Best Captain Poems
Kirk: ‘Lt. Uhura, come to my quarters at 1800 hours’
Uhura: ‘Yes captain, might I ask what’s up?’
Kirk: ‘Nothing now but something WILL be at 1800 hours’
Bones: ‘Jim, is this a medical issue?’
Kirk: ‘You bet your ***** it is, Bones’
Sulu: ‘Captain, a Klingon ship is approaching’
Kirk: ‘Blast that sucker to smithereens, I got a date’
Chekov: ‘Captain, you’ll need protection on this mission’
Kirk: No problem Ensign, got a few here in my wallet’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘May the force be with you’
Kirk:’ Thanks Obi, but you’re in the wrong contest’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘This isn’t PD’s contest?’
Kirk: ‘HELL no, now SKAT will probably disqualify us’
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ‘Well, may the force be with you anyway’
Kirk: ‘Look Kenobi, nobody’s forcing ANYBODY here’
Spock: ‘Captain, I’m receiving a message from SKATfleet Command’
Kirk: ‘What Mr. Spock? And why do you always talk like that?’
Spock: ‘To qualify for the contest, the writer has to command the ship’
Kirk: ‘Damn it all! What the…FRONT AND CENTER WRITER!’
Writer: ‘Um…All hands on deck?...Anchors away?’
Uhura: ‘Ohh Captain KIRRK, it’s 1800 hours’…
Kirk: ‘Not now Uhura, I’m not in the mood!’
Uhura: Ohh Captain WRITERRR, it’s 1800 hours’…
Writer: ‘Kirk, you have the helm. I’ll be in my quarters’
Spock: ‘Fascinating’
Kirk: ‘Shut-up Spock’…
Tim Ryerson
Theme: Sexual harassment in the workplace
For SKAT’s contest
My parrots name was Captain Flint,
Boy that bird could swear.
I never invited visitors,
So blue was the air.
He'd squawk "pretty effing polly"
Or "give us a cracker you t##t"
I'd never heard such swearing,
I never taught him that.
I bought him off a sailor
Who was heading back to sea,
He said to me, "you'll love him
He's such good company."
And what he said was right
He entertained, it's true.
I said "who's a pretty boy then"
He squawked, " well not effing you !"
The profanities just got too much,
I sold him, with regret.
But the house seems so quiet now,
Without my 'effing' pet !
Wading through flooded streets as hurricane rain poured
A man fell into the flow when sharp thunder roared
As a journalist reporting live from the scene
I saw lightning crack through the sky, heard the man scream
“Is he homeless?” I asked the emergency crew
The director shook his head; the answer he knew
“He lives in our park now, but served in Vietnam
He saved his entire unit from the Viet Cong.”
The team pulled him from the gutter to the shelter
I brought him tea, forgot I was a reporter
I asked why he’d screamed, his memory seemed hazy
“Did you hear the bombs drop?” asked Captain Bob Mazy
The emergency director took me aside
“We call him Crazy Mazy,” he did confide
He suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder
Can’t live with the lives he took following orders.”
When Hurricane Kate passed o’er the Gulf Coast
I’d seen much destruction, but remembered Mazy most
His story I broadcasted and vets contacted me
The donations poured in; so many gave freely
Soon we’d accumulated twenty-five grand
Just enough to buy Mazy an acre of land
Then people from his home state gathered one weekend
To build him a home, much effort they expended
Several social workers set up counseling services
To meet all his needs, everyone made concessions
Local stores gave him clothing, food, even a job
No longer “Crazy Mazy,” he was now just Bob
A gentle man who soon overcame all his fears
On Memorial Day, he was greeted by cheers
Accolades he’d never heard when he returned from Nam
But attitudes had changed and people’s hearts had warmed
Always seek to be guided by the North star - Polaris
But never forget to look daily at the Southern Cross
Constantly be reminded that a greater power is also stirring your ship.
Deny yourself the enchanting songs of temptations
Endure and listen to the whispering waves of truth
Fight the cold and heat that wears you down
Get enough sleep for the day will surely be long
Help strangers along the way, keep your rafts and life rings ready.
In strong winds, ride the waves but grip the helm steady
Just you, only you- the captain decides your destiny
Keep your lifeline always secure
Lest sudden waves of trials come crashing
Manage your provisions wisely for land maybe distant
Note every important turn or decision for you may need markers
Order your men with authority but keep a humble heart
Picture your goals, make vivid your plans and charge!
Quietly accept defeat and learn from mistakes but keep charging.
Respect everyone for what they are, even your subordinates.
Stay on course, veer only when necessary but be wary of time
Teach and learn from teaching
Ultimately, be the master of your time…
Vanguard of your wishes and hopes…
Winner of your struggles…
Xenagogue of lost souls…
Yoke of dependence and comfort
Zealot of faith and love.
"I would rather be on a leaky ship that is mine, than aboard a more seaworthy vessel going where I don't wish it to go"—Poet's alter ego
Yes, I know what I’m doing
I’m the master of my fate
The captain of the sinking ship
Seeking harbor in ports whether safe or rocky
With gusto I plow through uncharted frontiers
Why do I do these things to myself? you ask
Perhaps I’m a rebel in search of what's unbeknownst
to me, in search of virgin long lost horizons pristine
Horizons others deem unreachable
I’m bold, brash and yeah sassy, brassy
And irrepressible! You can’t love me you see,
I’m a Lonewolf, and it's quite fine, to be…
Untamed as the wild northern wind
Sweeping the prairies with a gusting woman’s surge
Nature's raw elements try in vain to halt my advances
But I laugh and mock at Mother's efforts
Although I’m tossed and torn
In the grips of Her relentless tempests,
Her storms of fury suppressing, oppressing
Her stern and staid demands to obey, tame and domesticate
You may say I’m the constructor of my own chaos
A free-spirit, challenging myself
My integrity intact, place not your pity on me
Respect is my hallmark and independence,
my calling.
The captain’s eyes glow ruby red
Atop the steamer’s deck –
A rusted tin can set adrift
By rough Atlantic crests
A crimson emblem sanctions
This whaler’s floating tomb –
A battered vessel bearing
Insignias of doom
Red ember sparks illuminate
The old man’s hickory pipe,
As he begins to scour the sea
For subtle signs of life
The radar soon shines fiery red,
And deckhands race to find
Their harpoons pointed straight ahead
At monsters in mid-dive
'There she blows!' the captain blares,
His face now beating red;
The hunt is on for him again,
And victory’s ahead
But as the scarlet sun moves west,
Black storm clouds open wide,
And though the weary crew protests,
He keeps the men in line
One well aimed shot is all he needs
To stain the ocean red,
But angry winds and beating rain
Show no signs of an end
The crimson hull begins to quake
As waves come crashing down,
And though the crew is mad with fright,
The captain only frowns
Then finally a sound rings sharp
Amid the roaring surf –
The red harpoon has found its mark:
A whale of massive girth
'We got her now!' the captain chimes,
His new prize bleeding red,
But with his words a rogue wave climbs
Ten feet above their heads
As they stare up with fear and awe,
They realize their fate –
Atop the blood-red steamer bow,
They know that it's too late
And though the crew and captain pray
For rescue from the squall,
The phantom wave of burgundy
Descends to drown them all.
Normally, I'd not "Dare" choose just one poet
to honor. This time I have, hoping I don't blow it.
I've chosen to break my "Silence" in "Gratitude"
for "Captain Tom," a man who has a great attitude.
He posts "Footle x 20" and genius "Covid Limericks."
Ribald anecdotes that make us smile, just for kicks.
I pay "A Tribute" to his cleverness and amusing wit.
He could stand at "Hells Gates" with "True Grit."
We've all enjoyed his "Lockdown Humour" on site.
He's not afraid of "Confrontation," and will fight
with "A Rattling Rhyme" written with "Sharp Sword."
Tom's historical epic writes never leave me bored.
He shines like "Northern Lights" in "The Night Sky."
Believes in God, if you read his Etheree, "The Magi."
Tom Cunningham offers "Wise Words to Ponder"
from many years of traveling, hither and yonder.
He's usually the first to announce poem of the day.
Poetry Soup is like "The Zoo" with lots of wordplay.
It's been a "Ghost Town" when "True Angels" left
leaving Tom feeling very sad and terribly bereft.
He wrote "If I Ruled The World" I'd have a goal...
There'd be no bullies or "Gremlins in My Soup Bowl!"
Then post "A Few Limericks to Lighten Your Mood."
Mark my words; Captain Tom can be mighty shrewd.
At "Daybreak" he might be hard to find, out of reach.
Likely, he's taking "An Early Morning Walk on the Beach."
A little "Red Wine" and he gets into "Mischief," and yet,
I doubt Tom often walked on "The Highway of Regret."
He's a man of morals, so "Don't Criticize" my choice.
"In Times Like These" I appreciate his fine poetic voice.
Tom is a loyal friend; who genuinely seems to care.
On "Life's Journey," he's not ready for "The Rocking Chair."
June 3, 2021
Title Wave Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Rick Lamoureux
In tribute to Tom Cunningham ~ gentleman and poet
captain Breckenridge, listen to what I said
the crew is hungry because they are not getting fed
our rations are low and if you give it time,
we shall have a mutiny on our hands
just give me the order and say it with me,
captain Breckenridge
someone shall walk the plank and
the hungry sharks are wolves tonight,
aye, and the sharks are waiting overboard,
to be fed
Captain: Permission to speak,
Although I may not even be able to squeak,
And you gaze upon me makes my knees weak,
It is only truth that I speak.
I see in you immeasurable courage,
Yet, your heart is used for nothing but storage,
I must admit I am the leader of your entourage,
But your dismissal of love leaves me in an outrage.
You fly to the ends of space,
But your heart is going to waste,
But if I could just state my case,
I could wrap your heart in velvet and lace.
Please, just give my love a chance,
I could teach your heart to dance,
For I have cherished you from first glance,
And mine is the purest love from Pluto to France.
I can teach your heart to love,
To infuse it with the magic of the stars above,
My heart fitting yours like a hand in a glove,
It shall be the one tree that stands apart from the grove.
Give me one moment in time,
And I shall show you the sublime,
Give me reason to my rhyme,
And I shall give you, my Captain, my entire universe for one precious lifetime!
On a horse at the crossroads a pistol in his hand
Dressed in dark clothing he looked fine and grand
Waiting in the moonlight for the York coach to appear
With cool nerves of steel; he showed no fear.
A gentleman by day and a Highwayman by night
Only carried out his crimes when the moon shone bright
Nicknamed Captain Luna; there was a price on his head
If you didn’t part with your valuables you’d end up dead
He heard it in the distance; the approaching coach
A lady friend had requested a necklace or a brooch
He'd heard some well to do had attended a ball
They'd be dripping with jewellery; he wanted it all.
He moved onto the road as the coach drew near
His face covered with a black mask to instill fear
He ordered the two coachmen “slow down to a stop
And throw down those bags you have on the top”.
He then shouted to the passengers" alight if you please
And line up if you will, over yonder by them tree’s”
Three ladies and a gentleman dressed in clothes so fine
Adorned with jewellery that twinkled, in the moonshine.
He said “you and your fine jewellery must forever part
Please fill up my leather bag and I'll let you depart”
The ladies were crying thinking that they'd all die
They thought anything Captain Luna said would be a lie.
He went through the bags and pulled out a silk dress
And thought to himself this will fit my lady friend Tess
He picked up his leather bag and into the night rode away
Leaving his victims quite shaken and in total disarray.
Written 15th day of April 2020.
“Charm'd magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.”
John Keats Ode to a Nightingale
“Strange to find a sea captain quoting Keats.”
The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
She knows nothing
about the sea,
the sails or thee,
your perilous tongue
swimming with the sharks.
The captain dies
by suicide -
nay.
stupidity -
aye.
She’s protected,
captured
by his salty speech.
Oft the wind
carries
its scent of aftershave -
nay, again,
for the bearded captain
scowls,
transcends
with this blasted widow
scores
a poetic love.
11/19/2019
It was not a dark and stormy night and the
captain was not on the deck of his ship.
He was at the old Spanish Inn at a table
by himself. I asked him what he was eating.
He said, "Tuna on rye, coleslaw and a mug
of beer." He was furiously writing something
on a paper napkin.
"When it's not a dark and stormy night," I
asked, "and you're not on the deck of your
ship, do you often come to this old Spanish
Inn and sit at this table?" 'Though he was
busy eating his tuna on rye, coleslaw and
sipping his mug of beer, he replied that he
liked to sit here and write.
"And, what will you do when you retire?"
I asked.
"If it's not a dark and stormy night, and I'm
not on the deck of my ship, I'll probably
come to this old Spanish Inn and sit at this
table by myself and order tuna on rye, coleslaw
and a mug of beer. Then I'll probably sit and
write for awhile. Here's one I wrote:
It was not a dark and stormy night, and I was
not on the deck of my ship. I had come to the
old Spanish Inn to sit by myself and write at
a little Spanish wooden table. I had just
ordered tuna on rye when the waitress asked
me what I was doing. I told her I was retiring
and had come to this inn to sit and write
poetry, repetends mostly.
it's gift time soon...
and a xmas
pi-card book 'sees-on'...
so one nice...
'ought-to-buy-a-graphic'
write be...
pat's trick...
to 'stew art' and
make it sew...
descriptive ideas within...
a meme-ore eased
memoir
stan sand
"Oh Captain, my Captain."
As memories rush in.
We'd laugh, we'd cry.
We'd ponder and grin.
You touched us , you moved us.
You were like family.
"Oh Captain, my Captain"
What didn't we see?
The world now mourns,
the world now cries.
"Oh Captain, my Captain"
there's tears in our eyes.
"Oh Captain, my Captain"
you were one of a kind.
We'll remember you with love
and may peace your soul find.
R.I.P. Robin Williams
I am the captain of my ship
Sailing uncharted oceans
I am the captain of my mates
To whom I owe devotion
Sailing we on mounting waves
Awash, unconscious, unafraid
Sail we over counting days
A voyage of dreams that we have made
Helmsman turnabout I say
Were charting a new course
Fortune fills our sails today
Destiny’s our force
Believe in you, believe in me
A rhythm that is true
Focus on your star that shines
And get there with your crew
I am the captain of my ship
Sailing uncharted oceans
I am the captain with my mates
To whom I have devotion
©dbyrne Nov 2013