Men You Definitely Wouldn'T Want To Date Part 3

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.


http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/men_you_definitely_wouldnt_want_to_date___part_1_777981


http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/men_you_definitely_wouldnt_want_to_date___part_2_778175

 

 

I once dated a weatherman At first he had a sunny outlook… He had our future all mapped out But he suffered periods of deep depression so our relationship got rained off I once dated an optician He said he could see our future was together But soon I stopped wearing rose tinted glasses ... He was always smashed and making a spectacle of himself I once dated a librarian He claimed he was an open book But I couldn’t cope with the periods of intense silence So the writing was on the wall and I threw the book at him I once dated a farmer He ploughed straight into our relationship But I discovered he was a muck spreader And when he started playing the field I ditched him I once dated a baker He was very upper crust and well bred But he couldn’t get his dough to rise So I toasted his future and said goodbye I once dated a hairdresser He was very trim and didn’t have a hair out of place But he was always making cutting comments So I cut the relationship short I once dated a doctor He had a wonderful bedside manner and he made my temperature rise But he became very cold and started injecting poison I lost my ‘patient’s’ and got sick of him so I gave him the cold shoulder I once dated a barman He wore very attractive glasses But he was always on the pull So I gave him sort measures and 'called time' on our relationship I once dated a retired policeman He was an arresting sight But when he took down his particulars His truncheon was all floppy – so I bailed out N/A in Just make me laugh Contest judged on 08/30/16 Submitted to take the dagger from my heart please contest Sponsored by Broken Wings 27th August 2016

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/19/2016 11:08:00 AM
Congratulations Jan on the placement of the contest.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/19/2016 3:51:00 PM
Many thanks Nayda:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/14/2016 12:46:00 PM
Jan, CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this fun read, I smiled the whole time reading it, I think I dated some of those men too !!!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/15/2016 2:30:00 AM
LOL Constance - I will be reading some of the little poems on stage on 18th Nov - we have our first rehearsal tonight - I just have to choose my favourite ones from the 3 poems:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 9/14/2016 3:59:00 AM
These are really wonderful Jan congratulations on your win!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/14/2016 4:49:00 AM
There is probably scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 9/13/2016 4:27:00 PM
Jan! lol this is great and has your name written all over it lol congratulations on your placement :)-luloo
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/13/2016 4:50:00 PM
Thanks LuLoo I was delighted to be on your winners list. This is the third of a series of poems and I'm going to choose my favourite 5 or 6 occupations from them and read them on stage on 18th Nov along with my Just desserts poem:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 9/2/2016 3:40:00 AM
You are awesome! I love your poems, you make me smile and laugh and happy :)
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/3/2016 4:54:00 PM
Yes we are fine thanks Darren he is monitored every 6 months but it will be 3 years in November so I hope he continues to remain cancer free:-)
White Avatar
Darren White
Date: 9/3/2016 1:46:00 AM
I am really sorry to hear about your husband! Are the both of you doing (sort of) okay at the moment? hugs!!!
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 9/2/2016 5:47:00 PM
:-):-) If I can bring a smile to someone's face and brighten up their day then it makes it all worthwhile - no matter what traumas I have faced since I started writing when my hubby had cancer surgery I can write humour at the drop of a hat:-) I do surprise people with my more serious poems but I have to go with the flow of my muse:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/28/2016 1:34:00 AM
Multiple chuckles, Jan, well thought up. A topster if ever I saw one. Viv x
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/28/2016 3:46:00 AM
Thanks Mr Viv and thanks for joining in the collaboration I've had more poems added:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 6:36:00 PM
What a rollicking fun read Jan :-) The details of each verse are so... 'detailed'..a bundle of mini tales that are LoL funny rolled into one cleverly crafted poem! : A winning combination:-) My very best to you in the contest. blessings, lynn
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 6:39:00 PM
Thanks Lynn - this is the third poem I've written using occupations ... there may be scope for a 4th one lol:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 4:42:00 PM
A very entertaining list of turkeys. :-) Looks like a winner to me!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 5:09:00 PM
LOL Thanks Tom - I think there is still scope for a part 4 sometime :-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 1:33:00 PM
If this doesn't make her laugh ...nothing will...Great humor Jan...hugs
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/31/2016 4:53:00 PM
It didn't make her laugh Joseph lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 1:36:00 PM
Thanks Joseph - I kept changing my mind about which old poem to enter then I remember the draft of this from about May .. part 4 may follow one day lol:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 9:44:00 AM
LoI! What a great entry for the contest theme. You are good and really funny. I laughed out loud at each one. I have a feeling you secured a spot on the winners list with this clever write. A Big seven. :-) Alexis
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 10:00:00 AM
Thanks Alexis - I'm not sure what will make the sponsor smile i kept changing my mind and swapped 3 different old poems, then I remembered I'd got the draft of this one I wrote probably in May so I dusted it down and finished it:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 9:03:00 AM
Ha! Good one!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 9:04:00 AM
Thanks Tom:-) I think there is still scope for a part 4 lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 8:14:00 AM
Lol... I liked the Baker.... what about the butcher and candle stick maker
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 8:17:00 AM
I cant remember if I wrote one about the butcher, I could also do the milkman in part 4 lol - still so much scope lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 7:57:00 AM
I think the baker is my favorite. Just a tad "cheeky" Lol Great fun, Jan. I realize this is a family friendly site but I can't help but wonder where you would go if it wasn't.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/28/2016 8:26:00 AM
I've thought about it Daniel - there would be only one place for me to turn to ... Arthur Vaso's website would be the place I would flee - I hope in time he expands so that we can post poems there:-) :-)hugs Jan xx
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 8:12:00 AM
I'll stay as long as they put up with my poop Daniel lol - I've seen poems here that are so 'graphic' they make mine look like they were written by Mickey mouse ... so I don't think I have too much to worry about at the moment:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 8/27/2016 7:10:00 AM
Jan, Jan, Jan.... the optician making a spectacle of himself! I tremble to think what you'd write if you'd dated a mortician.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 8/27/2016 7:13:00 AM
hee hee hee - I did write about an undertaker in part 1 I think lol:-)... there is always room for part 4 lol:-):-) hugs Jan xx
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter