Best Bedpan Poems

The drip is connected to my right arm
It works, as they say, just like a charm
I'm delirious with joy, must be morphine
Here comes the best nurse you've ever seen

My knee was connected to my thigh, they say
My back once connected to my spine, but nay
No...

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A Tribute to Jan Allison, I miss her on PS!


There's a sweet woman I know as Jan,
a valued member of the soup clan.
Her limericks are the best,
Poop humor above the rest!
Her long absence has been a sad span.

 By Tania Kitchin


Jan's bathroom humor could fill...

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My heart is empty, Jeffrey.
I’m standing here transfixed 
within the threshold 
of a vacant bedroom.
The air is still
but the delicate scent 
of your passing soul 
invades my nostrils. 
The aroma travels deep 
inside the tunnels 
of my abdominal cavity -
lingering like... 
a dew-anointed meadow 
sleeping...

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Nurse Tina went to work one day, feeling pretty good.
Things usually didn’t work out, just as she thought they should.
Today she said would be different; I feel it in my bones.
She smiled at everyone she met, despite her college’s groans.
She floated in and out of...

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Wrong bread for Fred

here I am sick in bed
got the chills and aches in my head
called the pharmacy and spoke with Ned
was told of a remedy  of  oatmeal bread

thought that was new so I tried it  instead 
smeared some butter and jelly...

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Old Age Revealed 

In my youth, time was my friend.
With age, time has become the enemy.
I cannot say when you cross that line,
But it happens when you realize
The future is dimmed, and not as important
As it once was.

Reality sets in when you enter the room,
Of...

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Alone. Screaming in agony
Out loud and also in my brain
Turn it off. Phase it out
GIve me something for the pain

Writhing under the sweat stained sheets
Trembling, shaking out of control
Can’t get up. Can’t make sense
How did this destroy my soul?

A slight lifeless turn to the right
The...

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NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE

Imagine open heart surgery,
imagine no blood used.
Triple bypass, just beginning,
blood later … still refused.

Previous surgeries had several,
but this one was near death.
One day ok, then shocking news,
that took away … my breath.

Doctor, ok’d no blood surgery,
came through as Doc did plan.
Just out of intensive...

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November 13th, 2021 - Happy eighty sixth birthday
to my long deceased mom...
Harriet Harris née Kuritsky

My mother succumbed to a terminal illness
two score minus three orbitz passed away
no matter she fought tooth and nail
to keep ovarian/uterine cancer at bay
disease metastasized throughout major organs,
hence demise found grim...

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7/7/21

Just a sample of who I am
Experienced hardship firsthand
Not a sham
They say never bite the hand
That feeds
Yet there is continual greed
Across the land
It's gotten out of hand

Never went according to what was planned
Feeling damned
And stuck in quicksand

Occasionally in wonderland
And unable to understand
This is not just...

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Dearly beloved  those gone but not forgotten  masqueraded in blood and  gore  wrists slit themselves in protest they were being optimistic. In a peculiar protest took one for the team, fully dressed in a full bathtub desensitized  by dying words...

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The surgeon had successfully removed his libido,
then had fed it to the hospital cat.  Afterward,
a series of stuttering expeditions through mind-tunnels
condensed days into moments.
 
Corridors became tubes,
empty except for a memory of a pretty nurse, 
a few demented ghosts---their white bottoms;
beluga whales, peering through...

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Thank you for your still laboring pains.
Thanks for the amnesia of suffering
the bedpan and the bible,
the sunny window
that ran with a watery blood
wherever the flying ducks
rushed toward your gun.

Fingertips tingle, the daily callus is softening,
becoming bearable
the way a fox forgets its trap shattered paw.

Thanks for...

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The surgeon had successfully removed his libido,
then had fed it to the hospital cat. Afterward,
a series of stuttering expeditions through mind-tunnels
condensed days into moments.

Corridors became tubes,
empty except for a memory of a pretty nurse,
hospital gowns and white bottoms
exposed like beluga whales.

She stood by an incinerator...

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When Mr Darcy brought my hand to his lips
Drenched in sweet longing before the scale tips
I, fraught with naivety and desire
Held trust cast into the furnace of mire

Dear friend, two offspring, a dog and a cat
In our fineries we waltzed to 'Take That'
Unbeknown to me,...

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