Best Chomp Poems
Ambling thro' the museum today an object caught my eye,
Inviting me to pause and reminisce about a time gone by.
'Twas an old oaken icebox standing there on display.
That ancient relic served as the family refrigerator in its day.
I recollected that we had one like it when I was a tyke,
Growing up on the Hoosier farm on fabled Farmer's Pike.
It cooled the milk and cream and butter that Mom made,
To spread on fresh-baked bread with a tad of marmalade!
What a refreshing sight on a sweltering summer's day,
To see the iceman's truck slowly meandering our way,
Along Farmer's Pike, crystal-clear ice stacked on the truck,
And anticipating a sliver of ice to chomp on and suck!
Mom put a card in the window to show the amount of ice required.
The iceman took note of this and delivered the ice desired.
He'd carry a hundred-pound block of ice on his burly back,
As nonchalantly as if toting feathers in a gunny sack!
Iceboxes served their purpose and in museums they now repose.
Once in awhile you'll find them at flea-markets and antique shows.
Fancy refrigerators now cool the grub and make the ice.
The iceman's logo I yet recall, "Iceman's Ice Is Twice As Nice!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Brain rewired
The spine of prison rattles
Hearts harden
Hungry dogs
Chomp on the bars and the bones
Of his hope
He is lost
Dreams and fears confirm his tears
Time is gone
Guilty truths
Drizzle down his swollen cheeks
“God, I’m yours. . .
Lift my eyes
For your light is my way to
Shame my foes. . .
My clothes droop
My body slumped against death
This soul swells. . .
I need her. . .
If only you knew how much
I miss her. . .
I need You
For You have stayed here with me
Patiently. . .”
The sun peeks
His sad eyes take in the warmth
His heart melts
We are free
The sky is open to you
Now Stay Strong
9/12/2015
After Legend got blown up along with
all of the city zombies,
I was now the sole survivor and sick and tired of
hiding out at Hobby Lobby,
bored of making necklaces, soaps and candles
and doll houses every single day,
I decided hunting countryside zombies should make
up a good part of my day,
deciding to lure all of them south to the Everglades,
that way the alligators down there could have a feeding frenzy day,
running down there as if I were a female Forrest Gump,
the zombies right behind me slowly catching up,
finally making it the edge of the great swamp,
I lured the zombies close by and heard my first chomp,
taking a risk with my ammonia and urine alligator repellant
sprayed all over me,
the alligators came out snatching and eating all the zombies
except for me,
thank God because it gave me time to flee,
desperately searching for a bathroom around the glades,
from drinking on my run down there way too much Gatorade.
10-30-16
Meat in my smokehouse a bit light,
With the weather about right,
One morning at first light,
I headed to buzzard roost hollow,
A leash on Brownie’s collar,
But Brownie went crazy as a goose,
When I turn him loose,
My worse fear, I could hear,
Him chasing a deer,
Out of pope county, was clear,
Anyhow, now, down in the pope county wild woods,
Seated on an Arkansas hollow log,
With my finger on a trigger, and my eye on a hog,
I pulled that trigger, and the bullet went zip,
I jumped on that hog, with all my grip,
Though I knew I had missed,
I couldn’t resist,
Now as my grip would slip.
The hog would rip,
Tusk 8 inches long,
Like ice tongs,
Would chomp and rip,
As the battle begin to tip,
Hog getting the best of a bad situation,
Sure wish my dog hadn’t taken, his deer vacation,
At about the time,
I thought it was, the end of the line,
I heard Brownie coming,
Man, that dog was running,
He had heard the fight,
Was coming back, to claim his right,
Old Johnny Cash, in the boy named Sue,
Ain’t shown my dog and me, nothing new,
Blood guts and hair, rose up in the air,
When ole Brownie took hold, this fight ain’t fair,
Didn’t take no hour,
Untill we were back in our own lair,
We were saying a prayer, within the hour,
I was seated in a chair,
At my kitchen table,
Razorback meat, the label,
Ole Brownie, proving himself to be, very able,
To sit under my table,
For he’s my mean hooooog,
DOG!!!
Dedication: "MoonBee Canady" An outstanding poet of light poetry, as far as I am concerned.
I certainly enjoy reading your light poetry, as well as the other types you write. You go girl,
I hope you like these poems! Godly love, Sincerely Moses
9-27-09 johnmosesfreeman@yahoo.com
I had one thought, it was a lot.
And this thought was followed by a lot more thought.
As more and more came through the door, my mind was cluttered with thoughts galore.
Now here at old Forest Lawn I lie.
The thoughts have ceased, and so have I.
And now all the worms chomp with glee.
At all that thought has left of me.
Sharing hard candy with her best friend Shirley
Impossible task if deciduous teeth are lost prematurely
Although each child progresses in a different rate
My predecessor took its time as I came in a little late
I caused Chloé pain erupting—cutting through her gum
An icepack so frigid was chilling, making me numb
Chloés sneaky attempts to hide sweets in her room
Have cost her front baby teeth to come out to soon
Candy, I chomp up and bite down ‘til it’s in many pieces
Crunchy and noisy, sugar and saliva all over me releases
A child should brush us teeth, at least twice per day
And avoid sugary foods that promote tooth decay
A stubborn child who doesn’t listen to mom's wise advice
Needs to be told over again, more than once more than twice
A sweet tooth like me never gives in and so, I have a chip
Off to the dentist we’ll go, for a temporary behind Chloé’s sore lip!
Big-Mouth Bass
An April morning, as the climbing sun
tipped up in sight, and lit the coming day
and colored red, after a storm was done,
I cast my plug, a stinger--red and gray--
to where it looked the likely place to me,
where hides the hog--from minnows swimming by;
then feeds upon those minnows, carelessly,
as pops the sun into the morning sky.
Upon the water, mirrored flat and still,
I raise the wake, so slight--then let it lay;
and cranking in, so slowly then until
I hear the chomp--that warns he's set to play!
And all the minnows cheer me in my quest
of battle with my most unwilling guest!
© ron wilson aka Vee Bdosa the Doylestown Poet
Ever try eating a Soft Taco Supreme
And not appear like a glutton
With stuff squirting out all over yourself
Down to your old bellybutton
It's all about this amazing experience
Wouldn't be as enjoyable without it
So forget about all those damn cleaning bills
They're part of the joyous trip
As you chomp away with gay abandon
The messier the better, for sure
Without the mess, you ain't no aficionado
Just someone trying to act mature
Acting prim and proper when eating a taco
Has never been part of the scene
So dig right in, the messier the better
Be a proud taco eating machine
© Jack Ellison 2014
Those candies hiding in your valise
say your diet long since lost its lease.
So, chew on those Reeses;
chomp whatever pleases.
You've got more that I can love obese.
As a little girl she loved western boots
Loved to pretend she was riding a giant horse
Pictures were all over the home of her and the white boots
When she got a little older she finally rode a real horse with laughter
Her parents bought her a horse when she was ten and took many pictures
She wore her boots and that horse as well
She fed the horse apples,carrots and peppermints
The horse would chomp the apple and carrots but put the peppermints in his cheek
He sucked on that candy and the drool was red
She would wear her battered boots to school and the horse wore the drool
When she was eighteen the horse died but the boots didn't
They were bigger now and polished in case the boys called
She bought a new horse but wore the old boots
The horse didn't know they were old and the boots were shined
Her friends were all fashionable but the boots were hers
They carried her with marriage,babies and through her divorce
The heels wore down like her marriage but she didn't and the new horse loved peppermints too
Marriages wear as do people but those famous boots can be re shod
And she was older and forgetful and the horse died
But when she put those boots on she was ten and galloping
And she would chomp an apple or carrot and suck on a peppermint
And the drool on her famous boots
To my dear friend and her horse who loved peppermints
A Champion must lust for that ancient adrenaline
the primal prize alive in the eyes, trophy of thunder in the pulse,
a Champion's heart welcomes adversity with teeth gleaming sharply,
worships the battlefield with risk righteous in ripped tradition,
doesn't celebrate the strikes that knock the foe into awe
finds glory in striving for the impossible
creates Legend from the unthinkable become visible,
buries the adversary's soul in the winter of forever woe,
the Champion says with disciplined effort and presence pure in practice,
lightning is comin for you, blasting your bones, bashing your boasts
tear you up and down and all around
your dreams nor dare, will not be found,
The Champion must adore the trauma of training,
remembers the humility of a Beginer's trouncing,
must pray with innocent instinct, thank Providence with confident conviction,
makin bravery out of bruises and being headstrong amidst hecklers,
invents technique like a Freeborn freak,
they shame the opposition into reverence with indisputable excellence,
true Champions are unforgettable, architects of shock and hope irrevocable,
indestructable like a titanium pyramid,
To be a Champion is to have a demolishing drive,
they must excel when underestimated
and must dominate when expected to succeed,
the Champion's Faith devours fear and punishes pretenders,
to finish the foe with decisive declaration, " Check Mate! "
a Champion always defies, and never dies,
there is no calculation of defeat for an Angel following a Divine beat -
J.A.B.
Many maidens have seen me rushing the gates of Paradise's pen,
I stomp and buck at all intruders of shallow flirt and short strident ride,
blue ribbons and sterling mouth bits interest me not,
no ordinary broad is going to braid my tail or crack my hide,
but only for you do I bang soft layered earth, chomp the fruit you convivially carry,
I'm a bona fide rodeo cheer and champion, the big ticket dangle,
they would pay high for the thump and pump of my dash and balls,
you I let service with original flavor, knees that were born to secure my ribs,
I like your saddle, firm oiled and supple, lets grip together off trails of tempered tourism,
love the way your voice tickles my plush fury ears,
I've got four horseshoes girl, ones gotta be lucky, lets leap and laugh,
escape the cattleman's dogs and outrun law & order,
touch and hug in brooks stiring sweet syrup,
have nipples hard like wine cork and thighs taut with tingle,
so get on babe, this Bronco is true to go, we're both gonna flow -
J.A.B.
A green sweaty swampy land
Maybe no place for a man
But it is a home to many creatures
Such as our friend's the alligators
Now not so long ago,
In their steamy mysterious habitat
There was a fog so dim it almost made it black
and it had large limb's that hung low on the trees
And each slim blade of grass went an inch above your knees
All gators that lived here
seemed to be very ornary and mean
And it was considered ordinary
To attack their peers With bone crushing teeth
One could ask,
Why are they so mad?
But it's not their fault
It's just the way they were taught how to act
Ever since their speckled eggs hatched
And learned how to make their jaws snap
However, not all gators were like this
There was one who was filled with happiness
He wore a blue hat and a bright orange shirt
Everyone reluctantly called him Albert
Because Albert happened to be completely different
All the other gators kept him at an arm's distance
They called him names and spat in his face
But his joy just never seemed to fade
See Albert had a huge dream
His dream was to be with the humans
As they yelled and screamed
For the local school's winning football team
Out of nothing but sheer excitement,
Albert shared this with the others
But they all laughed even his brothers
So Albert decided right then
to not care about what anyone said
And to pursue his only dream
No matter how long or tough it may be
The next day Albert left that dreary swamp
On mission to prove the nay-sayers wrong
And when he left that dim fog grew so dark
You could not see or hear a big dog's bark
So he made his way to the nearby school
Where he saw not no one, not a single soul
Every building was empty
From the top to bottom floor
The all of a sudden, Albert heard a thundering roar
"Romp!, Stomp!, Chomp!, Welcome to the Swamp!"
He rushed to the football stadium
Where he was met with open arms
He finally felt accepted, safe from abuse and harm
So with his new friends, he rose up in exultation
His life was anew, he was the love of Swamp Nation
Ain't no wonder we're baffled about eatin' - ever'thing is taboo.
We're deluged by self-appointed gurus toutin' their points uv view.
Can't they desist and find somethin' more productive to do?
They can eat their tofu and water cress- I prefer a hearty stew!
The experts can't determine which is best, reg'lar coffee er decaf,
So I slurp my mornin' joe, settlin' fer a mug uv half n' half.
Fast foods ain't recommended but I'd fight fer Burger King Whoppers!
Ain't nobody tellin' me what I can er can't chomp on with my choppers!
Some folks say aigs is good fer you - some say they're not.
I eat 'em boiled, fried and scrambled - it don't mean diddley squat!
Another profound debate persists and causes me to muse,
Is whether it's wholesome er not to partake uv a snort of booze!
Seems these fellers jes' confound our lives and like to obfuscate,
Leavin' the rest uv us bewildered as they continue their debate.
My cholesteral, glucose and platelets wuz perfect in my last exam.
I've survived nigh four-score years eatin' pizza, cake and spam!
I guess its politically correct to engage in the latest dietary fad,
But in brief, here's the case uv my dear old Mom and Dad.
They et what they wanted and survived four-score years and more,
Never mindin' the cholesterol, fats and carbs that docs now abhor!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Ethiopia was easy to chew right through
African jungles taste delicious yum
Biodiversity treasure-troves devoured
No splintered aftertaste or toothpicks left
Eating Australia was a challenge
Don't want to hurt no kangaroos
I wish I had a bigger mouth for Europe
To cover bushes and lumber in one chomp
Rain in South America is like salad dressing
Makes me famished as trees vanish one by one
Canopy after canopy drop
This place is too alien for me
Sand has always been my favorite snack
I'm moving on to dryer spots
When I finish with this world real soon
It's off to other planets to consume