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Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date Part 3

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http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/men_you_definitely_wouldnt_want_to_date___part_1_777981

http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/men_you_definitely_wouldnt_want_to_date___part_2_778175

I once dated a weatherman At first he had a sunny outlook… He had our future all mapped out But he suffered periods of deep depression so our relationship got rained off I once dated an optician He said he could see our future was together But soon I stopped wearing rose tinted glasses ... He was always smashed and making a spectacle of himself I once dated a librarian He claimed he was an open book But I couldn’t cope with the periods of intense silence So the writing was on the wall and I threw the book at him I once dated a farmer He ploughed straight into our relationship But I discovered he was a muck spreader And when he started playing the field I ditched him I once dated a baker He was very upper crust and well bred But he couldn’t get his dough to rise So I toasted his future and said goodbye I once dated a hairdresser He was very trim and didn’t have a hair out of place But he was always making cutting comments So I cut the relationship short I once dated a doctor He had a wonderful bedside manner and he made my temperature rise But he became very cold and started injecting poison I lost my ‘patient’s’ and got sick of him so I gave him the cold shoulder I once dated a barman He wore very attractive glasses But he was always on the pull So I gave him sort measures and 'called time' on our relationship I once dated a retired policeman He was an arresting sight But when he took down his particulars His truncheon was all floppy – so I bailed out N/A in Just make me laugh Contest judged on 08/30/16 Submitted to take the dagger from my heart please contest Sponsored by Broken Wings 27th August 2016

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Nayda Ivette Negron Flores

Date: 9/19/2016 11:08:00 AM

Congratulations Jan on the placement of the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/19/2016 3:51:00 PM

Many thanks Nayda:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 9/14/2016 12:46:00 PM

Jan, CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this fun read, I smiled the whole time reading it, I think I dated some of those men too !!!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/15/2016 2:30:00 AM

LOL Constance - I will be reading some of the little poems on stage on 18th Nov - we have our first rehearsal tonight - I just have to choose my favourite ones from the 3 poems:-) hugs jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 9/14/2016 3:59:00 AM

These are really wonderful Jan congratulations on your win!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/14/2016 4:49:00 AM

There is probably scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Lu Loo

Date: 9/13/2016 4:27:00 PM

Jan! lol this is great and has your name written all over it lol congratulations on your placement :)-luloo

Jan Allison
Date: 9/13/2016 4:50:00 PM

Thanks LuLoo I was delighted to be on your winners list. This is the third of a series of poems and I'm going to choose my favourite 5 or 6 occupations from them and read them on stage on 18th Nov along with my Just desserts poem:-) hugs jan xx

Darren White

Date: 9/2/2016 3:40:00 AM

You are awesome! I love your poems, you make me smile and laugh and happy :)

Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2016 4:54:00 PM

Yes we are fine thanks Darren he is monitored every 6 months but it will be 3 years in November so I hope he continues to remain cancer free:-)

Darren White
Date: 9/3/2016 1:46:00 AM

I am really sorry to hear about your husband! Are the both of you doing (sort of) okay at the moment? hugs!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/2/2016 5:47:00 PM

:-):-) If I can bring a smile to someone's face and brighten up their day then it makes it all worthwhile - no matter what traumas I have faced since I started writing when my hubby had cancer surgery I can write humour at the drop of a hat:-) I do surprise people with my more serious poems but I have to go with the flow of my muse:-) hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley

Date: 8/28/2016 1:34:00 AM

Multiple chuckles, Jan, well thought up. A topster if ever I saw one. Viv x

Jan Allison
Date: 8/28/2016 3:46:00 AM

Thanks Mr Viv and thanks for joining in the collaboration I've had more poems added:-) hugs Jan xx

Lynn Marie

Date: 8/27/2016 6:36:00 PM

What a rollicking fun read Jan :-) The details of each verse are so... 'detailed'..a bundle of mini tales that are LoL funny rolled into one cleverly crafted poem! : A winning combination:-) My very best to you in the contest. blessings, lynn

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 6:39:00 PM

Thanks Lynn - this is the third poem I've written using occupations ... there may be scope for a 4th one lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Quigley

Date: 8/27/2016 4:42:00 PM

A very entertaining list of turkeys. :-) Looks like a winner to me!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 5:09:00 PM

LOL Thanks Tom - I think there is still scope for a part 4 sometime :-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 8/27/2016 1:33:00 PM

If this doesn't make her laugh ...nothing will...Great humor Jan...hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2016 4:53:00 PM

It didn't make her laugh Joseph lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 1:36:00 PM

Thanks Joseph - I kept changing my mind about which old poem to enter then I remember the draft of this from about May .. part 4 may follow one day lol:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 8/27/2016 9:44:00 AM

LoI! What a great entry for the contest theme. You are good and really funny. I laughed out loud at each one. I have a feeling you secured a spot on the winners list with this clever write. A Big seven. :-) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 10:00:00 AM

Thanks Alexis - I'm not sure what will make the sponsor smile i kept changing my mind and swapped 3 different old poems, then I remembered I'd got the draft of this one I wrote probably in May so I dusted it down and finished it:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Quigley

Date: 8/27/2016 9:03:00 AM

Ha! Good one!

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 9:04:00 AM

Thanks Tom:-) I think there is still scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 8/27/2016 8:14:00 AM

Lol... I liked the Baker.... what about the butcher and candle stick maker

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 8:17:00 AM

I cant remember if I wrote one about the butcher, I could also do the milkman in part 4 lol - still so much scope lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner

Date: 8/27/2016 7:57:00 AM

I think the baker is my favorite. Just a tad "cheeky" Lol Great fun, Jan. I realize this is a family friendly site but I can't help but wonder where you would go if it wasn't.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/28/2016 8:26:00 AM

I've thought about it Daniel - there would be only one place for me to turn to ... Arthur Vaso's website would be the place I would flee - I hope in time he expands so that we can post poems there:-) :-)hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 8:12:00 AM

I'll stay as long as they put up with my poop Daniel lol - I've seen poems here that are so 'graphic' they make mine look like they were written by Mickey mouse ... so I don't think I have too much to worry about at the moment:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 8/27/2016 7:10:00 AM

Jan, Jan, Jan.... the optician making a spectacle of himself! I tremble to think what you'd write if you'd dated a mortician.

Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 7:13:00 AM

hee hee hee - I did write about an undertaker in part 1 I think lol:-)... there is always room for part 4 lol:-):-) hugs Jan xx