Best Calculus Poems
Newton and Leibniz,
both creative geniuses,
birth the Calculus!
There once was a mathematician named Swope
Who said,” In calculus, while I’m deriving, I hope
To find an function so perfect
No tangent could touch it
Lest I fall on a slippery slope"
To find a maximum that’s relative
You have to walk these steps defined in full.
Remember, relative extrema live
(Or are) there at numbers critical,
And they should be continuous at “c”.
Monotonicity, after the lull,
(In here there is no measure of degree)
Just find the plus or minus interval
By choosing terms inside each chosen span.
From here you solve the “f’(x)” by use
Of chosen terms. A part whose graphed slope ran
Upwards-down is maximum, perhaps obtuse.
These things are all you have to keep in mind
When finding functions, some numbered or lined.
on the other-side of a grave wall
there may rightly be a water-vessel
that is chicken-hearted by birth
there may not be around her
a stretching of water-body
do remember
when we all went that day to catch the train
the room of the rail-station was totally vanished
after enquiry it was revealed that
it had gone to observe holidays with its family
in the yolk of the eggs of the snipe
before opening the no-door to take a leap i also knew
that the top-branch of a green and large grasshopper
was mainly made up of white-stones
i did not also have
any mystic words
given by the moon
to recite silently
so without caring for the water
i made a all-complete ocean
with sands and cement
throughout the year
solvency gets down
from the body of the traffic signal
even-then
the monsoon this year
has been under the poverty-line
and the ray of hope is that
it is this circuitous route
leading to the top of the himalaya
that would one day
play the tune of differential calculus
on her guitar
Count it all joy,
Counting is not sentimental,
But cold unerring calculation,
As we press on,
we count the dangers,
oppositions, discouragement, sorrows,
depressions, temptations, desertions,
with difficulties on every side.
Summing up the bits,
we are enveloped in God's,
abiding presence, peace, happiness,
depth in knowing Him, maturity,
glory,and becoming like Him.
Adding up the sum,
we see God's promises,
are unfailing and His will,
is being fulfilled with rewards,
and recompense awaits the disciple.
Then
the total sum is,
all joy with unspeakable glory.
Since the present sufferings,
cannot at all be compared with,
the glory to be revealed in us,
who believe.
In the land of math, where numbers reign,
There lies a fiendish beast, a source of pain.
Calculus, its name, a demon of the mind,
Differential equations, its minions unkind.
The first derivative, it twists and turns,
My brain in knots, my stomach churns.
I integrate, I differentiate,
But my body aches, my mind can’t concentrate.
My pencil snaps, my eraser’s worn,
My textbook’s pages, they’re all forlorn.
I try to solve, I try to learn,
But all I get is a headache, a burn.
The second derivative, it’s worse than before,
My body’s sore, I can’t take it no more.
I try to graph, I try to plot,
But all I see is a tangled knot.
The Laplace transform, it haunts my dreams,
My mind in shambles, it rips at the seams.
I try to solve, I try to compute,
But all I get is a headache, a hoot.
The partial derivative, it makes no sense,
My body’s tense, my nerves are dense.
I try to solve, I try to think,
But all I get is a headache, a brink.
The limit, it’s my mortal foe,
My mind in agony, it’s all aglow.
I try to solve, I try to think,
But all I get is a headache, a brink.
The differential equation, it’s a beast,
My mind in torment, it’s all deceased.
I try to solve, I try to learn,
But all I get is a headache, a burn.
In the land of math, where numbers reign,
I fight the beast, I try to maintain.
But calculus, it’s a force to behold,
A source of laughter, a tale to be told.
Hey babe, I have a confession to make.
When you and I first met, a perfectly inelastic collision must have happened,
Because now all I can do
is to stay by your side.
When you and I first met, I know we’re a one-to-one function,
Because you are
My only solution.
When you and I first met, You got me falling for you,
and I can’t stop
According to Newton’s first law.
Babe, so tell me that you love me,
Because you are the
Counterclockwise torque
That is turning me up.
Tell me that you love me,
Because if I am silver chloride
You must be nitric acid
The only one that can completely dissolve me
And break into my heart.
Tell me that you love me,
Because I want to know that we are not two lines
On different sides of a vertical asymptote
Whose futures shall never cross.
Give me a chance to be your nth degree taylor polynomial
That is tangent to every little bit of you,
So tell me that you love me.
One man says you will
go now to take
my place and kill for me
because I have declared it so.
You will go to the enemy
of our precious country
to march and burn all you see
in a caldron of hell.
Another man looks at
dope in the hood and shoots
a man who would
sell his precious daughter heroin.
Wherein,
he finds himself in prison for life
to march and pace through all he sees
in a caldron of hell.
Who decides who will kill ...
When is it murder
in the guise of patriotic will
shouting in maniacal fervor,
"Take that hill, take that hill!"
Here, take a medal instead
to become emblazoned
on your imprisoned chest
full of dead guilt and shame
marching ...
always marching, moving, dying
and crying in a caldron ...
There is nothing that I cannot forget
Neither the tides
Never the shores
Newer terrains
Nether ashes
There is a fever that I see ferocious
Here is a blanket
Here is a blank verse
Here is a blister
Here is a boulder
There is a slogan that I see rising
Urge to utterance
United hopes
United tribes
Ultimate miseries
It is, it is a mistake that is moist
It is, it is a whisper that is whistling
I am just a centipede waiting for the walls
I am just a centipede lost in lusty sands
I am just a centipede with null and void
Let hundred hunters hang me down
Let thousand thieves thrive upon me
It is all a coinage, concocted calculus of cash and carry !
Absolute Minimum
f has an absolute minimum
at x=a if f(a) < f(x)
for all x in the domain of f
the y value f(a) is the
absolute value of f
I have absolutely no clue
what all this means
because math is not in my genes
A square. Right there.
It moves closer.
Wonderment:
Why square? Why there?
Why me?
Changing shape now.
Every second counts.
No one else will see.
Why me?
The square is lost —
not there,
but once it was:
a square,
drifting toward me.
Now only lines,
perhaps.
A square-cloud
visible only to me
dissolves into nothing.
Why me?