourly dealt
With a pain so indiscreet
There was a young chap from Berlin
Who stressed lack of sleep was a sin
He would get out of bed
On condition, he said,
That breakfast included dry gin.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Contest: A Traditional Limerick
Hosted by Viv Wigley
Placed 2nd
I once dated a weatherman
At first he had a sunny outlook…
He had our future all mapped out
But he suffered periods of deep depression so our relationship got rained off
I once dated an optician
He said he could see our future was together
But soon I stopped wearing rose tinted glasses ...
He was always smashed and making a spectacle of himself
I once dated a librarian
He claimed he was an open book
But I couldn’t cope with the periods of intense silence
So the writing was on the wall and I threw the book at him
I once dated a farmer
He ploughed straight into our relationship
But I discovered he was a muck spreader
And when he started playing the field I ditched him
I once dated a baker
He was very upper crust and well bred
But he couldn’t get his dough to rise
So I toasted his future and said goodbye
I once dated a hairdresser
He was very trim and didn’t have a hair out of place
But he was always making cutting comments
So I cut the relationship short
I once dated a doctor
He had a wonderful bedside manner and he made my temperature rise
But he became very cold and started injecting poison
I lost my ‘patient’s’ and got sick of him so I gave him the cold shoulder
I once dated a barman
He wore very attractive glasses
But he was always on the pull
So I gave him sort measures and 'called time' on our relationship
I once dated a retired policeman
He was an arresting sight
But when he took down his particulars
His truncheon was all floppy – so I bailed out
N/A in Just make me laugh Contest judged on 08/30/16
Submitted to take the dagger from my heart please contest
Sponsored by Broken Wings
27th August 2016
Its a signal to start-
a lion beats the heat as he try's his travels and races it to high speed art!
Becoming lied to by the betrayals of his farse he's ...
Becoming faster by the darts-
his disaster was the park!
No no it was the land got plastered and he was simply stuck without sparks!
So why find her when it's delivered by cars?
Why need the reminder to zone out the narks?
Its intangible legion that carries me as I embark,
because they have no other reasons anyhow and I blend in in the dark!
So yes! Get to them faster than ever before,
my face is always the site for any who cannot be made to understand why it carts.
Blah blah blah nature
Blah blah blah nature blah blah
What a waste of time
I am definitely ready to say it
I hope she is ready to hear it
How will she take it, who knows?
I take a deep breath and here goes
I stutter and I stammer thru
She said “I know and I love you too”
Welsh dragon sausage
they’re very hot and spicy
I’m burning both ends
Welsh dragon sausages are absolutely delicious. They contain chili, leeks and garlic and are VERY spicy!
(N B ... they DO NOT contain real dragons !!!)
www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/dragon-sausage-food-farce-2299224
4/21/18
My heart burst into flaming love
Burning memories there forever
Your touch branded eternally on my spirit
I've breathed worthless air until you
Now I sit here missing you
Trapped within this mortal existence
This oxygen continuing my loneliness
Copyright © 2014 Robert William Gruhn - All Rights Reserved
"A poem to me is the essence of any thought,
Being built from its foundation into tower scraping sky.
It can fly like no other bird to places never seen,
Even spaceships can only dream of taking its place."
© 2014 Robert William Gruhn
My heart burst into flaming love
Burning memories there forever
Your touch branded eternally on my spirit
I've breathed worthless air until you
Now I sit here missing you
Trapped within this mortal existence
This oxygen continuing my loneliness
Copyright © 2014 Robert William Gruhn - All Rights Reserved
"A poem to me is the essence of any thought,
Being built from its foundation into tower scraping sky.
It can fly like no other bird to places never seen,
Even spaceships can only dream of taking its place."
© 2014 Robert William Gruhn
Copyright © 2015 Robert William Gruhn
Discouraging others
Expecting instant respect
Fingering a bad guy
Imagining worst scenario
Negating someone’s accomplishments
Irritating people in a mean way
Tasting caviar
Eating slimy oysters
Laughing at a person’s misfortune
Yelling about people I have never met
Needling a nefarious never-do-well-er
Ostracizing an ostrich
Tackling a Tiger
OUT OF A CROWD OF PEOPLE,YOU
STAND OUT TO BE THE MOST
BEAUTIFULEST FROM A MILE AWAY
YOUR,BRUTALLY
BEAUTIFUL,BEAUTIFUL
SHADOW,BEAUTIFUL,BODY AND
UNIQUE BEAUTIFUL EYES.MOST
DEFINITELY BEAUTIFUL FROM TOP
TO BOTTOM.