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Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date Part 3

I once dated a weatherman
At first he had a sunny outlook…
He had our future all mapped out
But he suffered periods of deep depression so our relationship got rained off

I once dated an optician
He said he could see our future was together
But soon I stopped wearing rose tinted glasses ...
He was always smashed and making a spectacle of himself

I once dated a librarian
He claimed he was an open book
But I couldn’t cope with the periods of intense silence
So the writing was on the wall and I threw the book at him

I once dated a farmer
He ploughed straight into our relationship
But I discovered he was a muck spreader
And when he started playing the field I ditched him

I once dated a baker
He was very upper crust and well bred
But he couldn’t get his dough to rise
So I toasted his future and said goodbye

I once dated a hairdresser
He was very trim and didn’t have a hair out of place
But he was always making cutting comments
So I cut the relationship short

I once dated a doctor
He had a wonderful bedside manner and he made my temperature rise
But he became very cold and started injecting poison
I lost my ‘patient’s’ and got sick of him so I gave him the cold shoulder

I once dated a barman
He wore very attractive glasses
But he was always on the pull
So I gave him sort measures and 'called time' on our relationship

I once dated a retired policeman
He was an arresting sight
But when he took down his particulars
His truncheon was all floppy – so I bailed out

N/A in Just make me laugh Contest judged on 08/30/16
Submitted to take the dagger from my heart please contest
Sponsored by Broken Wings


27th August 2016

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Nayda Ivette Negron Flores Date: 9/19/2016 11:08:00 AM Congratulations Jan on the placement of the contest. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/19/2016 3:51:00 PM Many thanks Nayda:-) hugs Jan xx

Constance La France Date: 9/14/2016 12:46:00 PM Jan, CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this fun read, I smiled the whole time reading it, I think I dated some of those men too !!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/15/2016 2:30:00 AM LOL Constance - I will be reading some of the little poems on stage on 18th Nov - we have our first rehearsal tonight - I just have to choose my favourite ones from the 3 poems:-) hugs jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 9/14/2016 3:59:00 AM These are really wonderful Jan congratulations on your win! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/14/2016 4:49:00 AM There is probably scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Beautiful Scars Date: 9/13/2016 4:27:00 PM Jan! lol this is great and has your name written all over it lol congratulations on your placement :)-luloo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/13/2016 4:50:00 PM Thanks LuLoo I was delighted to be on your winners list. This is the third of a series of poems and I'm going to choose my favourite 5 or 6 occupations from them and read them on stage on 18th Nov along with my Just desserts poem:-) hugs jan xx

Darren White Date: 9/2/2016 3:40:00 AM You are awesome! I love your poems, you make me smile and laugh and happy :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 9/3/2016 4:54:00 PM Yes we are fine thanks Darren he is monitored every 6 months but it will be 3 years in November so I hope he continues to remain cancer free:-) Darren White Date: 9/3/2016 1:46:00 AM I am really sorry to hear about your husband! Are the both of you doing (sort of) okay at the moment? hugs!!! Jan Allison Date: 9/2/2016 5:47:00 PM :-):-) If I can bring a smile to someone's face and brighten up their day then it makes it all worthwhile - no matter what traumas I have faced since I started writing when my hubby had cancer surgery I can write humour at the drop of a hat:-) I do surprise people with my more serious poems but I have to go with the flow of my muse:-) hugs Jan xx

Viv Wigley Date: 8/28/2016 1:34:00 AM Multiple chuckles, Jan, well thought up. A topster if ever I saw one. Viv x Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/28/2016 3:46:00 AM Thanks Mr Viv and thanks for joining in the collaboration I've had more poems added:-) hugs Jan xx

Lynn Marie Date: 8/27/2016 6:36:00 PM What a rollicking fun read Jan :-) The details of each verse are so... 'detailed'..a bundle of mini tales that are LoL funny rolled into one cleverly crafted poem! : A winning combination:-) My very best to you in the contest. blessings, lynn Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 6:39:00 PM Thanks Lynn - this is the third poem I've written using occupations ... there may be scope for a 4th one lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Quigley Date: 8/27/2016 4:42:00 PM A very entertaining list of turkeys. :-) Looks like a winner to me! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 5:09:00 PM LOL Thanks Tom - I think there is still scope for a part 4 sometime :-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May Date: 8/27/2016 1:33:00 PM If this doesn't make her laugh ...nothing will...Great humor Jan...hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/31/2016 4:53:00 PM It didn't make her laugh Joseph lol:-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 1:36:00 PM Thanks Joseph - I kept changing my mind about which old poem to enter then I remember the draft of this from about May .. part 4 may follow one day lol:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 8/27/2016 9:44:00 AM LoI! What a great entry for the contest theme. You are good and really funny. I laughed out loud at each one. I have a feeling you secured a spot on the winners list with this clever write. A Big seven. :-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 10:00:00 AM Thanks Alexis - I'm not sure what will make the sponsor smile i kept changing my mind and swapped 3 different old poems, then I remembered I'd got the draft of this one I wrote probably in May so I dusted it down and finished it:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Quigley Date: 8/27/2016 9:03:00 AM Ha! Good one! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 9:04:00 AM Thanks Tom:-) I think there is still scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith Date: 8/27/2016 8:14:00 AM Lol... I liked the Baker.... what about the butcher and candle stick maker Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 8:17:00 AM I cant remember if I wrote one about the butcher, I could also do the milkman in part 4 lol - still so much scope lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner Date: 8/27/2016 7:57:00 AM I think the baker is my favorite. Just a tad "cheeky" Lol Great fun, Jan. I realize this is a family friendly site but I can't help but wonder where you would go if it wasn't. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/28/2016 8:26:00 AM I've thought about it Daniel - there would be only one place for me to turn to ... Arthur Vaso's website would be the place I would flee - I hope in time he expands so that we can post poems there:-) :-)hugs Jan xx Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 8:12:00 AM I'll stay as long as they put up with my poop Daniel lol - I've seen poems here that are so 'graphic' they make mine look like they were written by Mickey mouse ... so I don't think I have too much to worry about at the moment:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane Date: 8/27/2016 7:10:00 AM Jan, Jan, Jan.... the optician making a spectacle of himself! I tremble to think what you'd write if you'd dated a mortician. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/27/2016 7:13:00 AM hee hee hee - I did write about an undertaker in part 1 I think lol:-)... there is always room for part 4 lol:-):-) hugs Jan xx