Wrong Bread For Fred

Wrong bread for Fred

here I am sick in bed
got the chills and aches in my head
called the pharmacy and spoke with Ned
was told of a remedy  of  oatmeal bread

thought that was new so I tried it  instead 
smeared some butter and jelly was spread
laid down with a book that  I hadn’t  read
Did not like the novel , the cover mislead.

still feeling the blahs  I was getting  worse
hoped that I make it without calling a hearse.
got the bible out and looked for a verse
thought it might help to relieve this curse.

I called back to the pharmacy asking for Ned
was told he didn’t work here, it’s a bakery instead
I had dialed the wrong number to get the med
they thought I was ill from not being fed.

 that’s why they told me  to get some bread 
I went to the bakery and told them I was Fred
Ned was there and told me he had misread
‘ ginger bread would have been better instead”

bought some gingerbread and some whipped cream
thought this was unusual and kind of extreme
perhaps a remedy, am hoping  not a scheme
I’m sick enough to just wash downstream.

 the gingerbread went into the oven to bake
ate most if it but then my stomach began to ache
felt dizzy enough but not like floating in a lake
what could be wrong with me, it was only a cake.

was admitted to the hospital, had an abdominal scan
they asked me if I had eaten cereal with bran
told them I made a cake in a non stick pan
added some prunes that I had in a can.

was put in bed dressed with just a flimsy gown
wasn’t enough material to go all the way around
where’s the rest of the sleeper I asked with a frown
‘there is none, you’ll be spotted in case you skip into town”

I need to find a way to slip out the door
where’s my bag with clothes that I wore
the bed has an alarm sensor if you try to soar
using a bedpan will be quite the chore.


wrapped myself up in sheets, hiding my buns
ran down the back stairway before morning comes
Security frantically searching  and yelling  to everyone 
“gingerbread man is on the loose with the runs”!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter